Left son and dog Outside tesco 10 minutes

[lollylou2876]

This is the first time and it was 2.30pm.

Last day off school ds 9 wanted to walk the pug to tesco with us, it is our closest shop, he waited outside with the dog, whilst I went and got bread and milk, back within 5/10 minutes.

An old neighbour, who had had her children removed off ss commented I was mad leaving him outside, I said he's 9 and wanted to wait, it's daylight. But it did get me thinking wibu letting ds stay outside.

It's obviously fine.

Maybe she doesn't want to acknowledge why her DC were removed? Or she's a bit too old to remember? And anyway, back then weren't children removed for other things? Like, being a single mother etc?

I so rarely comment on these threads because a. what I did independently (and liked it) as a child would now be considered neglect and b. what I allowed/allow my DCs to do independently would be considered by some as foolhardy and dangerous and reportable . I worry that we are raising a generation of anxious, risk-averse, ill-equipped for adult life future youngsters.

So, no, YWNBU.
If that needed saying.

I used to make my 10 year old stand outside shops because I was worried about the dog being stolen not sure how much use he would have been

I'm pretty sure I was walking to the corner shop alone by age 6.

Absolutely fine but like previous poster, would be more worried about the dog being vulnerable than the child.

Ive left my 5 year old outside the local corner shop with his scooter for 5 mins. Much more dangerous to other shoppers (mostly older people) if I let him and the scooter inside!

You know your DS and your dog. Only issue I can see would be if your DS couldn't handle the dog.

yes thank you user, I do know the full story, and I accept the ss sentence was below the belt and unnecessary to the post. It was an initial thought on walking away.

But then again hypothetically speaking - if I was a rubbish gardener and all my plants had died, or suffered due to my negligence would you see me as fit to judge your entry into a gardening contest?

I would have been walking to the shop with the dog on my own when I was nine - and my mum was generally quite a cautious parent!

A nine-year-old and his dog are fine for ten minutes outside a shop. I think perhaps your neighbour might just be a little bitter after her own experiences, but there is no way on earth her children would have been taken from her simply because she left them outside a shop for ten minutes.

We used to go out roller-skating all around the neighbourhood when we were 7 or 8. It's absolute madness to be shocked at a 9 yr old waiting outside a shop for his mum. You've done nothing wrong.

No her children were removed for number of other reasons, I too, used to go to the shop myself. I remember being very young and it was the norm to park the baby up outside in the pram.

I guess it depends how sensible your DS is and what location the Tesco is.

Tesco in busy city centre - I wouldn't leave my 9yo outside.

Tesco in quiet area - ok to leave 9yo for a few mins.

So for me it depends on the environment.

I don't buy the 'he wanted to wait outside Tesco so I let him' argument. Many DCs would eat only chocolate for breakfast if allowed but doesn't mean they should!

Cheers.

YABU not to post a picture of the pug! The 9 year old alone outside Tesco? Wouldn't do it myself (but would leave my 8 and 9 year olds together)...do I judge you for it? Definitely not.

why are some posters reading this as the neighbour is an old woman ? to me it is a woman who used to live next door to you in the distant past ? where is the pic of the pug ??

I wouldn't do it tbh but I'm probably over protective and don't even leave dd11

To be fair, i think leaving him with such an expensive dog is putting him at risk and for that I do think you were unreasonable. Round here loads of dogs get stolen and I wouldn't leave a child as they're easy targets and more likely to attract chancers. On his own not a problem I suppose

But then again hypothetically speaking - if I was a rubbish gardener and all my plants had died, or suffered due to my negligence would you see me as fit to judge your entry into a gardening contest?

I would never compare children to shrubbery, so I'm not going to comment on that.

YANBU obvs.
Donajimena at DS being your doggyguard!

Good heavens, of course YANBU to allow your 9-year-old to wait outside a shop for 10 minutes. When will this nonsense end? I really hope we see the pendulum swing to a more sensible awareness of what constitutes genuine danger and risk.

He should have been sent to the shop on his own at 9, never mind the question about him standing outside FFS.

Unless you mean a 9 month old sat next to the dog

She's cray cray

""What could have the neighbourg done that would have seen her dcs taken away but had nothing to do with her parenting? What sort of circumstances would lead to that? MH issues? Health issues?""

I was a CP SW, most of my cases were people (mostly Mothers) with undiagnosed MH/Conditions, until they had children.

There were s good many with diagnosis, but not the support that they needed. A lot of the conditions, wouldn't have been recognised or treatable etc years ago. Women with LDs didn't stand a chance.

Even in the 80's Women had children removed because they were struggling and LPs.

Then there was poverty and it was considered best to give them up "for a better life".

Then there were the Ines who'd had terrible backgrounds and didn't know how to Parent and the attitude was that there were enough MC wanting children, so remove them from the WC.

So perhaps don't be too quick to judge.

Where I live, you wouldn't leave a child with a pug, they'd have it stolen off them and possibly be assaulted, during it.

I used to let my children wait by my German Shepherd, the dog fastened to a pole, but it isn't a breed that people will take a chance with.

When I was 9 and my sister 8, our parents would leave us alone all day while they played golf. Nominally, we were in the "care" of a neighbour down the road, but we never saw her. We used to go off across the nearby farm, with areas of dense bush and rivers to cross, wander to the shop about 500 metres away, catch tadpoles in the stream. I know it was the 50s, but there was the occasional shady character around, and the potential for disaster in the shape of injury, drowning or abduction was huge. DPs didn't seem to care and there was only one major accident.

OP you are a terrible parent, chain that child to your side until they are at least 30yo!!!

My DC would go to the shops for me at that age. I know they once bumped into an acquaintance from school who was shocked that they were "unsupervised", though, so not everyone thinks it's okay.

(Polyglot, when i was 4, and my sister was 5, we would take two buses to school. We had to cross two busy roads at traffic lights as part of the journey, and had to pay with cash on the bus - no bus pass. This was the 70s.)