To wonder if it is normal to video a funeral service?

[CuthbertDibble]

Just curious really, went to a funeral and there was a video camera set up to record the service. I can understand that immediate family might be grieving too much to take it all in but it felt quite intrusive. Is it normal?

Was this today? A colleague's funeral was today and we got an email saying that it was being streamed and we could watch it in a seminar room (presumably for those who either couldn't get time off or felt they did not know him well enough to attend the actual service yet wanted to pay their respects.) I thought it was odd but maybe nice at the same time - couldn't decide. I really wondered about the logistics though. Can't imagine who would film it.

We considered videoing my dad's funeral, as my grandmother (his mother) was too frail and ill to come but really upset about not being there. We thought about taping it for her, but didn't do it for various reasons in the end.

It does annoy me sonetimes that we put a LOT of thought and care into planning my dad's funeral, and we will never know if he approved of it or not! He died very suddenly and had left no indications as to what he wanted. Yet he had very strong opinions about everything, especially classical music and poetry. I feel really pleased with what we put together in terms of music, readings and eulogy but it is SO frustrating that I'll never know which bits he approved of and which bits he would have wanted differently.

Because generally I was really pleased with it, and so much time and thought went into it, and it was such a lovely way to honour and say goodbye to dad, I kind of understand why it would be nice to have a video record of it. Sort of. It went so quickly and in a blur. On the other hand I can't imagine when I'd ever, ever feel like watching it, for obvious reasons.

Husband couldn't get to his dad's funeral in time (they bury/cremate within days usually) so his brother filmed everything for him. Really judgy here OP yabvu to assume why someone may want to video the service

The first time I heard of this I thought "No, that's just odd!" However when my dad died I felt that I missed a lot of the funeral because I was too upset.
Also, I didn't get to attend my mother's funeral as I had a week old baby and I live abroad. I would have liked to have been able to have seen the funeral.

I don't have problems with the ceremony being filmed if this can be done in a way that does not capture any of the guests who are not speaking.

I do have HUGE problems with the guests being taped. Grief is a private thing, and I do not believe it is useful for many people to feel that they are having to negotiate some kind of self-image on top of coping with all of the feelings involved. MIL took a lot of photos at her father's funeral, and while I didn't feel like I could say anything since she was chief mourner and most affected, I found it distressing to have a camera in my tear-soaked, red, snotty face every two minutes.

Quite normal where I'm from.

And it's often rewatched by family.

I remember my aunts son died and she had the video of the funeral and watched it religiously... it did help her a lot! As well as his siblings. It was a good funeral... I was 11 so don't remember much about the day, but from the video it was filled with stories from friends etc. And lots of laughter. She always says it's like a peak into his life outside of the family... and she feels proud he was genuinely a good person.

IMO it's not for the attendees, but usually for the family.

It wouldn't bother me if it was done with discretion, and was just filming the service NOT the attendees.

Maybe someone thought it would be good to have for young children who were not at the service, or for people who could not attend.

We have photos taken the day each of my parents were buried at the woodland burial site. They both died when my siblings and I had pretty young children. The children all came, but at various points we may have been distracted by them (which was fine and we didn't want it any other way). Also it's nice to share those photos with the grandchildren as they get older (as well as photos of them alive of course!).

It happens occasionally (I take a lot of funerals), but I only allow it if I'm asked in advance and it's arranged through the official channels so I can be sure that the family have requested it or at least agreed to it. It can be very important to family members who live abroad and aren't able to come over, but it shouldn't be a distraction to the people who are actually attending the funeral. If it makes them feel self-conscious or adds to their stress, it isn't happening.

Couldn't agree more. Everyone has different reasons and i work really closely with families before filming or photographing a funeral. There are so many reasons why people do it. For some its because family members can's make it and for others its a way of them holding on as it helps them to grieve and take things in when by themselves.

I work with a lot of celebrants and I have to say that the funeral industry is such a loving and caring Industry and that its an absolute pleasure to serve all these lovely families.

I hadn't heard of this. It is a nice thing to do for people who can't be there. I wouldn't have liked photos taken at DHs funeral though. For some reason that is creepy. And intrusive. Family must arrange the recording surely? . On the one hand I would like to have a video because it was just a hellish blur for me. But still not sure I could watch it.
It can be a nice way of commemorating someone for future generations to see.

My father-in-law's funeral was filmed - the crematorium had a permanent setup in the corners on the ceiling that filmed the front of the room, they ask each time whether the family want it. My MIL did - she has watched it several timers as some lovely speeches were made, my husband sang, and a choir that my father-in-law had been a member of sang too. She can't remember the event itself as she was too distressed and watching it makes her feel better. I don't remember whether there was announcement made to say it would be filmed, I guess they must have done as you for sure would not have noticed the setup they had.

I've also been at one that was streamed for family overseas, I think that's a fabulous thing to be able to do, for us Irish people not making a family funeral is considered to be a Very Bad Thing.

Maybe for people who couldn't be there in person?

Personally I'd hate it, but it's not my place to judge what other grieving relatives might want

That said, if it's going to be done at all, surely it's better done by the crematorium or funeral directors, rather than by some Fellini wannabe waving a camera round indiscriminately?

Our family in Thailand tape all funerals. I mean, great grandmas is a 9hr film complete with parading thru the streets. My aunts like to watch it every year.

It wouldn’t be usual in our church but then neither would videoing a wedding or Baptism. I think if it’s going to be shared with elderly or frail relatives who were forcibly absent due to age or incapacity, then certainly my God would be very happy with that arrangement even if the priest wasn’t. I can imagine parents who have lived beyond their children might find some solace in having a video too.
Not something we should pass judgement on.

Cherry I totally agree that videoing a service can be a great thing, but it wouldn't be fair on a priest to film them without their consent. Also, technically you need to pay an extra fee to any musicians (eg. organist) involved if they're going to be filmed, and ask for their permission.

I got married in 1990 and we had a video of the wedding, including the service, as well as photos. It was quite commonplace at that time.

As for bidding funerals, I can understand it if it’s for people who can’t make it.