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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this woman is on a different planet

38 replies

Easygo · 10/01/2017 09:43

Ok...so I met this woman when our children were babies at a mother and baby class, our children are both now 3. Over the last couple of years there have been a number of things that have happened where I really have wondered what planet she is on. For example: her child just turned 3 took his bike and travelled a mile, over a train crossing to the supermarket, was picked up by the police and she thinks this is intelligent?! "isn't x so wonderful, you clever boy getting yourself all the way to the supermarket!" Then theres the time I arrived at the house and she was laughing because her child had painted himself from head to foot in paint, rather than use the paper! So now you have a little background here's what has really wound me up, both our kids have started nursery, mine the local play nursery and she has used her vouchers for a private pre prep. I asked her what she was going to do after nursery when they would need to pay if he stayed and she said, not worried he will get a scholarship. Is it really that easy? She then proceeded to put people like me down whom don't aspire for better education for their children and called it lazy to send to the regular nursery without searching for more. I really want to tell her to get lost and look at her own parenting. Even worse this woman is the school nurse advising other parents when they need support! She discusses who's on the child protection list and refuses to send her child when at senior school to the local school because of all the child protected children. For the record her child is really very rude, turns his head, dose the speak when spoken to, hits her when he doesn't get his own way. Sorry for the rant but whilst we all parent our own way this woman is now stating to push my buttons!!!

OP posts:
CoraPirbright · 10/01/2017 10:49

I do hope that social services were involved when she allowed her toddler to bugger off and go a mile from home. Shudder to think what could have happened.

She needs reporting regarding her blatant misuse of confidential information.

As a pp suggests, I would be tempted to have a nosey on the school website regarding scholarships. I do know that some preps offer them higher up the school when the child is older and showing academic potential/sporting flair/musical ability or whatever. But I have never heard of a scholarship being given to a 4 year old. Also, scholarships are rarely huge discounts these days. I wouldn't tell this woman what you know but just use the info to smile inwardly when she spouts nonsense again.

Mrsfrumble · 10/01/2017 10:53

I'm another one who can't see what's wrong with a child painting themselves. It washes off! Where's the harm?

Everything else sounds a bit rubbish, but the OP isn't obliged to stay friends when they obviously have such different values.

StewieGMum · 10/01/2017 11:01

Breaches of data and child protection need to be reported. She's putting children at risk by doing so. If you don't report, you are colliding with her behaviour which could have catastrophic consequences for the children.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 10/01/2017 11:06

She's a school nurse and goes around saying things like that about the child protection list? Really? How would she know a woman in her 20's (how exactly does she know your brother's girlfriend) was on the list? She can't have been the school nuse back then.

I can't imagine any parent, let alone a school nurse, say their chikd was clever for escaping and being picked up by the police mile away.

TenaciousOne · 10/01/2017 11:11

Why couldn't she have been a nurse when OP's brothers GF was at school. If she's late 20's that's only 10 years ago. We don't know how old OP is or the friend is. If she's early thirties it's very doable. Out school nurse was just over 20 when I was 17/18. Report for data protection, even the snippets are good enough to prove that she's being extremely unprofessional.
The rest, you don't like her so leave her to it. You don't have to be friends just because you have children the same age.

user1483699375 · 10/01/2017 11:15

Sounds like a complete basket case. I knew someone like this years ago - kids are now 19 btw... - anyway - she was always telling everyone how clever her son was - how intelligent for asking a constant stream of questions (even though he never seemed to listen to the answers) . Both her kids always looked like they needed a good wash ( and I was certainly not adverse to letting my 3 sons run riot in the garden or over the park and getting thoroughly mucky). Anyway - years go by and I could see her son was headed for trouble. Last I heard GCSEs nothing great, he was considered a weirdo by the other kids and now has a drug problem. This certainly gives me no pleasure to report, no-one wants a kid to be unhappy, and I do think that she was misguided in her parenting to say the least. The thought of a 3 year old travelling alone a mile from home is for me the stuff of nightmares.

user1483699375 · 10/01/2017 11:17

And I agree with StewieG, breaches of confidentiality are important and should be reported. This isnt being a tittle tattle tell tale, little lives are at stake.

Only1scoop · 10/01/2017 11:23

Report her and stay away.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 10/01/2017 11:32

Shes a school nurse. Okay this had better be a nightmare!!!!!!
She's on another Fuckin universe. I don't know about another planet.
I mean laughing at him painting himself I suppose you could argue is one thing, and Yes It might be intelligent for a 3 year old to travel that far and navigate. However it's also very very x 1,00000 dangerous, and crossing a train line. Its only by the grace of God that a bloody train wasn't coming. Not only roads and train lines ect, but What if someone had snatched him.
About Data Protection. Regardless of whether you mention names or not. Its still breech of confidentiality.

The80sweregreat · 10/01/2017 11:37

steer clear of her, she is clearly trouble. We all meet them in life and you find that she will be the one without any friends as people cotton on as to what she is like! if she is discussing confidential matters to other people as well, then she is going to get into all kinds of mess if she blabs to people that will report her.
Best drop contact as much as you can.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 10/01/2017 11:38

My DS's prep only offers bursaries from yr3 and no scholarships despite having a pre-prep. That is in line with a lot of the other London preps.
BTW - both my DS went to the local council nursery before going on to pre-prep, it was fantastic.

BusterGonad · 10/01/2017 12:43

Apart from the data protection and not noticing her child missing I can't see the problem, to be far her child is clever to find the supermarket! Painting themselves red is funny and harms no body, the nursery stuff is nether here nor there, it's her choice and she's made it. I think you just don't like her so why try and justify it? Just stop texting chatting etc and be done with it!

BusterGonad · 10/01/2017 12:46

By the one I DO NOT condone her allowing her child to go missing, that is truly shit parenting!

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