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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to want to play a board game properly?

64 replies

Cindefuckingrella · 30/12/2016 23:21

I'm frowned upon by my husband's family as I like to play a board game properly and not twat about (and when I say this, I'm not an absolute stickler, I'm lenient with the kids etc). With them it's basically anything goes, blatant cheating, making up rules, being in a strop if the other team gets something right etc and they make me feel like the fun police for not joining in on it. I just think what's the point of sitting down to play a game if you are going to cheat and not attempt to follow the rules- and it doesn't set a good example for the children either. We might as well just be mucking around doing something else. But apparently I'm the one with the problem 🤔. What's wrong with a bit of healthy competition and mental stimulation?

OP posts:
Andrewofgg · 31/12/2016 00:01

MIL had her own list of absurd words (typed and therefore "official") which she insisted were legal in Scrabble; her family called them GSWs, Grandma's Silly Words. And she would strop like all the stroppy children you ever met put together if anyone challenged them. After she went to cheat in the next world died I took possession of it and took mild pleasure in destroying it.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 31/12/2016 00:01

Queen Grin

Puts a whole new spin on 'occupying Park Lane' doesn't it!

JessieMcJessie · 31/12/2016 00:03

I prefer playing by the rules too. But I can hardly ever get anyone to agree to play in the first place, they're all too busy drinking and chatting. I find conversation boring at times and think you can really get to know a person by how they play a game. My son is only 3 months old and he has no idea yet that as soon as he is old enough it is going to be Mummy who is begging him to play with her rather than vice versa!

Twofurrycats · 31/12/2016 00:08

There are some rules we 'adjusted' for the sake of expediency (and sanity). One being that once you got to the middle in trivial pursuit you stayed there I think or something similar. But we all knew this and agreed. I have cheated spectacularly at cards with my ex in laws because they would play for hours and hours and take it so seriously though

Original poster
Cindefuckingrella · 31/12/2016 00:12

Queen 😂

well at least I can go to sleep tonight safe in the knowledge that I'm not crazy ( as far as board games are concerned at least 😀)

OP posts:
powershowerforanhour · 31/12/2016 00:12

I'm a stickler for the rules of board games...but I was also very good at "Cheat" when we used to play cards with our cousins and it was one of my favourite games.

britbat23 · 31/12/2016 00:14

The rules we got with the latest version of Scrabble say you can. I didn't think it was allowed but looks like rules have been updated.

I find this VERY hard to believe

AhJaysusHowaya · 31/12/2016 00:39

Yanbu!

Rules are there to control the fun 🤓

ETanny · 31/12/2016 00:46

We have just shy of a 100 games in our board game collection so it's a pretty big part of our lives. We follow the rules of a game. No flexing the rules and that includes not bending the rules to let the children win and they appreciate when they win more because they know it's a genuine win.
Nothing bugs me more then 'oh let so and so win they're only little'.

38cody · 31/12/2016 01:12

I can't play Monopoly with my DH because we will fall out. either of us can play with DC but never, ever, together.

BlackeyedSusan · 31/12/2016 01:23

one of my children can not lose. can't cope with it. we only play games where the pieces are competing not the people. (eg snail's pace, or adapted games)

with adults I struggle when people do not follow the rules unless a new rule was imposed at the beginning and stuck to. (eg to accomodate children or shortage of time)

Threesoundslikealot · 31/12/2016 01:28

We had family shortcut rules for monopoly to stop it taking all day like not needing a set to build houses. Also more realistic. Why would you need 3 different streets before you start building?

Argh! Anarchy.

melj1213 · 31/12/2016 01:36

Honestly, my family rarely if ever play only by the rules provided in the box, we use them more as "guidelines" and adapt them however we see fit - but my entire family is very competitive and cheat like hell.

Christmas day ended up with 2hrs of "Heads Up" between all of us kids before we moved on to Articulate, but then people accused each other of cheating and putting each ther off etc ... which descended into 3 generations of the family sitting in pairs doing a "pub quiz" that was mired in controversy over cheating, copying and dodgy marking ... but we all had fun and it's not a family get togethr without it!

LindyHemming · 31/12/2016 06:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BusyBeez99 · 31/12/2016 07:03

No hours rules here. Kids play the game correctly from day one. This is how they learn to get better and win

BusyBeez99 · 31/12/2016 07:04

Euphemia - say you had used the blank for an S. Then you get an S out the bag in the next round. You want to put the S you've just got in place of the blank one. You can then use the blank one to represent another letter say T in your next Word

Stupid idea!!

2rebecca · 31/12/2016 07:05

To me cheating like hell isn't being competitive it's just being selfish and unwilling to lose.
Agreeing to different rules before a game to save time/ make the game easier for younger players is fine. Changing them mid game and cheating would just piss me off, especially if during the festive period and everyone is a bit pissed anyway. Things would get nasty. I think if a game is to be fun it has to be fair.

HermioneWoozle · 31/12/2016 07:06

Another one for playing by the rules here. That's what board games are for.

2rebecca · 31/12/2016 07:06

That blank rule sounds really unfair. You just get to use the blank once, otherwise the person with a blank at the beginning of the game has a huge advantage. Using your blank wisely is part of the game.

2rebecca · 31/12/2016 07:08

I want to play a board game now. Haven't played settlers of catan for a while. Unfortunately have a long car journey to do instead.

HermioneWoozle · 31/12/2016 07:10

I don't mind diverting from the set rules though, as long as everyone knows what the rules are.

I used to play a short version of Monopoly with my dad where we wouldn't buy a property where the other person had bought one of that colour already, so that there were no auctions and it was just a test of luck in landing on the right spaces. It simplified it for me as a kid but when I played DH he definitely didn't play it that way, which was fine.

pklme · 31/12/2016 07:13

I'm going to turn the thread on its head and disagree...
No not really. Well, just a bit.

It depends what games are for and the dynamics of the family. If it is to have a fun time with family and friends, then they seem to be able to do that without playing properly and it's just you that struggles.

We always play properly, but it's not much fun as several family members are very able and competitive. One BIL often wants to play a particular game as he 'hasn't worked out how to win, yet'.

Some of us are not very competitive and get bored with the cut throat intensity of it all. We have to play anyway so there are enough of us... We just want to spend time having fun as a family.

AmberEars · 31/12/2016 07:15

I agree with you, OP. I once had a massive strop when we were playing monopoly with friends and they cheated massively in order to win (effectively the two of them played as a team rather than two individuals, by swapping properties between themselves).

However, if they've always done this and they all agree it's ok then I don't think you've got much chance of changing all their minds. So you'll probably have to either accept it or decline to take part.

NinjaLeprechaun · 31/12/2016 08:01

"Honestly, my family rarely if ever play only by the rules provided in the box, we use them more as "guidelines" and adapt them however we see fit - but my entire family is very competitive and cheat like hell."
We have a Pirates of the Caribbean Monopoly set, and that's House Rule #1: "They're more guidelines than actual rules." Grin But that's only specific to that set, because pirates.
We do generally play with House Rules for most games though.

Having said that, my mum banned board games (Monopoly specifically) when we were kids, due to hyper-competitiveness, accusations of cheating and counter-accusations of being too controlling, and the fact that they always ended in a fight.

CalebHadToSplit · 31/12/2016 08:02

YANBU. Playing properly is part of the skill and fun.

In my family, we're big fans of checking the rule book if a move looks a bit suspicious. We've got a large collection of games which rise and fall in favour, so sometimes when double-checking something we will inadvertently discover that we had a house rule in place for 25 years without realising. It's a difficult decision at that point whether to continue our way or change back to the original.