to give back the money?

[TatterdemalionAspie]

I don't think I was, but am second guessing myself now that I'll have offended them by sending it back.

A couple of days ago I took my elderly neighbour to an emergency GP appt. in a nearby town. His wife had come round to ask me to ring 111 (I'd told her to not hesitate to call on me if there was anything I could do to help), and I sort of took over a bit and organised (Tuesday, bank holiday, so a bit more complicated than usual) an appt. and took them there etc.

Yesterday his wife popped round with a lovely card and a wrapped present (lovely chocolates!) to say thank you. All fab and I was very touched, but they also put £30 in the card with a very sweet message (that he wanted to buy me a plant to enjoy now and plant out in the spring, but he wasn't allowed out to buy it ), which I just feel is far too much and not necessary at all.

My DP agreed with my feeling that we shouldn't accept it, so I made a card and wrote that I was very touched and really enjoyed the chocolates (we did!), but that I couldn't accept that and I'd rather he grew me a plant in the spring instead. He said in the car that he hasn't had the energy to get his broad beans going - usually he loves his garden and grows lots of veg, of which he gives me some sometimes. I thought maybe it would give him an impetus to get some seedlings growing, but now I'm worried that I've just put unnecessary pressure on him and rejected a gift that was given kindly. I returned the money in the card and put it through the door last night, and haven't heard from them today (not that I expected to).

Did I do the wrong thing? What on earth is the protocol there? I don't want to offend him or reject his gift/wound his pride, but I don't want them to give us their pension money, either!!

Maybe not ask if DH can manage his garden, but be shown how to manage yours by helping doing his under instruction?

I am not an overthinker, but my DH is to a terrifying degree, so I sort of see where you're coming from.

And, for those who think it's rude to return a money gift, it's not, it's really not.

Soo arsebadger is just a silly mild curse/insult. For some reason we have lots of 'badger' insults in our family; wankbadger being a particular favourite. Not sure why, as we're rather fond of badgers.

Thanks for all the kind replies. I will ask him if he'll give DP some veg growing lessons, as DP is a fairly novice allotmenter and my neighbour is an old hand at it.

Northern he knows he hasn't got long, I think. He was saying in the car that he's not afraid of dying. His wife said he was feeling quite low, though, when she brought round the card.

I really hope I haven't offended them, Kirrie. I didn't speak to them face to face because I knew they'd try to convince me to keep it. Also they're both hard of hearing so can't hear when you knock at the door.