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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to argue with guy who threatened to kick my dog

84 replies

LRA170 · 09/01/2017 19:01

AIBU to argue...my young sprocker was off his lead and bounded over to a guy and his dog barking and play bowing...obviously wanting to play. His dog was on a long retractable leash. I called my dog back but he was not listening so I ran over and yelled at him and he did stop but carried on barking. The guy said ``I'll kick him I'll kick him" I said hes not being aggressive and he said Hes tried to bite my dog twice....untrue...he was asking to play...He said I should keep the dog on a lead if I can't control him. By this time I had put his lead on him then as he walked away I said "have a nice day a**hole" Im so upset....yes maybe I should keep him on a lead but hes normally very good and is a friendly pup. 20 months old and still in training. AIBU to be trying to train my dog without a lead. We go to obedience classes and start agility this week.

OP posts:

TheWitTank · 09/01/2017 19:30

YABU. I've had this with my incredibly nervous lurcher who I keep on a lead around people and other dogs. Other people often let their dogs bound over and I shout to call them off as my dog WILL NOT tolerate other dogs. She actually won't bite -she will typically panic, and try to run away. When I say run, I mean run home, sometimes for miles across roads, fences etc. She is a big girl and very strong and has twice managed to escape the lead/coller in a blind panic and run home (once after some utter dick with three dogs thought it was hilarious to let them chase my dog round on the end of the lead and then attack her -I let her go so she could run away, she is extremely fast and would have been mauled had I held on). I end up mopping up blood where she has cut herself to bits. It infuriates me when people have no control and don't keep their dogs on a lead.

Crumbs1 · 09/01/2017 19:39

If a dog is in fields and uncontrolled local farmers are likely to shoot them. Keep,them on a lead until absolutely trained.

JW13 · 09/01/2017 19:40

I have a v v nervous rescue dog (sausage dog) who is terrified of other dogs and people when he's out of the house (but thinks he's a Doberman when the postman comes) . He's always on a lead as I'm scared he will bolt if another dog scares him in the park.

I get so annoyed when dogs come and jump on him 'wanting to play' and their owners don't even try to call them off (not the case here). As far as I know, he has never bitten another dog but I am scared that one day he will and then he'll get reported as being aggressive even though he's just minding his own business trying to survive the walk (in his eyes)!

The other dog's owner was being very unreasonable with what he said but I agree that when recall isn't guaranteed dogs should be on a lead. It's nice to see a dog owner asking the question rather than saying the terrified dog is pathetic (which happened to me at the weekend).

SoupDragon · 09/01/2017 19:48

I see you've admitted YABU but to put another perspective on the man's reaction, right now I would be in the frame of mind to kick a dog (or threaten to) if I thought it was going to bite mine. He was attacked by a dog last week to the point when I had to pick him up and the other dog was hanging off one of his back legs whilst I and another adult tried to kick him off. It was terrifying and I am going to be nervous of other dogs approaching mine for a good while!

hungryhippo90 · 09/01/2017 19:52

Sorry but he should be on a lead until he is controlled.
As much for his own safety as anyone else's.
I look after dogs from one extreme to another, one my boys loses his shit whenever he sees a dog, which I'm trying to sort out, it hasn't been too hard to handle until the time that There were uncontrolled dogs who tried to run up to him whilst yapping away.
I physically stood between the dogs, so neither of them got hurt. Otherwise he would have ripped the other dog apart.

I've also had one of my dogs kicked by someone, which I think is very U, unless it's really, really exceptional circumstances.

Please keep your dog on a lead until he listens to you.

MipMipMip · 09/01/2017 21:07

Hmm, I'm going against the tide here but dogs need real world training too. It's like learning to drive in a simulator- a bit different on the road! The dog can be absolutely perfect in class with an instant recall but you still need to practise outside of class, with other dogs and distractions around.

I actually am in a similar position to you, my very friendly dog is also 20 months. Most of the time he is very good and he certainly knows all the instructions but in the real world he gets distracted. I always say he's good 95% of the time - the other 5% he makes sure there are witnesses! But he's not going to improve unless he is put in that situation.

Disclaimer: if somewhere says on lead, he is on lead. If I see a dog on leading put him on (not always possible to see at dusk), if there are children about he goes on lead. But I have a dog, not a robot, and there will be errors occasionally.

haveacupoftea · 09/01/2017 21:13

The guy does sound aggressive but you must understand he was trying to protect his dog. You may think your dog is friendly but in all honestly you cant predict what a dog is capable of. Keeping your dog on a lead in a public place is important. It is safer for your dog and i'm glad you have learned this.

BravoPanda · 09/01/2017 21:20

My dog gets very upset by puppies and dogs younger than her (she's only two herself and quite a small delicate springer/JRT mix) so I leash her when I see puppies bounding about otherwise she ends up being pinned by them, snapping at them/howling as she has been hurt by a few bigger puppies who are over enthusiastic. She is 100% fine with older dogs and dogs the same age as her. She seems to know instinctively though if its a puppy and comes to heel to get away from it.

It's the universal dog law isnt it that if a dog close to you is leashed then you should leash yours too? Or are you one of the tossers that let their dog in any dogs face regardless of how you know they'll react?

I've had to drag a few puppies off her and shouted at their owners too. If the puppy doesn't come back on recall then it shouldn't be off the bloody lead. Especially a sprocker as they are easy as piss to recall train!!

