Trouble with DH about post baby feelings

[mummyof2pr]

Repost as I'm realising my initial post name "post baby" wasn't really helpful as to what issue is and want advice and help!

I am a stay at home mum of 2 kids, one being 4 months and the other being 2 years old. My husband constantly yells at me because I am always saying I'm exhausted, and says that because I always say I'm exhausted there must be something wrong with me. We also have only been intimate a few times since the birth of our second child, I just haven't felt any desire to be. Still he consistently asks everyday, and will even try to touch me when I say to stop. Then when I get upset he yells at me and says I need to go talk to someone because these things aren't normal. I thought that both of these things are normal post baby experiences, the exhaustion especially with 2 children and taking care of all household chores and errands. Has anyone else experienced this or am I as messed up as my husband says?

He's abusive, you need to get you and your dcs away from him. Call women's aid and stay safe.

Oh op l am so sorry for you....please do not underestimate how serious this is.....
Firstly your responses are totally normal and to be expected with a 4 month old alone.

Secondly the only response acceptable from him, to you not feeling like sex is 'OK, when you are ready is fine' That is a loving husband.

The aggresion is really worrying and very likely to escalate sadly as new baby/no sex is a potential trigger for abusive men.....please don't think that when he has not been like this pre dcs, he cannot be abusive post dcs...it happens.

Please call womans Aid, get good legal advice and citicenship advice, find out fast what your options are. Do not put yourself in harms way or trust him...kicking or punching holes in doors is seriously scary behavior and you have to keep you and your dcs safe.

l wish you good luck and lots of strength op

Oh gosh, op. Stay safe.

Well done for talking to your mum, you do not have to put up with his shit.

Glad your mum has been able to help. Now, don't waste any time or energy trying to get this abusive shit to mend his ways/seek help. Get on to Women's Aid and a good lawyer to sort out your rights - I appreciate things are more complicated for you but there is help out there for women being abused by their partners. Best wishes.

Definitely call women's aid and get his behaviour logged.

Be careful about leaving - challenging his control is the most dangerous time. Get your ducks in a row - copies of financial statements etc.

See a solicitor experienced in international law and look into your rights under coercive control legislation.

Call Women's Aid.
See a solicitor.
Document all instances of domestic abuse.
Let your mum help you as much as she can.
Know that being exhausted with a 4 month old and a toddler IS normal. Screaming at your wife because she is exhausted is NOT normal.

Fuck me I am angry for you OP.

I would also get the relevant travel documents for your children sent as well. If you are worried about him seeing them you can arrange for the post office to keep all your mail and you go and collect it when it is safe to do so.

I would go to the US to be honest to be with your family.

Yeah, feeling exhausted is totally normal. Your arsehole DH isn't normal though.

He's awful
If you go home to the us i doubt he will make a custody issue of it. I think you're best with your family tbh.