to have worked as a prostitute

[darkpond]

Lately I have been wondering about this a lot. I worked as a prostitute in my late teens and early twenties. I was short of money (though not desperate really, not starving or anything but I did need it) and I just don't know why really, I just did it.

It didn't seem a big deal.

I don't know now though, I seem to have issues with sex. And I'm wondering if it's linked to this. Or if maybe I'm just not someone who sees sex as important and that's why I could do it.

I think that there are people who genuinely don't care much about sex, but I do believe those people would be upset to be cheated on, because of the deciet and dishonesty and disrespect and humiliation, if not because of the sex. (but people who aren't bothered about sex without it being about "issues" I'ld imagine commonly have open relationships so there is no cheating and it's all respectful)

Not being bothered about being cheated on suggests your issues go beyond sex, and fall into a wider relationship issue where you accept being lied to and decieved etc and not at least being given the option to discuss "respectful" ways of your partner having sex with other people

TinselTwins At least for me, I would be happy to be in an open relationship but would NOT be happy to be cheated on.

For me, it's definitely the deceit rather than the sex.

Sorry, will stop hijacking your thread... /slopes off

You're not.

TinselTwins At least for me, I would be happy to be in an open relationship but would NOT be happy to be cheated on.

For me, it's definitely the deceit rather than the sex.

Exactly. If you're okay with being cheated on in relationships then it's a self-worth/self esteme issue not a sex issue (or at least not just a sex issue)

It's perfectly possible to have a respectful relationship where one or both people are having sex with other people, but if there's "cheating" then it's not a respectful relationship and it's not healthy to be "okay" with that

A lot of sex workers form a negative opinion about men.

When you went into prostitution you say you were in your teens so your introduction to men and sex was based purely on men using your body for sex. The teenage years are a time of personal growth and emotional development so I expect it has greatly shaped your views on men and sex.

To cope with having sex for money you probably learnt to "detach". Mentally switching off is a way to endure sex you don't want, abuse victims often use this coping mechanism too.

I wonder if a combination of your negative view/ low expectations of men and your habit of detaching during sex is the root of your feelings of ambivalence now?

Dark pond, if you and your DH are happy, then thats all that matters.
Some people like to swing from the chandelier, others can take it, or leave it. Some enjoy it, others pretend. Sex is, whatever you want it to be.
It's a part of your life that's in your past now, as long as you aren't depressed OP, just keep on, being you.💐

Some people don't care about sex. If you're happy then that's it.

Who knows if it's even because of the sex work?

I personally would be ok with an open relationship but DH isn't (which is why we have 3-somes...). If he cheated I'd be very upset. Because of the deceit, the lies and the humiliation. Not necessarily because of the sex.

Sex doesn't matter to lots of people. Most of my friends in relationships try and avoid it. None of them ever worked as prostitutes, nor have I. I haven't had sex for 7 years and I doubt I will ever be bothered with it again, I don't think I ever liked it that much even in my 20s.

Many women have a negative opinion of men, because of the way men behave. That has nothing to do with sex.

Sugar pie what a lovely response !

Thank you Sweet😊