I'm so lucky

[yesichangedmynameforthis]

Next time my mil points out how lucky I am that I married someone who can make the dinner wibu to say that dh is also lucky to have married someone that can pay half the bills?

It's gotten worse since I've been on maternity leave, I think she thought I would turn into a 1950s housewife overnight. When I fancy making the dinner, then I do. There's really no need as dh is really the one in charge of food, he gets in at 4.30pm and enjoys cooking and meal planning.
She also goes on about how good he is with the baby and how lucky I am that he takes the baby

I have a mixture - my mum worked but was then at home after having kids and my dad was the breadwinner and did sod all on the home front. My mum in law always worked so isn't all gushy over men who do the basics. I guess my point is I don't feel lucky that my husband does that stuff but I do feel lucky to have been born into a more enlightened generation. And, annoying as those comments are, I do get where they are coming from when an older woman says it..

My parents were very traditional when I was born - Dad worked long hours, Mum stayed at home with me.

However, Mum died right before my children were born, and apart from the fact that DH was a SAHD for 2 hours, my Dad has been fantastic, and has been changing nappies and doing feeds from the very start, esp. with DD2, who he took for 2 days a week when DH started his PhD.

If my parents met today, I think my Mum would have stayed at work and my Dad been the SAHD. He loves babies and is brilliant with them.

I get this from MIL lots- "aren't you lucky to be with someone like DH?". Well yeah, but he's pretty lucky too!

That's lovely, Ican'teven. My mum always says my dad's better with my kids than he was with his own as he's mellowed..

Annabel7 What's particularly fun about it is that my children openly assume that Mummies earn the money and Daddies and Grandads look after the babies. #fightthepatriarchy (or rather, make the patriarchy change nappies)

That's brilliant. Kids believe what they see. My husband grew up thinking mums work and men run round making cups of tea for them. Wasn't my experience growing up but I do benefit from his outlook! Guess that's part of what drew me to him. Your dad sounds like a gem.

My mum and my mil were both single parents so luckily I don't get this. My dp's gran waits on her dp hand and foot even when she's ill and hardly gets to see her family because he's the one who drives and he can't be bothered. Surprisingly she expects my dp to pull his weight and look after the kids (which he does).

I've just endured a visit from grand MIL. She nearly keeled over and died when she discovered my dh had done some (basic) baking in honour of her visit. "isn't he good with the baby" was definitely the phrase of the day. If she ever found out dh does his own ironing I think she'd hire a hit man on me. I also discovered that she wears her knickers back to front as they're comfier that way apparently

Still surprisingly common attitude. When I started doing some weekend teaching when DS was already about 1, I remember people being shocked and asking where my baby was.....errrrr at home with his other parent. Someone (who knew us reasonably well) even asked me if my mother was going to come to babysit (we lived abroad at the time so this would have been a 8 hour trip for her).

It's common on here, too, as evinced by the hundreds of threads were female OP's are told to 'just whip something' up for anyone who imposes themselves on the family, no matter what her circumstance.

I was brought up to believe my place was to serve a man.

We would call it "surrendered wife" nowadays.

My mother never worked. My father did nothing around he house. My mother had no bank account, made no big decisions, didn't drive.
I was taught how to polish, clean and iron men's shirts, university was discouraged, I was taught that a man's view was better, more informed, and to be trusted more than a woman's voice.

I shudder at the role model my mother provided for me, it did me a massive disservice in my early adult life.

My inlaws were very much like this. I was expected to feel grateful for dh doing anything around the house. I just think it was so ingrained in DMil, married to a narcissistic misogynist, that she simply thought that's how life was. He didn't lift a finger in the house and she regularly used to complain about running round after him whilst never, ever doing anything to change it.

My MIL who is in her 70s is suddenly really mellow. She however used to always go on about how much my husband done. Infact she was positively huffy when he was doing the ironing one day. I only asked her once what it was like to give up work till her kids were young adults and she never got funny again. I have nothing against anyones ways of running a home and who does what if it works for them.