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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To take toddler to NY party?

45 replies

cherrycrumblecustard · 31/12/2016 14:11

There's a party tonight and I wasn't going to go, then I thought I might show my face for a couple of hours. I used to see this friend a lot. But DH is going out.

I could still go if I took my 2 yo, my friend wouldn't mind but is it fair on her? I wouldn't stay long, until maybe ten o clock?

I am being UR aren't I? :)

OP posts:

Original poster

cherrycrumblecustard · 31/12/2016 15:27

Happy new year to you too :)

OP posts:

bringbacksideburns · 31/12/2016 15:29

What is your DH doing? Is he not spending the New year with his family? Your child is a toddler not a teen. I wouldn't be very happy if I was going to be on my own all NYE.
If he is planning on coming back at a reasonably early time then I wouldn't go.
If he isn't then I'd ring my friend and ask her.

Blondeshavemorefun · 31/12/2016 15:30

take her and a travel cot and have upstiars so can sleep and you ca chat to people, but obv check on her as diff surroundings and you may not hear her cry

Original poster

cherrycrumblecustard · 31/12/2016 15:33

He's going out for a meal with colleagues

OP posts:

TheCatsMother99 · 31/12/2016 15:33

If you were my friend I wouldn't mind, in fact, I wouldn't mind you staying all night but then I'd be more worried about your child being disturbed by the noise of the party even though that'd be your problem and not mine.

Original poster

cherrycrumblecustard · 31/12/2016 16:33

Yeah and she is tired, so am I really.

OP posts:

KinkyAfro · 31/12/2016 16:35

He's going for a meal with colleagues on NYE? Surely NYE is a time for families? I'd not be happy if my DP went out with colleagues

Original poster

cherrycrumblecustard · 31/12/2016 16:48

Is it? I thought that was more Christmas really

OP posts:

BrollyXmas · 31/12/2016 16:50

I would go and see how she goes. Dc2 & 3 saw new year in when they were 2.

BrollyXmas · 31/12/2016 16:51

I wouldn't be happy with dp going out without me on nye though.

Original poster

cherrycrumblecustard · 31/12/2016 16:51

I don't know what to wear either!

OP posts:

Original poster

cherrycrumblecustard · 31/12/2016 16:53

Well I was invited but we've no one to gave the children.

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Blueskyrain · 31/12/2016 16:57

Go, have fun and if you need to leave, leave.
If your child doesn't like it, it's only one night anyway. No point being a martyr and staying in alone like billy no mates.

KinkyAfro · 31/12/2016 17:02

Ah right, different if you were invited then

Original poster

cherrycrumblecustard · 31/12/2016 17:10

Yes I'll just play it by ear I think

OP posts:

Original poster

cherrycrumblecustard · 31/12/2016 17:10

I'm not sure she wants me there anyway tbh

OP posts:

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 31/12/2016 17:19

I take my two (aged 4 and nearly 2) to house parties. They pack their own little bags with some small toys and books. We arrive early, while things are still pretty sedate. The kids play with their toys, chat the the grown ups then fall asleep in the hosts bed. They are always well out of it by the time people are drinking in earnest.
I say do it. If it doesn't work out then you don't have to do it again.

CheeseFiend36 · 01/01/2017 00:11

I remember from your previous posts you mentioning you had more than one DC. What were the others doing, perhaps the 2yo could have joined them?

jayisforjessica · 01/01/2017 01:28

I'm definitely in the minority here, and I'm sure I'll get some harsh words for it, but I have a son (and two more children on the way) and I still really dislike the kind of parent who has to bring their child to everything. Okay, so you don't have a sitter. So you can't go, to my mind. Unless the child was specifically invited, you're just taking liberties.

You say you're going to check with your friend, and I bet you think that makes you sound like you're totally reasonable. But look at it from that friend's perspective. What can she say but yes? If she says no, she's the b*tch who wouldn't let you bring your kid to the party (and you could easily be back here in a couple of days with a thread about that).

It is not fair to make other people change their plans and rearrange their lives to accommodate your choices - your choice to have a child, your choice to let your DH go off and leave you, your choice to not try harder to find a babysitter etc. And I say this as a mother who has been in your position more than once in my son's life.

My feeling is, I chose to give birth to my son - my friends didn't! Childcare arrangements are my responsibility, not theirs! And I certainly have never once asked my friends to allow my (as of the writing of this post) uninvited child to come to a party and completely change the dynamics. I couldn't think of anything more selfish, and I would be mortified if I even tried it. Sometimes when they're that little you as the parent have to understand that you need to forfeit the "having a life" part of life for a while. Not forever, and no, I don't think parents with small children should shut themselves away. I just firmly believe that parents with small children should not be expecting the world to rearrange and shift focus to suit the parents with small children.

user1477282676 · 01/01/2017 06:32

Kinky every family is different. My DH and I don't give a crap about NYE...if one of us wanted to go out with friends or colleagues, then the other would wave them off happily!

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