...to think I might be severely depressed

[glitterfairydust]

2016 was difficult with severe anxiety and then some depression. I had some time under the crisis team on a few occasions.

Things have not been at crisis point for about a month but I feel really low

I am surviving by avoiding people and I've put on so much weight. I can't be bothered to wash every day and can't bear to look in the mirror.

I know I need to see the GP again but the effort feels massive. I am worried about myself but not strong enough to hear there is nothing anyone can do

Have you had any contact with services? Is there a crisis line you can ring? They can organise home visits and a medication review for you.
Hope you feel better soon.

Sorry, you've said you have spoken to crisis, ring them again, it's what they're for.
(apologies for the muddle, things a little stressed here too)!

Unfortunately, a lot of depression is cyclical. You're in that dark place now where things seem hopeless. Everything seems too difficult; I've been there myself.
If you can get to the Gp, at least your medication can be changed/increased so that you can start to feel a bit better. My sympathies to you, it's horrible I know.

Hello Glitter. I've PM'd you.

Sounds really horrible, you have my sympathy.
As a pp said, depression is cyclical, this means it WILL get better, you will have energy, and pleasure and meaning in your life again.
Please try to get to gp, or contact the crisis team. Act as if you are an ill child that you are trying to do your best for, Or imagine you are making the appointment for someone that you love, and want to help. Both are tricks that worked for me in the grip of depression.

All the best with this x

Thank you all

I have had really bad experiences with the MH teams - as in developed a fear of them sort of bad...

I know I need help - my GP is supportive but he's at a loss and frustrated by the attitude towards me from MH and is trying to get me a referral out of area... been going on 3-4 months...

I suffer badly with depression and anxiety.

Are there any baby steps you can take? Committing to washing/showering each or every other day? Making one necessary phone call? Go for a walk round the block each day? Just something that is just about achievable but will make you feel you can give yourself a pat on the back. It starts with small steps. You can do this while you are awaiting professional help.

Do you take any dietary supplements? These help me a great deal. Omega 3, magnesium, vit D, B vitamins, plus general multivitamin. Plus lots of water. Don't underestimate biochemistry when it comes to depression.

Can you tackle your living environment at all? Chuck stuff out, etc?

I know it's not going to fix your situation, but when I look honestly at the times I crash into deep despair, I know that little adjustments I can do myself make it easier to at least find the strength to go see the GP, start the ball rolling, etc. 

I have had really bad experiences with the MH teams - as in developed a fear of them sort of bad...

I know I need help - my GP is supportive but he's at a loss and frustrated by the attitude towards me from MH and is trying to get me a referral out of area... been going on 3-4 months...

I agree that MH services can be rubbish, I'm afraid. I know that it makes it difficult.

There is loads I could do - have dug myself out before but I just don't have the motivation I had

I think the most worrying thing is not wanting to be bothered to wash, etc but hiding how I feel from people. I haven't been like that before.

Looks like I have no choice but to see the GP - My medication can't be ordered until I've seen someone (I've just been online to order it).

Any advice on what to say / ask for?

Glitter, have you been on the same medication for ages? Or have you been off it for a while and now need to resume it? Sometimes being on the same thing stops it being effective. i was on Citalopram for years and years. It worked well until suddenly it didn't. Tried sertraline - useless. Tried Prozac. Didn't work for months but GP made me stick with it and eventually it kicked in. You might need to try something new. or up the dose?

If the MH team aren't useful to you, don't use them. Work with your GP and any other resources that are useful. Online Moodgyms, Superbetter (great idea but badly run site) etc.

Easier said than done, I know, but one way round the not washing thing is to tell yourself you don't have to ever want to do it, but that doesn't mean you won't do it. Try to con yourself into washing - a quick shower, a shallow bath - anything you can do even while you hate doing it. It will make you feel better afterwards. Or admit defeat for a while and get some baby wipes and dry shampoo. But one way through this is to do stuff you know needs doing regardless of whether you want to or can be m=bothered or feel motivated. Don't wait for the desire to return.

*Giraffe
*
Had a better day today - washed my hair and saw friends...

I'm not sure if it's made a difference but I took half my medication this morning and the rest this evening when normally I take it all in evening - they had said I could split it as I wanted.

GP surgery are saying they'll review it without seeing me and I couldn't get an appointment-have to try next week.

Hi,

Good to know today was better. And that GP surgery are being helpful xx