WIBU to seriously consider adopting as a single parent?

[PleasantPheasant]

I'm almost 30, have wanted children for as long as I can remember. When I was at school I remember we had to imagine the family we would want and even then I wrote that I would adopt children and be a single parent.
I have never had a serious relationship, I'm just not that interested. I wouldn't rule it out if the right person came along of course but if the right person came along it shouldn't matter if I already had children.
I work with children and teenagers with SN and understand there are children with SN who need families. I thought a lot about fostering and would still consider it but I really would like to have my "own" children.
Am I being completely naive? Would there be a problem in that I haven't tried to have biological children so don't know whether or not I can? I heard it doesn't matter if you are single and adopting but surely the LAs prefer couples?
I think there is so much I could give to children who need extra care due to SN and/or issues they will have through being removed from their families and going through the system... but maybe they deserve better than a single woman who isn't exactly rich. It will be a struggle just to get to a place where I have an appropriate home and spare room but I'm confident I can do it hopefully within the next year.

Ignoring lovelearning's crap.

A single colleague adopted a 6 year old a while ago. It's going brilliantly and new Mum and child are very happy.

I know to people that have adopted as single parents.
One a friend went into with her eyes wide open and adopted a little boy who had lots of issues and behaviour problems and has made a great success of it and is a fab mum and the boy has come on in leaps and bounds.
My sister in law who decided she wanted a child, didn't really think it through but must have obvously done enought to get through the process. She adopted a lovely little boy who was fostered straight from birth, no behaviour issues. She is never away from inlaws, gets them to babysit whenever she can, they have him about 4 nights a week, they pick him up and take him to school every day, they both have tea at my inlaws and leave about 8pm to go home. The result is now a very confused little boy who does not know if he is coming or going or were his home is and it's heartbreaking to see. He is also tired out as he is at inlaws for 7 every morning and does not leave till 8 at night.
We end up having round at ours most weekends so he can play with his cousin (our Ds) and have some fun and give DHs parents a break. His mum won't do play dates or kids activities
I am not saying for one minute he would have been better off in care and he is loved just more by his grandparents and us then his very selfish mum who decided one day she should have a kid. She is now on about adopting number two, DH has said he will have to step in and raise concerns with social services if she does.
You however sound like my friend who thought it through and knew what she was getting in to x x

Raggydolly, that is so sad :(

I'm afraid I don't know much about the process, but has there been any follow up with SS re her first adoption?

There was but just the odd visit and of course she was the model mum for all of an hour.
DH and I could not believe she got through the process as she was also in loads of debt. (We think inlaws may have taken most of this on). Unfortunately inlaws can not say no to her.

She got three friend to stand as references (she asked us we said no)
I could never get my head round that it is meant to be hard to adopt but she just seems to sail through

I suppose you could say we are not helping having our nephew round at the weekend but it just breaks my heart that he never gets to play with other kids. If he is at inlaws they are dragging him round shops, cafes or round to their older friends. If he is with his mum he just gets chucked a few toys or gets put in front of a DVD while she plays on her mobile on the sofa.

My DH actually contacted social services while the adoption was going through after nephew had been placed with her for 3 months telling them the issues and suggested they do some on the spot visits but they just said oh we will take what you say on board. Then they didn't do anything.

Sorry I have totally hijacked this thread. Apologies

That's absolutely shocking. Poor little boy. Sounds to me like you're doing what you can. Good for you.

Sounds like you would be a brilliant parent. Think about the support network you would have though , and the practicalities of going back to work, school runs, childcare, etc. it really is 24/7. Good luck.

Thank you all for sharing your experiences and knowledge. I'm mainly worried about it being difficult to be approved due to being single and while I think it is absolutely amazing that people are able to adopt sibling groups and completely necessary, I really don't think I would manage a first child and second child at the same time so I'm worried that I would be pressured to do that as a less sought after adopter.
The comments about having a support system are valid of course, I think that's true whether you're planning to adopt or start a biological family!
I do worry about work though in general with starting a family. I love my work and have no idea how I'd survive if I had to take more time off which is entirely possible as I'm aware it can be much more difficult or impossible to use childcare for adopted children. But I'm a believer of making it work. People have children all the time and make it work. I definitely need to be more stable financially in order to provide a stable home and I have no idea how people manage that these days but hopefully in a couple of years I will be back to tell you I have finally met my children and start this wonderful journey...