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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Scared of spiders?

34 replies

AtSea1979 · 01/01/2017 07:13

Anyone else terrified of spiders? I am determined that this year I'm going to get over the fear. I've bought a couple of apps, I'm going to desensitise myself. Anyone else want to join and share tips along the way?

OP posts:
SVJAA · 01/01/2017 07:15

I don't have any tips, I'm shamelessly place marking in case anyone does. Come Autumn I actually live in a state of heightened anxiety because I know the big hairy fuckers are going to descend. We had one this year the bastards know when DP is working nights and I had to pull on my big girl pants because DD was panicking and I didn't want to scare her. I managed to catch it and throw it out the back. Then spent ten minutes sobbing and heaving in the kitchen. It was huge!
I literally cannot function knowing they're around and actually get relieved when it's - temps because they'll be gone.

cookieswirls · 01/01/2017 07:28

So glad I'm not the only one who thinks like this. In some ways they actually ruin summer and autumn for me as I know they will be rife! They never bothered me as much as a child but now they're my responsibility to remove I really dread seeing one. Good luck with this I hope it works

Original poster
AtSea1979 · 01/01/2017 07:56

Yes autumn is def something to be feared. I'll bought an app which has little spider games and each level it moves up the spider goes from cutesy cartoon to more realistic. But it's making me shudder now I'm on level 3! Also bought Paul McKenna app. Intend to print of photos and buy some plastic ones to leave around the house and get DCs to move around to try to overcome the element of surprise/panic

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 01/01/2017 08:30

I have a real phobia.
This summer we were in holiday in France and I was feeding the baby in bed. A huge spider scampered across the duvet. You'd think a mother's instinct would be to protect the baby at all costs. Nope. My instinct was to throw the baby at it as a distraction so I could escape. Luckily I resisted this and just screamed until DH saved me. I didn't sleep for the rest of the holiday.

I got my fear from my mum who will be absolutely hysterical at any exposure to spiders.

wishparry · 01/01/2017 08:40

I'm terrified of spiders!I was in the kitchen earlier and saw a spider on the floor (can't do the glass/paper trick as tried that once and thought the spider might have gotten out and ended up throwing the glass out of fear which smashed ) so I opened the back door and preceeded to try to encourage the spider out the door with my feet.I ended up squashing his leg and felt so bad I had to let him go,and he ended up scurrying under the dishwasher Blush

Wifflewaffles · 01/01/2017 08:43

I'm the same. :( It gets me down, because I feel pathetic and panicky. I feel anxious and sick. I don't think that I'll ever get over it.

Does anybody remember those people on tv who cured phobias in a few hours, but they would not show the process? Just the person was scared, and came back a few hours later cured. Was that just a stupid trick?

WordWeasel · 01/01/2017 08:43

I massively recommend the Friendly Spider Programme at London Zoo. It changed my life!

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 01/01/2017 08:49

Wiffle, it was probably extreme exposure. Put them in a tank with spiders.

babyblabber · 01/01/2017 08:50

I'm the same but sick and heavily pregnant so not in the headspace to deal with it now. But will be watching with interest to see how you get on. I still have flash backs to the time I had to kill a huge hairy one in the shed by pummeling with a shovel.

Dafspunk · 01/01/2017 08:56

In the last year or two, I've been trying to control my reaction to them. I feel like there's nothing I can do about my fear at the moment - it's there and I can't control it but I can control my response (to a certain extent). There is actually nothing to be gained from screaming/running/hysterics/crying and actually, it just works me up into even more of a frenzy. Unfortunately, this is as far as I've got - kudos to those of you who've actually dealt with the fuckers despite your phobia.

wishparry · 01/01/2017 09:15

I have heard that if you put conkers on windocills by doors etc that spiders won't enter your house.I've never tried it before because I don't want conkers everywhere.but it's just a tip I heard that I thought I'd share.

missyB1 · 01/01/2017 09:22

Another arachnophobe here Sad
Yes Autumn is a total nightmare! I have a puppy now so have a vague hope that she will deal with them for me this year!

SVJAA · 01/01/2017 09:30

Dafspunk literally the only time I can even consider dealing with one is if I'm in by myself with the kids. Then I hide and cry until I've calmed down.

ApplesinmyPocket · 01/01/2017 09:42

My DD, 27, had been terrified of spiders all her life to the point where she had to slam a book shut if a picture came up, and felt shaky and sweaty afterwards for hours. Live ones, obviously much worse.

It was affecting her life so much she booked a place on the Friendly Spider Course at Regent's Park Zoo. (safe to open - no spider pictures - couple of penguins though Xmas Smile

I didn't honestly believe it would work - she was a fairly extreme case I thought - but late in the afternoon she sent me a pic of her doing something I thought she never, ever would in a million years - and smiling! It meant that much to me I had a little cry looking at it!.

A few weeks later she caught a spider very calmly in the house, using the method she was shown on the course. She can look at pictures of them now without fuss. You have to keep it up though and not let your confidence slide - they were advised on the course to keep up exposure and read books and look at pictures as often as possible.

