To wonder how rude people get so far in their lives without being punched?

[OvariesBeforeBrovaries]

For clarity I would never punch someone as I am a good egg, I'm just curious.

DH and I were back in the town we grew up in the other day (it's a very backwards rural area with weird ideas, lots of prejudice etc, for context) as we were helping with a show. DD was being looked after by my mum. We popped to the chippy to get some lunch, and while we're in the queue, this woman walks up to us and stands beside us in the queue rather than behind us, and starts just making polite small talk.

I reached out my phone to make sure my mum hadn't messaged me if DD needed anything, at which point the conversation goes like this -

Woman - "How much do you spend on that thing? The average time you young people spend on there is five hours. Do you spend five hours on it?".
Me - "Probably" (I wasn't really sure what she was getting at so I just went along with it).
Her - "When my grandchildren come to visit me, I ban devices. They're there to sit and spend time with me, not look at their phones".
Me - "Oh, that's a good rule to have".
Her - "It's a very good rule to have, I know! Well don't you have a life? Don't you have a job to go to?".
Me - "I'm a stay at home mum".
Her - "Well where's your child then?"
Me - "She's spending some time with her nan".
Her - "You young people. You can't be a very good mum if you're on your phone".
Me - "Well I don't use it when I'm with her..."
Her - "Does she know who her mummy is?"
Me - "Yes..."
Her - "Well, do you spend any time with her? Does she know her numbers? Does she know her alphabet?".

At this point I just started laughing as she carried on ranting in the queue behind us. Thankfully we were served at this point and left quickly. She'd started moaning to the people behind her about young people and their phones. I'm 22 and I was checking for messages, I'm not exactly a moody teenager or playing Candy Crush 24/7

I just don't understand how people can get to a fair age (she was at least 60) without getting punched for saying the wrong thing to the wrong person? I don't condone violence, it's just there are people who punch people for looking the wrong way at someone, never mind interrogating them and questioning their parenting skills - are people like her just very good at spotting who not to insult? Do I need to develop more of a threatening exterior?

No he sent her in so he could have five minutes peace! I recognise the behaviour....
There are cultural differences across the country about how people engage with each other.

I have often pondered this thought. How the hell my Mil has survived 77 years is a mystery.

Maybe she was recently widowed and now has to go out for someone to carp at?

Fuck off. Not funny.

Most of the people where I live including me are armed so that helps discourage any physical violence. Also society is in a sense better behaved than we were hundreds of years ago. These days we can be rude to each other and argue about stuff without feeling the need to attack or kill each other. Compare that to hundreds of years ago when massive wars would be started because one king said something mean about another king and they couldn't handle it without declaring war.

You never said anything to her about how rude she was. Why not? That would be a good place to start. And to question yourself as to why you never said anything. If no one ever does, then these people continue to get away with it.

Most of the people where I live including me are armed so that helps discourage any physical violence.

I'm not sure that would help in that area. You'd have people getting killed every day for venturing the opinion that maybe gay marriage isn't so bad after all.

You never said anything to her about how rude she was. Why not?

Because I was standing in the queue at a chippy so a) I was hangry, b) she seemed like the feisty sort and I didn't want to get into a fight at the chip shop and c) it would be in the newspaper the following week and I don't fancy that thanks.

Maybe she's socially awkward, was trying to make conversation, and failed miserably? Some people really know how to put their foot in it.

cocopopsrock Mon 02-Jan-17 18:57:49
You done well. I would have punched her square in the throat
Really? Seriously?

It's funny that you should use that specific example Ovaries. One of the guys in my circle of friends is very anti gay marriage. He's in the minority but we all get on fine with him we just put politics to one side when we hang out. None of us ever feel like shooting each other over stuff like that. I'm told the British are very reserved in their social interactions, the famous "stiff upper lip" and constantly apologizing even for stuff that isn't your fault. As an outside I would guess that in a culture like that it must be rare for someone to be physically violent in response to being offended.

I often come across folks I'd like to punch, particularly those who waste my time (re selling the house we have moved out of) through their own thickness and ignorance. Had a viewing on NEW YEARS EVE, so left guests to themselves and arrived half an hour before viewing to turn heating up, make sure everything looked ok, sweep path, etc. They arrived, her with a face like a slapped arse, curling her lip at at the fact that the garage is not attached to the house, and that there is not a logburner. These facts are clearly apparent to anyone reading the description or looking at the numerous photos. I so wanted to punch her in the face, but didn't fancy spending New Year in prison. That's why most people refrain from violence when faced with morons.