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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think fake "niceness" from shop assistants cringey....

40 replies

tinglyfing · 04/01/2017 21:40

Just that really.
I'm ship today and the woman who served me had clearly had scripted greetings to relay along lines of "Thank you for your purchase have a lovely afternoon". She barely made eye contact with me and obviously couldn't be arsed with it. Cringey for them and the customer? 😕

OP posts:
tinglyfing · 04/01/2017 21:40

In shop!

OP posts:
daquee101 · 04/01/2017 21:42

Yes I was in Russell and Bromley this eve and she kept calling me darling in every sentence. Mind you, DS was putting snack crumbs all over the sofa in there so I can cut her some slack.

HecateAntaia · 04/01/2017 21:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nancy75 · 04/01/2017 21:46

I think it's very unlikely that Russell & Bromley tell their staff to call customers darling!

GooodMythicalMorning · 04/01/2017 21:50

I hope my customers aren't put off by my niceness. I'm just genuinely a friendly person.

tinglyfing · 04/01/2017 21:53

I love genuine goood! I just mean the obviously forced repeating of scripted banter. Makes me head tilt for the poor staff who have to churn it out all day....

OP posts:
StrawberrySquash · 04/01/2017 21:54

Genuine niceness and conversation is nice. Fake stuff delivered unconvincingly, I'd rather you didn't bother. It's embarrassing. Just do the necessary please and thank you and that's fine.

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 04/01/2017 21:54

Really? Clearly you're not shopping in my area.

Round here the shop assistants treat you like scum. You ve the shop knowing you're worthless.

And don't get me started on the haunted look they give you when you ask for a bag.

DailyFaily · 04/01/2017 21:54

Yeah, I agree, there's definitely a drive in some shops to enforce conversation with the customer. The sales assistants in Next always now ask me if I've got much more shopping to do. There are some people who chat on with customers naturally because that's in their nature and that's fine and lovely, but when they're quite obviously just saying it because they've been told to then I agree it's uncomfortable and I just feel bad for them (and me!). The worst example is our corner shop where the assistants have started doing this - I remember once having to engage in conversation about my day and the products I was buying and I just wanted to say 'mate, it's 10pm, I've just finished work, and I'm buying a £5 bottle of wine, do I strike you as a person who wants to chat?''

Autumnchill · 04/01/2017 21:55

Aaaarrrgghh, our Mint Velvet girl is like this! Doesn't matter what I'm wearing she always says 'oh I've got that, isn't it lovely'. My SIL says she says the same thing to her as well.

daquee101 · 04/01/2017 21:59

Yeah I don't think they do either! She loved everything I was wearing (hmm) and loved DS being messy etc etc. Came away with some nice heels though , easiest sale of the century

ems137 · 04/01/2017 22:04

I know it's cringey but having worked in some of these stores you really do have to do "a script". I remember one store was ridiculous, we had to ask about 5 questions and management would observe people and if they didn't do it they got formal warnings Shock

treaclesoda · 04/01/2017 22:07

Yes, I hate this. Sainsburys are the worst for it, I think they must be obliged to pick out some of the items you're buying and quiz you about them. It's hideous.

I always smile politely and play along because I know they're being forced to do it, but I just hate it. Having a teenage boy comment on my handbag as he desperately searched for something to say was a low point. I felt so sorry for him.

DeleteOrDecay · 04/01/2017 22:10

I used to work in a supermarket and yes we get 'made' to do it. I ended up with a disciplinary because I wasn't making conversation with customers who clearly just wanted to pay for their shopping and leave (was happy to talk to those who were willing though). I hated it, the company banged on about encouraging us all to express our individuality, whilst in the same breath treated us all like robots. Very demoralising, I left in the end.

Don't blame the shop assistants, they probably hate it just as much as you but their jobs are on the line if they refuse to 'follow procedure'.

yolofish · 04/01/2017 22:13

I like it when they are nice, was in Lush with the DDs the other day and the ladies in there could not have been more helpful and friendly - not pushy, just really liked their products. We all came out giving them a 5* review.

Jellybean83 · 04/01/2017 22:14

It's the dead behind the eyes look and the monotone, bored sounding 'do you have much more shopping today' or 'how has your day been' that I find cringingly funny, they so obviously don't give a flying fuck but have to ask it anyway, it's just so silly forcing people to do that. I feel so awkward answering I don't really want to tell them anymore than they want to hear it.