It wasn't cheap, £135 and you have to get to London obviously, but the thing was, it actually worked, as apparently it does for nearly all participants.

Good luck everyone, it's a horrible fear to have.

TotalPerspectiveVortex · 01/01/2017 09:54

This was me last year, but I got so fed up of it I booked my self in for hypnotherapy as a last ditch attempt to sort it out. It worked!! I still don't like the leggy bastards, but the physical fear and terror has gone and I can be calm enough to ask DP to get rid of any I come across now. It's literally changed my life for the better. I honestly didn't know if it would work or not, I generally don't believe in things like that, but I wanted it to work because I was so fed up of having such an extreme reaction, even DP agreed that I couldn't live the was I was in autumn. Best thing I ever tried for it.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 01/01/2017 09:58

There's a very big one living in my garage. It was high up in the wall one evening and DP took a photo to try identify it and told me about it.

The next day I went into the garage and it was in the same place. Keeping perfectly still. We ran past it to the car!

The next day it was gone! I looked about for it and still ran to the car, praying it wasn't actually in the car waiting to leap out while I was driving. No spider. Until!

About a week later it was up there again. It kept perfectly still. Ok, I am used to this.

Next night it was on the opposite wall. It has been in that same spot for about two weeks now. Sitting still. It doesn't have a web and clearly goes hunting for food at night before returning to base in the morning.

It's big and furry and has bulging eyes and big fangs. Seeing the thing every day I thought I was adjusting a bit, overcoming my fear of spiders. I thought, hey, it's not so bad! Kinda cute when you think about it...

Yesterday the fucker moved its leg while I was looking. Now I am scared again. Sad

BigcatLittlecat · 01/01/2017 10:08

Get a cat! We never see a spider now!

SVJAA · 01/01/2017 10:10

I've got 2 and have had less spiders since we got them! Mind you, my last cat I miss him 💔 used to bring them in!

BintyMcGinty · 01/01/2017 10:24

Years ago when I was a nanny we lived in a huge old house , it had the biggest bloody spiders I've ever seen. I spent most of my time climbing on furniture to exit a room just to avoid the buggers. We lived very close to London Zoo, I went along with the kids one day and there was an arena where they did talks with the public about the animals and I mentioned to one keeper my fear of spiders and not wanting to pass it on to the kids I looked after. He arranged for me to go along to the spider exhibit and hold a tarantula , it changed the way I thought about spiders and I'm no longer scared of them.

GladAllOver · 01/01/2017 11:02

Other zoos do spider phobia days as well. Check your local one.

Many phobias are learned from parents. If you have a spider phobia it is vital not to scream about them in front of your children.

TheBadgersMadeMeDoIt · 01/01/2017 23:05

Oysterbabe that made me laugh! Something similar happened to me. I used to keep a big beanbag next to DD's cot for somewhere to sit while singing lullabies etc. One night I was watching her on the monitor and I saw a monster spider scuttle over the beanbag. Made me jump out of my skin but it disappeared from view and I forgot about it...until she woke up crying for her night feed, and I couldn't go in! I could feel the irresistible tug on my heartstrings at her wailing but my feet wouldn't move. Had to pummel DH awake and demand action before I could feed my own crying child.

Makes no sense. I'd have been in there armed with a bread knife if it had been an escaped tiger that I saw on the monitor...but a hairy, ugly little fucker that can't actually hurt anyone has me paralysed.

JamButtyLand · 01/01/2017 23:36

I bought a spider catcher. It's arms length away so can't get you and you just pick it up and put it outside. Have to be able to get close enough to catch it though which is the hard thing. Not seen a single spider since we got the cats though

peaceloveandbiscuits · 02/01/2017 00:36

I have no idea where I got my phobia from, because neither of my parents frightened of spiders (that I can recall). But I have quite an extreme phobia in that just reading this thread has made my heart race and I feel anxious and on edge now. I would like to be cured so as not to pass it on to DS, but at the same time, they are evil bastards and not to be trusted.

Phill Jupitus had a stand up routine years ago where he talked about his arachnophobia, and it was so funny and true, about the heightened awareness arachnophobes have of anything you see move from the corner of your eye.

Original poster
AtSea1979 · 02/01/2017 01:24

wish I have conkers all round the house.

I was showing my mum the app earlier, now on level 4 and getting quite realistic, one on the app scurried out from under a plant pot and I practically launched the phone at my mum.

I would love to do the zoo one but I live up north and don't have childcare options else I would.

OP posts:
liquidrevolution · 02/01/2017 07:43

Many phobias are learned from parents. If you have a spider phobia it is vital not to scream about them in front of your children. < this! Thankfully DH and i are happy to live in a house with spiders.

Well done OP for starting to do something about this. I would also do some general reading about spiders. It also helps if you think about the positives spiders bring to your house. They eat flies and flies are bloody annoying.