To have spent the whole of 2017 peed off?

[smellysocksandtea]

So yesterday was a disaster and I'm still really annoyed about it, AIBU?

-Had a "party" with DP's family. Had to hear racist, rude and class-ist talk about both myself and partner (I'm black, he is white/Middle Eastern and it's a wonder we both have jobs, let alone jobs in the "city" )

-DP family are not the biggest family animals - I already know this. The basically shoved us out the house after the countdown.

-Fish. I hate most fish. They know this. I have repeated this a million times. I get served fish. They moan and say I'm rude for not eating it all. (also gossiped about feeding into the stereotype that all black people hate fish and don't know good food.)

-DP is being an ungrateful shit. I bought him a few presents and he told me to return all of said presents as they weren't what he wanted. Am I the only one who thinks that this is not done.

Are you me?

Had a New Year's Eve party.

Guests seemed to have enoyjed it despite a disaster in the food Departement.

MIL basically called me fat infront of friends. I spent quite some time on the upstairs toilet... and DH thinks I shouldn't have sulked :((!

Minus th racism in my case.

That's horrific.

Like,., seriously?
:(

Don't return the gifts,

Where are they (well the charming dad) from then? They sound delightful. Please avoid them!

So is your DP the result of a previous liaison of one of his "parents" then? Or adopted?
I find it really hard to deal with the concept that he has had to cope with racism from his own family towards himself for his whole life, that HAS to suck :(

(Still doesn't excuse his petty manchildery over the presents though!)

If I understand this correctly, you arent married and have no children?

If so, dump him. Racism is unforgivable and they never going to change.

If so, dump him. Racism is unforgivable and they never going to change.

Why should she dump her partner (a victim in all of this!) because of his relatives disgusting behaviour???!!!!

Horatio how rude! You had every right to be upset!

Mavis They are French, I downplay how much I speak and understand.

Witches DP's dad married MIL for a year and divorced her as soon as his permanent visa come through. Not before leaving her heavily pregnant with DP.

Why should she dump her partner (a victim in all of this!) because of his relatives disgusting behaviour???!!!!

Because she has to live with it too.

Even though it isnt his fault, he doesn't cut ties with them and allows himself and her to be subjected to this. Why were even at a NYE party when he knows they are nasty? So he is just as culpable. People have gone NC with relatives on here for far less than what his family do.

Life is too short for this shit and imagine facing the rest of your life living with a racist family when you could have ended it before you were married and dc.

They sound horrid & your Dp should have nothing to do with them meaning you can go NC also.

Disgusted for you 😡😡😡😡😡

smelly

Thanks. DH thinks I should have just explained why I was hurt and not sulked. Because she maybe didn't mean it this way. I'll talk to him again and if we still don't agree I may start an AIBU. 🙈🙈

I'm not sure what to say to your situation. It sound awful and you deserve better. And you OH deserves better, his father sounds really really horrible!!
I do think that, if you choose to stay with OH, you have to talk about how you and any children you may have will be protected from this.

Maybe NC?

aannnndd to update.

They are here (staying with MIL so can't leave or tell them to piss off) and I lost my temper.

We were having a friendly chat about teaching our future children French and English from birth. MIL said "well they're both smart, if their children are the same language will be no problem"

DP and I laugh around and joke that the children will get the brains from the smarter one (me saying I'm smarter, he saying he is)

DP Aunt says something in French that my mum isn't smart. I ask her what she said and she turns to me fucking SMILING and repeats "from the stories I've heard, your mum doesn't seem smart."

If I don't update, I've fucking murdered her.

Whaaaaat??!!! :0

But tbh, MIL has made similarly weird comments about DD learning English, my language skills, about my DM etc... my mother happens to speak 3 languages, to fluently and the 3rd basically fluently... and yet MIL thought she should also learn English? :/

I think sometimes people just want to be ignorant.

*two

You know what? Your ils do not get the have their hideous attitudes excused because they are 'very white' and middle class. I really hate it when this level of racism is excused. I'm as white as milk, as is my dh and his family. Occasionally my fil comes out with anti immigration/briwn people are stealing all the jobs type comments and I call him out on it. It is inexcusable in this day and age that people just allow these comments to pass. You need to further something op, and so does your dh.

2017watchout I read the last bit of your post as "Don't engage with the racist foods"

You are not being unreasonable to be angry at experiencing racism from folk who ought to welcome you as family smelly socks and your DP sounds irritating too.

His family sounds awful. I hope the rest of your year goes better.

What does your DP do? Does he support you in chewing out his aunt or is he quiet?

They sound awful. It kind of reminds me of a sad version of the movie Qu'est-ce qu'on a fait au Bon Dieu?

Jamaicans have been fucking stoic about their national dish considering their hatred of fish.....
Please op, distance yourself from these people, why grace then with your presence? Your life is far too precious to waste time with these assholes. If I were your dp I would" rock the boat "in a considersble way.
Hope your year improves.

God - your poor DP. He's still an ungrateful manchild, mind - but having to live with a stepfather (and mother!) who hate the "colour" in his blood must have been mind-blowingly horrible for him.

As for the rudeness about your mother - well. First off, what have they been saying about her? And second off, they very obviously have not been brought up with any manners at all. Disgusting people.

I think I'd leave at this point. No, I would. I'd pack my bag and leave them to it. I'd ask DP to come too, obviously - but if he didn't, then that would be another nail in his coffin as well.

Aaand I've just made a gross assumption that your MIL has in fact re-married - just realised you're there with extended family and there may not be any stepfather, just your DP's mother's family.