WIBU to ignore this woman? Child's birthday party related

[RockingChairRockingChair]

It's my DD's 6th birthday party next Saturday. Invites went out end of Nov. Just before Christmas holidays, 20 people had confirmed they were coming. Over the holidays I sorted out all the party bags. Four more children (their parents rather) had not confirmed whether or not they were coming. So on Monday I texted the parents to tell them I will be confirming final numbers on Tuesday and making payment and could they let me know asap if their children are coming. Two confirmed immediately. One didn't. I confirmed and paid on Tuesday assuming the non-responder's 2 children were not coming. On Friday she texts me saying please can I add her 2 boys. WIBU to ignore her? I don't think the venue would have a problem adding two more children but I can't be bothered to do this as I think she has been a bit rude not responding to the initial invite and subsequent reminder. I might end up doing it though because her boys are lovely, sweet children who are good friends with DD.

What do you all think? Should I do it for the sake of the boys?

Of course you should let them come. They have no control here. Why are you thinking of punishing them and your daughter to make a point to their mum?

It could,have been that she or one of the children were ill or any number of reasons not to have replied sooner. If she has form for this then ignore her, but if it's a genuine mistake then add the boys.

I know non-responses to a party invitation can be a real PITA when you're trying to confirm numbers with a venue and sort out things like party bags. And some people do take the piss. But also you don't know what's going on in people's lives which mean that what might seem like a simple RSVP just becomes unmanageable. I remember (quietly) frothing once about a parent who didn't respond to an invitation. I didn't know the child very well and had never met either parent. Then it turned out when they did finally get around to replying the mum had been in hospital having her DC5 who was 12 weeks premature. I know some people just are disorganised of course but also life events just take over.

One can never be sure what is going on in other people's lives. Sometimes life just becomes too much and certain things might be pushed to the back. Give benefit of the doubt. Do not deprive your child of the return invitations and do not deprive her kids of an afternoon's fun with friends.

Ime you get at least two who don't turn up even when they know it's a cost per head. I'm sure venue will be fine with it, I'd tell them they can come.

Don't ignore her that's rude

Either add her boys or text back saying sorry it's too late

Timing was totally ok. Plus you did give people reminders and you gave her in particular plenty of time to get back to you.
In that way YANBU to be pissed off and to don't feel like making an effort.

Unfortunately, in the RL world, people don't seem to think that B'day parties are something important and that it is totally ok to answer either right at the last minutes, OR say you are coming and then say no on the day because something better has cropped up.
Telling her that her dcs can still come, esp as your dd is good friends with them, is the 'easy' way out. No ill feelings on her side.
Standing your round and saying 'well I'm really sorry but everything is booked now as per my last message' is another way.
You could also say ok this time but if she acts like this again, to tell her that no unfortunately, everything is booked now.
Not answering will create a hell of a lot of issues, incl the fact that you might still see said children coming!

You all speak a lot of sense. I will add the children tomorrow when I speak to the venue. The boys will be happy. DD will be happy. Win win. Thanks again!

She did ignore the Monday message and then on the Friday oh we've nothing better on after all will you add them now. Yes we've all got busy lives but 10 seconds to reply isn't much

Op you have confirmed numbers and paid now so I would reply with "sorry x but as I said in my message Monday I had to confirm numbers and pay on Tuesday so it's too late"

I'd text back something like "really sorry but it's too late now, as I said I needed to know by Tuesday final numbers.
Cannot stand it when people are too rude/can't be arsed/whatever to reply to birthday party invites.
Far too many times I've had to pay for no shows at parties when people say they're coming, or had to wait about for people to say whether or not they can come.
Takes seconds to text.

Add them on.

Can I ask why the invites were handed out so early?

I would text back and say " Sorry but as my Monday message said I had to confirm on Tuesday and I didn't hear from you so it's too late now"

Yes people say but what if she couldn't reply because she was busy/ the cat died/ her fingers were cut off etc. We all have busy lives, we all have things on our mind and 3 minutes out of your day to text " x and x would love to come" really isn't difficult.

100 - my DD had a birthday party yesterday. I gave the invitations out at the end of November. Mainly because December is a ridiculously busy month for me and for lots of people. It was one thing I could cross off my to-do list before December madness descended.

I would add them but send a text today saying you will have to check with the venue and will let her know tomorrow. It might make her better at replying in future.

I will confess I once turned up at a party with DD that I'd not RSVP'd to (I'd told DD to confirm with the birthday girl, and she swore blind she had done so but I shouldn't have left it to the children so my fault entirely!) the mum was OK (though clearly not happy!) about it and it was soft play so they added her to the numbers - I offered to pay but she refused. I was pretty mortified and never did it again. Lost count of the people who didn't RSVP to my DC's parties over the years though!!

It's an ongoing problem unfortunately! Often when I did ring to reply, the parent would be pleasantly surprised that someone had actually bothered!