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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to email the school!

66 replies

DeadZed · 05/01/2017 14:02

DD1 has again lost her PE kit. I think (she says) it has been left in a classroom at some point. DD2 has also lost her PE kit, same story, left somewhere on school property never to be seen again.

So I am cross with DD1 as this is the fourth !! PE kit we have had to replace in three years of school. And DD2 has done the same. So yes I am cross with the girls but AIBU to think the school is partly at fault? I am wondering how their lost property system works if we cannot ever get anything back again.

I told dd1 I am going to email the school. She is horrified because she knows she is at fault. I can't afford another full kit again.

DD2 is very laid back which is also fueling my fire!

OP posts:
gillybeanz · 05/01/2017 14:31

YABU it's your job to make sure they bring it home and to find out how their lost property system works.
On friday if they don't bring it home, buy some more with their pocket money and see how quickly they arrive home in future.
Ask school about lost property.

CharlieDimmocksbosoms · 05/01/2017 14:33

Secondary school lost property usually keep stuff over a school year and then clear it out in July. It is the students responsibility to check through it if they are missing something. A lot of kids are reluctant to paw through a load of sweaty p-e kits to find their lost belongings until the alternative is worse. I.e. Paying for another!!!!

bigbluebus · 05/01/2017 14:35

The one time DS lost his PE kit at Secondary school and swore blind he had looked everywhere to no avail, it turned up exactly where he had left it - in the History Classroom. The school had a system where all lost property was collected together and displayed in the hall at breaktime. He looked in lost property the next day and it wasnt there - as seemingly it doesnt get handed in straight away. Telling him he was paying to replace the one week old kit including football boots certainly focussed his mind in retracing his steps from the day he had lost it!

diddl · 05/01/2017 14:36

One daughter has lost four kits & the other three were just replaced?

My goodness-no wonder she takes no care if stuff is replaced at little or no effort to her!

No way could my parents have done this so losing stuff just wasn't an option.

GruochMacAlpin · 05/01/2017 14:36

Zed my Mum also despaired with my sister! Smile

I'm assuming all the kit is labelled to within an inch of its life?

Has she actually checked in the lost property box?

dingit · 05/01/2017 14:38

Ds left his shoes accidentally in PE changing rooms. They vanished over weekend. I sent him to school in his trainers for a week as I certainly wasn't buying new ones. He said he looked, then I emailed hoy. In the end his friend found them, the cleaner had put them high up on lockers, ds was too short to see them. Why the cleaner did that god only knows.

Back in primary school, he lost his kit, in the end I went in cloakroom and found it on next peg to hisGrin

bumsexatthebingo · 05/01/2017 14:41

If it's anything like our schools lost property you are just encouraged to take something if you can't find your child's stuff (which is why you can never find your child's stuff). Since your kids are constantly leaving their stuff though, assuming there are no sn which contribute to this and it's just carelessness, I'd be tempted to have them contribute to the new stuff from their pocket money to see if that encourages them to take more care.

dollydaydream114 · 05/01/2017 14:42

It isn't the school's fault.

If your daughter leaves her PE kit somewhere and someone hands it in to lost property, then fine, she can go and get it back. That is the 'system' of lost property. But if she leaves it somewhere and it gets accidentally chucked away or another kid nicks it or it gets mixed up with other kids' stuff, or it's just hanging up in a cloakroom somewhere and people assume she knows it's there, what exactly is the school supposed to do? Go on a daily trawl for potentially abandoned hockey socks and gym tops on the off chance that there's anything there?

My guess is that there is a perfectly adequate 'system' for lost property but it involves the child making some sort of effort to go out of their way to access it, and they can't be bothered/are too embarrassed/are scared of whoever oversees it/don't know where they're meant to go or some other such explanation. I was a complete wimp about that sort of thing when I was at school and would put stuff like that off for months. God knows why, but I don't actually think it's that unusual!

ConferencePear · 05/01/2017 14:43

I think it's worth asking your kids to go back to where the lost property is stored several times. When I was teaching some of the kids used to race to the lost property box when there was no chance of the stuff getting there before they did.

AldrinJustice · 05/01/2017 14:45

Don't give her any expensive trainers, bog standard unbranded trainers if she loses the kit again

Ditsyprint40 · 05/01/2017 14:45

With around 200 kids per year group, it is a nightmare when they lose their kit. And they often don't lose it as a whole! We have a fairly good system with lost property but there are still kids who lose kit and never find it again. Maybe they lose it on the way home from school? It's in a friend's locker? In a bush?!