Fisforyou · 04/01/2017 22:15

I find it very patronising especially when another woman in a shop calls you sweet heart 🙁

BackforGood · 04/01/2017 22:20

Im quite partial to a friendly chat or comment, but agree with you op i cant stand the scripted nonsense... .....

When you get to the front of the queue in the bank "Thankyou for waiting"

or

From a cold caller "and how are you today"

grrrrrr

Oysterbabe · 04/01/2017 22:22

It's when they compliment your purchases.

"Oh these are nice"
They're black socks.

Ditsyprint40 · 04/01/2017 22:33

Ditto the PP about Next - they always say 'have you got much more shopping to do'.

It really puts me off going into certain stores. Or in fact any store where someone is loitering at the door with a fake smile. I don't want to chat!

Mainly for this reason I avoid supermarkets checkouts and always use self serve.

SerialReJoiner · 04/01/2017 22:40

I clearly don't go shopping often enough - never really noticed scripted conversation. I do enjoy being friendly with cashiers and such, though. I've been on the other side of that counter and you're often treated like crap or as an invisible nothing. It makes me happy to see someone perk up and be treated like a real human being. Just a few sentences is all it takes.

DeleteOrDecay · 04/01/2017 22:45

As someone who used to work in retail I hate the forced interaction too, I feel like I'm having to force a reply to avoid being rude.

It's the people over at head office who make these rules unfortunately. The ones who haven't set foot on a shop floor in yonks and have clearly forgotten what it's like.

One hopes that some of them are reading this thread and taking note. I'm sure they would hate to know that this sort of customer service can actually drive customers awayWink

JollyHockeyGit · 04/01/2017 22:58

I work in a high street store and love chit chat with customers, but I think I'm pretty good at gauging when people want to chat and when they just don't. We have no script, we're encouraged to be ourselves. I have a colleague who sometimes sounds like she's scripted I think, but she's genuinely just a nice, friendly person who actually does want you to have a nice day.

BaldricksTrousers · 04/01/2017 23:10

Miserable lot you are Grin

I worked retail for over ten years and know that the job can be pure torture occasionally....and managers can often have silly demands about scripts and quotas and all sorts.

We used to have to offer the store credithat card and be declined three times before giving up. Do you know how annoying that is? But we'd get bollocked if we didn't do it.

melj1213 · 04/01/2017 23:25

I work in retail and we are instructed to make conversation, and if a mystery shopper comes in and we don't follow the script, say hello, would they like bags, do they need a hand packing, make chit chat (usually about the weather or things on the checkout conveyor), give them their total, giving change and wishing them a good day all with a smile then we get marked down and a rollocking off the manager ... but then we get attitude off customers when we are doing just that and no choice but to do it. Also, sometimes, 8 hours into a 10 hour shift, I just want a little social interaction that isn't one of those questions, maybe I have been meaning to try that new yoghurt brand I've just scanned through for you and when I ask your opinion of it I genuinely want to know. Or when I scan a clothes item through, when I say I was looking at it earlier, and trying to resist buying it, even if it is in the sale I am being genuine about it because I am praying that there will still be one left in my size at the end of my shift.

People like to think that when they don't want to chat they are polite about it, but not everyone is. I have had customers hold up their hand and say "Don't talk to me" as soon as I've said "Good morning,". I've had queueing customers kick off at me because a customer changed their mind about an expensive item which required a supervisor key to void off and they've had to wait, despite the fact I hate it as much as they do. I've had customers entirely ignore me, even going as far as to drop their money on the checkout rather than put it in my hand - but if I did the same then they'd report me for being rude. I've had (perfectly able) customers accept help to pack their shopping and then stood back and done nothing but criticise my packing as I packed their months worth of shopping. Working on the self scan machines I've had people whistle at me, click their fingers, grab me as I'm walking past, swear at me for not being quick enough getting to them when I've had three other issues to deal with, call me a jobsworth for reminding them that they haven't paid for the 6 carrier bags they've tried to walk out with, have a tantrum because the macjine they used was cash only "but it isn't clear" despite it saying on the sign, on the screen, asking you for confirmation and the card machine being covered up.

So if I'm a little dead behind the eyes when I ask you how you are, perhaps I've just had all those people turn up already that day and I just want to get through the last few hours of my shift so I can go home and stop pretending that all those insults and displays of rudeness don't affect me and let my customer service smile slip ... for the 12 hours betwen my shifts at least.