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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I do sex work temporarily until I get somewhere to live?

39 replies

HomelessnessApproaching · 09/01/2017 21:02

I am physically disabled, and also have mental health issues. I receive housing benefit and cannot find a new landlord who will take me on. At the end of my rope, and have nowhere to go.

Out of desperation I am considering doing sex work for the next few weeks so I can approach landlords offering to pay a few months in advance. Then I can make a fresh application for housing benefit.

I really don't know where to do. I feel trapped and terrified, I have such limited money. Perhaps leaving an expensive city is what I should do but my mind is so distressed I can't even begin to focus on what village I should aim for? I have mobility and medical issues to factor in as well.

I have never done sex work before but I think I would be capable of switching off and keeping things professional. Obviously if it went wrong it could go very dangerously wrong and that's terrifying but being on the street is terrifying too.

OP posts:
paintedfences · 09/01/2017 21:04

Have you called Shelter and any other homeless charities?

If you're really considering this, do a phone sex chat-line or similar. Don't physically endanger yourself, for god's sake. Search on here, I have seen a couple of threads about this.

I'm sure someone else will be along with help. Flowers

NickMyLipple · 09/01/2017 21:05

I'm not sure sex work is the answer especially given your existing vulnerabilities. Have you contacted the CAB? Have you presented to the council as homeless?

Have you got a job?

refusetobeasheep · 09/01/2017 21:07

I'm sure you know that moving to a cheaper area is way better than suddenly becoming a sex worker. It's time to reach out for help and advice.

haveacupoftea · 09/01/2017 21:08

No! Christ. Ring Shelter, they'll help you.

AllOfTheCoffee · 09/01/2017 21:09

No.

Sex work is not for people with MH issues. They will inevitably worsen if you go down that road. I've seen many sex workers with underlying MH become worse due to the work they do.

What is your housing situation atm? Are you in the process of being evicted?

user1476869312 · 09/01/2017 21:10

While I have friends who are sex workers, I really, really wouldn't recommend that you take it up. You sound vulnerable enough as it is, and I think that you might be putting yourself in danger, given the level of your financial desperation.
Phone sex might be a good compromise option as it is the safest type of sex work available, but the money is not massive. Do seek advice from Shelter or a similar organisation.

MadHattersWineParty · 09/01/2017 21:12

You'd have to be so tough mentally and even then, it may well leave scars that never quite go away. So, no.

listsandbudgets · 09/01/2017 21:14

you are obviously vunerable. have you approached your local council and asked for help. it's not clear from your post that you are actually homeless but judging by your user name you are about to be.

standard advice if you are being evicted is not to leave until bailiffs come as you will otherwise be judged to have made yourself intentionally homeless.

as others have said call shelter or the council and they will advise you but please don't do something so risky just to get a roof over your head.

Original poster
HomelessnessApproaching · 09/01/2017 21:15

I've been dealing with my local council who keep fobbing me off because they are so over stretched.

Have been to several Cab appointments they were very nice but ultimately didn't have any fresh ideas, because I can get housing benefit - I just can't get a landlord.

OP posts:
Original poster
HomelessnessApproaching · 09/01/2017 21:16

My tenancy is up and I can't afford the rent from February 1st.

OP posts:
Twogoats · 09/01/2017 21:17

I'm so sorry for your situation Flowers

AllOfTheCoffee · 09/01/2017 21:18

Do your council not have a list of accredited private LL?

Are you on the list for social housing?

How far down the eviction route are you atm?

talksensetome · 09/01/2017 21:19

If you decide to do it, I would recommend signing up with an agency rather than picking up in the street.

That was you get a driver who knows where you are and how long you are booked for. They come to collect you and there is some reason order of who they are.

Evergreen17 · 09/01/2017 21:19

Dear OP you seem to be in such a vulnerable situation, I feel for you FlowersFlowers
I know that your main worry seems to be money/ housing but dont forget your MH is a very important part!

Please do follow advice of people here mentioning places you can contact and then see if they can help you find some work if you want to start earning some.

I know it sounds easy to say. But one step at a time.

I dont think sex working is an option for you OP, you need support

Original poster
HomelessnessApproaching · 09/01/2017 21:20

Council keep fobbing me fof and cancelling appointments, meaning I'm not even sure where I stand and I can't cope with every day moving closer to when I've to be out and not knowing. I just want to earn some fast money to feel safer.

OP posts:
WorldsSmallestPatio · 09/01/2017 21:20

You stay where you are til you are evicted and then the council will help.

Flowers
Original poster
HomelessnessApproaching · 09/01/2017 21:21

I'm at a loss. Have contacted Shelter already, it doesn't seem to be a situation they advise on.

OP posts:
PavlovianLunge · 09/01/2017 21:22

I think sex working could be incredibly damaging for you, mentally and potentially physically. Keep on at the council, and do try Shelter.

Good luck, don't give up.

Evergreen17 · 09/01/2017 21:22

I see. Yes it does seems like a very tricky situation.
And the pressure of having a deadline too.
Must be very very stressful for you OP.

you have the housing benefits but landlords dont like that, it is wrong. Maybe anyone here has suggestions? Sorry I havent been in the situation just feel for you

Original poster
HomelessnessApproaching · 09/01/2017 21:22

But will the council help if I get evicted for not paying rent?

Christ these are the questions I need answers to and they keep cancelling me. They know I have mh problems too but it doesn't seem to factor.

OP posts:
PavlovianLunge · 09/01/2017 21:23

Sorry, just seen that you've tried Shelter, I'm shocked that they couldn't help you. Please keep on at the council.

Evergreen17 · 09/01/2017 21:24

I do think you should stay were you are and pay with the HB money.
Council might help if you start gathering evidence of your efforts house searching? Emails and so on so you can show them well, I am trying but no landlord will take me.

Maybe?

AllOfTheCoffee · 09/01/2017 21:25

Evictions take months and the process hasn't even started yet. This is why the council keep cancelling on you. You're not a priority yet, but you will be once the eviction proceedings start.

Has anyone told you about discretionaty payments? You might be able to top up your housing benefit allowance for 6 months, allowing you even more time, or is that LL won't renew now that you are claiming HB? He'll still have to serve you proper notice and go through the courts, even if your contract ends.

You are also entitled to have HB paid direct to you and you pay the LL. The LL need never know you recieve HB.

Do not leave your house until made to do so by court appointed bailiffs. If anyone other than baillifs try to get you out, call the police.

bumsexatthebingo · 09/01/2017 21:28

I agree - stay put. And also make sure you are claiming any disability benefits you are entitled to.

Ouriana · 09/01/2017 21:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.