GinIsIn · 09/01/2017 21:21

Well done for admitting YABU OP! It's for your own dog's safety as much as anything - dogs on leads are on leads for a reason - being reactive and aggressive is a distinct possibility so until your dog has the recall not to charge up to on-lead dogs, you need to keep him under close control

Original poster

LRA170 · 09/01/2017 22:25

BravoPanda.. not all obviously...even my trainer, who trains service dogs ....we've been going for over twelve months, has said hes a stubborn spaniel who because he is not treat responsive is one of the most difficult to get to respond when in full flight. We are concentrating on emergency stops and recall, he is perfect in class even with distractions but in the field is not yet 100% so if you have any advice for me Id be really grateful as I am all out of ideas here. Always had collies and had no problems with their training.

OP posts:

Original poster

LRA170 · 09/01/2017 22:33

I was of the same mind as Mip but having read some of the posts here have think Ive been a bit naive. Rock and a hard place comes to mind. So just kept him on a long line on tonights walk. He was perfect and came back every time.

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 09/01/2017 22:35

Especially a sprocker as they are easy as piss to recall train!!

Must come from their springer side because my cocker has a wiring fault whereby his ears switch off whenever his nose is on the ground.

Original poster

LRA170 · 09/01/2017 23:00

[Grin]

OP posts:

Original poster

LRA170 · 09/01/2017 23:17

Thanks to mipmip and soup.... not feeling so wretched now

OP posts:

AllOfTheCoffee · 09/01/2017 23:27

The guy was out of order to threaten your dog but in all fairness to him, you might have just been unlucky enough to be the last straw.

This happens a lot to me with my nervous collie x. Three time today, in fact, on a 90 minute walk.

If I had a £ for every time I heard "Don't worry, he/she is friendly," I'd be up by at least £20 a week. Seriously, I don't give a fuck how friendly your dog, my dog is distressed by univited interactions. She has as much right to enjoy the park as your dog. One of the twatting things actually launched itself off a wall and landed on her back today

Well done to you OP for learning from this. If only all owners had that decency I might have half a chance of helping my dog gain confidence around other dogs.

corythatwas · 09/01/2017 23:32

As pps have suggested, it might also help to be aware that "he only wants to play" is something also frequently said by owners of dogs that do bite. On both occasions when a child of mine has been bitten by a dog bounding up, the attack was prefaced by the words "he won't hurt you, he only wants to play". Fond as I am dogs, hearing those particular words always gives me a kind of ominous feeling...

StiginaGrump · 09/01/2017 23:34

I think op you are where many of us start- oh lovely dogs just playing it's all so sweet/dogs are so sweet-

After a few years when you have been bitten and scared, when your rescue has been made more reactive and when you have been bitten too you become the grumpy as hell owner.

AllOfTheCoffee · 09/01/2017 23:47

After a few years when you have been bitten and scared, when your rescue has been made more reactive and when you have been bitten too you become the grumpy as hell owner.

Yup.

Been there, doing that.

I start each walk fairly relaxed and optimisitic (especially if it's raining. I am automatically foul in the summer) by the end of each of walk I am at the point where I have to physically restrain myself when I hear the words "don't worry, he's friendly/just wants to play"

Even just writing about it is getting me irate actually

Original poster

LRA170 · 09/01/2017 23:57

Gosh...I hadn't realised just how awful things are for some of you out there ..this has definately made me see things in a very different perspective. I will be more aware and a responsible owner in future

OP posts:

FireSquirrel · 10/01/2017 00:01

Afraid YWBU. Often when people say they have a 'friendly' dog what they mean is they have an untrained, overexcited dog with no manners. Bouncing and barking in another dog's face is something many dogs (even generally sociable ones) find completely overwhelming and rude and may react defensively to. And even if your dog was one who greets calmly and politely, the other dog may have fear or aggression issues. For a fearful dog, every scary encounter they have with another dog (even if that dog was only OTT and not actually aggressive) sets their training back and makes them even more fearful next time. General rule of thumb is if a dog is on lead it's on lead for a reason, so call your dog back and check with the owner whether it's ok to approach or not.

The man was also unreasonable for threatening to kick your dog, though he may well have just been trying to protect his dog or even prevent a fight if his dog is reactive. If an unknown dog approached one of my client's fear reactive dogs I wouldn't kick it but I'd certainly do everything I could to shoo it away.

FireSquirrel · 10/01/2017 00:05

Thankyou OP for taking everyone's comments on board and being so reasonable rather than getting defensive, that's refreshing to see on here :)

kali110 · 10/01/2017 00:11

The guy was def u to threaten to kick your dog, that is vile if it wasn't being aggressive ( he said he tried to bite , are you sure it didn't try to nip him? Still wouldn't think the dog would deserve a kicking for nipping but may explain his attitude if it did) however if you know the dog doesn't have perfect recall yet then you need to keep it on a leash until it does.
It sounds like you're trying op, you'll get there!

Original poster

LRA170 · 10/01/2017 00:12

Firesquirrel...well I did ask didnt I...

OP posts:

AstridLevinson · 10/01/2017 00:15

Thank you OP for accepting YABU. Sadly we are one of the group who now has a reactive dog due to owners having no control. Thankfully where we are everyone keeps dog on lead as farmers will shoot if they chase livestock. However if we have gone to the beach or other parks thats when Probs have occurred.

GilMartin · 10/01/2017 02:25

I don't like people threatening violence towards animals, but can understand why the man responded as he did.

Twice I've fallen off my bike when having to swerve out of control and barking dogs who've come running towards me when on a cycle path. The owners have seemed unconcerned and assured me were 'only being friendly' and 'only playing' as I lay on the ground.

I wouldn't deliberately set out to hurt the dog, but next time I'm going to just keep going, sound the bell and hope the dog gets out the way. If the owners can't be arsed to either train the dog or keep it on a lead, I'm not risking injury or damaging my bike.

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