I'm currently in a bit of a dysfunctional relationship, probably to put it mildly. We've been together six years and have a one year old.
He's always had anger issues (grew up seeing his parents fight physically with each other regularly) and can become extremely nasty and aggressive at the drop of a hat. In the last month he's shoved me up against the kitchen side a few times, had his hands around my neck and pushed my head towards the door trying to throw me out the house. He calls me a selfish bitch, says I have no friends, says things like if I ever left him he'd be sure to make it a struggle for me.
Before we had DD or I even got pregnant, I always said smoking and cannabis were a deal breaker for me, I didn't want that in my house when I had a child. He's always smoked weed but said he had quit after we had DD, only to find out if isn't just the occasional social thing when he sees his friends, it's been pretty much constant for the past year, and he's been lying to me. I used to question how easy he'd given up and he always said he just had, even when I had suspicions and asked him, he just lied blatantly to my face.
I'm disappointed in how he is as a father, he's lazy, everything seems like too much effort, I can count on both hands the amount of times he's got up in the morning with DD instead of me in a year, he expects me to do all the housework. Every time I mention it it causes a massive argument. He feels a lot of stress from work, although to me it just appears to be a normal work situation. I work from home and struggle to find the time to because he treats his time with so much more importance than mine.
I don't know why I'm even writing this, I'm sort of in limbo with no idea what to do or how to sort/end our relationship. I really do love him but I feel pathetic admitting it, on the surface it looks ridiculous and I'd be telling any of my friends to get rid immediately.
Sorry for ranting 