Have they checked every single classroom? The receptionist? Wherever lost property is? With their form tutor?

ATailofTwoKitties · 05/01/2017 14:49

At DS's school, the lost property occupied nearly a whole room. You opened the door, and it avalanched sweatily towards you.

Allegedly, the whole lot then gets chucked out once a year, but I found his Year 8 sweater last term. He was just finishing 6th form at the time, so god knows where it had been meanwhile.

DailyFail1 · 05/01/2017 14:50

You need to take both girls into school and raise this with the PE teacher or similar in front of them - ask to see lost property, and make the girls look through it. I think they need to be embarrassed a little because losing 7 kits between them is ridiculous.

Original poster
DeadZed · 05/01/2017 14:52

I did think I was being a little unreasonable but I am so mad at DD1. She is still paying off the last lost kit but will be paying for the next.

I have tried to help her remember, I bought her a much larger school bag so it wouldn't be left anywhere. I text her on the days she has pe to make sure it doesn't get left anywhere. I'm not sure there is more I can do apart from punish dd. I think a period without her phone may help her keep track of things better . . .

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 05/01/2017 14:53

My ds1 was unable to ever find anything he'd lost in lost property. Until he had to start funding replacements - then suddenly, stuff started turning up. Hmm

In most schools things found lying around make there way to lost property in the course of a few days - but it is up to you/your child to go search lost property for it. Stuff does get stolen too, of course, but judging by how much lost property is disposed of at the end of the school year, most of what goes missing is not claimed.

It might also be worth asking if the PE department has their own mini lost property - some do.

JanuaryIsTheNewMonday · 05/01/2017 14:53

Why are you emailing the school?

It is your daughter who has lost it - she needs to be a bit more diligent at not doing so in the future?

Mouseinahole · 05/01/2017 14:55

Name on outside of Kit in indelible ink?

dibbley · 05/01/2017 14:57

My dc's regularly lost P.E kits, bags, pencil cases etc, but at Secondary you just have to suck it up unfortunately. No point emailing - you won't change anything.
Make sure that everything is clearly named and you may get some stuff back.

Ditsyprint40 · 05/01/2017 14:58

Do the kids get a sanction if they fail to brjng kit to lesson?

TheNameIsBarbara · 05/01/2017 14:59

I would be livid but that's because a full new pe kit here costs about £90. I really hammered home how expensive this was and how if lost we couldn't afford to replace it. Luckily it seems to have sunk in with no lost kit so far.

I've labelled my DC's kit in marker pen and even said if any of it goes missing I'll go in and look myself. That tends to embarrass them enough to at least ask about lost property.

I would be cancelling phone/wifi usage until they can start looking after their kits better. Why should they be allowed all the benefits of being a teen and having phones and wifi when they then want to have no responsibilities of looking after their personal belongings. One piece of kit going missing I could handle but several full kits, I would be full on angry at that.

MrsStinkey · 05/01/2017 15:01

At first I thought these were primary school aged children in which case I may be a bit annoyed with the school of they'd lost that amount of kits but reading further I understand these are high school aged children!
It's definitely not the school's fault and I think your DD's need to learn to be responsible for their own things.
Do they have Christmas money, or saved pocket money? If it was my DD's they'd be replacing their own kit out of that if so. Maybe it'll be a lesson better learnt that way?
Not your fault either though OP I should add. You can't be holding their hand all the way through their lives and it looks like you try your utmost to help them. At some point they'll need to learn to be responsible for themselves though so maybe this will be a step towards that.

TheNameIsBarbara · 05/01/2017 15:03

And I recognise that I have totally jinxed myself and I'm sure one of my DC will now come home and tell me that they have lost their kit Grin

LizB62A · 05/01/2017 15:05

I'd check with the school anyway
When my son was at junior school, if he came home without anything I'd ask and they'd say it hadn't been found (we weren't allowed to look at the lost property)
They then put all the lost property out on the last day of term.
More than half of it was labelled and the items he'd lost were there even though they said they weren't, so clearly they never bothered checking .....

Serin · 05/01/2017 15:20

At our DC's school (1800 pupils), the children have to leave their bags on trolleys outside the main hall or dining room. Twice DS2 has returned to collect his bag and it wasn't there.

I was lamenting this at work and was horrified when a colleague said the same thing happened to her son but she just told him to go and nick someone else's. Hmm
As long as we have parents with this attitude we will have PE kits that go missing.

Serin · 05/01/2017 15:23

At DNephew's school, the kids have their surnames printed onto the back of their PE tops, like footballers do!

Can't steal them Smile