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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be upset by "mature face" comments

43 replies

Pandora88 · 29/12/2016 18:43

Am I being a complete idiot to feel upset over a couple comments from acquaintances on our newborn having a "mature face"? We've also been told he appears very "alert" by health professionals because I guess he does look like he's studying everyone and everything around him at all times.

In my head, "mature face" comment means a weird looking child? I think he is absolutely adorable and cute with big eyes (we get the "big eyes" comment from everyone - isn't that a very baby-like feature?) Our little bubba is only a week old.

OP posts:
nicenewone1 · 29/12/2016 18:45

Well I think it's a compliment, congratulations on your boy xx

NoelHeadbands · 29/12/2016 18:46

I would take it to mean non-squished, and alert, and just well, lovely

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 29/12/2016 18:47

DS had a 'mature' face. The night he was born he was awake all night looking about with a Hmm expression on his face.

He also had a wrinkled little forehead.

Babies are kind of funny looking when you first get them.

MrsGB2015 · 29/12/2016 18:48

My son never really had a baby face even when he was a baby. It's not a bad thing so don't worry

Olympiathequeen · 29/12/2016 18:48

Probably does mean he's not cute but 'weekers' as opposed to 'monthers' tend not to be cute but look like wizened old men.

In a few weeks he will fill out and you will get all the cute comments.

Whatsername17 · 29/12/2016 18:51

I think people just think they need to say something. It is meant as a compliment. Your reaction is hormonal because your protective instinct is kicking in. Mil told me dd looked nothing like me and I disinctly remember wanting to stab her. She says the same now (dd is 5) and I laugh at her because dd is my double.

MollyHuaCha · 29/12/2016 18:52

I think it's meant nicely. Some babies are red, blotchy, wrinkly, crying, dribbly, sicky, eyes closed, sleeping all the time. Others have smoother skin of a good tone, eyes open with what appears to be intelligent curiosity, content, focussing on people and things around them. Enjoy your little one! Smile

Fiona2609 · 29/12/2016 18:52

Nooo, those are compliments. Some babies are just more alert. My niece was. On being shown a photo of her, a former county chief medical officer said: "you can tell babies that are university material". Sure enough, the lady in question has a very good degree in psychology and now works as an SEN teacher.
The midwife, who attended my "arrival" said that I looked as if I had "been here before".
Congratulations!

mumofthemonsters808 · 29/12/2016 18:59

I think people just tend to say silly things when they see a newborn baby, it's as though they want to come up with something different other than he's gorgeous, beautiful etc. Some newborns features seem more developed than others, especially babies with dark eyebrows and eyelashes. I remember thinking mine were breathtakingly beautiful, but when I look back at photographs both of them are pink, wrinkly, full of blemishes with veins sticking out of their head.Im sure he is perfect, just keep nodding at the silly comments.

lovelearning · 29/12/2016 19:00

Babies are kind of funny looking when you first get them.

Look what Mary got

Virgin and Child

pieceofpurplesky · 29/12/2016 19:02

Firstly congratulations.
I think that some boys are born with 'man' faces - you know exactly what they will look like when they are 30. They also look the same at 60!

DearyDearyDeary · 29/12/2016 19:07

Both ours looked about 60 when they were born. They got their baby faces a few weeks in, so wouldn't worry.Smile

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 29/12/2016 19:11

Look what Mary got

Virgin and Child

To be fair, Mary was no pageant queen in that painting either.

lovelearning · 29/12/2016 19:18

Mary was no pageant queen in that painting either

VeryBitchyRestingFace Xmas Grin

lovelearning · 29/12/2016 21:11

congratulations on your boy

Pandora88, I wish you and your family a Happy 2017.

mum2Bomg · 29/12/2016 21:14

My DD is now 3 and a half weeks old and her face has really poofed out as she's putting on weight - was your baby under weight?

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 29/12/2016 21:15

Mature means wise, he had that ' oh fuck off you lot' gaze which means he's a clever little bugger Grin.

haveacupoftea · 29/12/2016 21:21

lovelearning Grin that really is a mature baby!

I shouldn't worry OP, people make up any old crap when they see a baby, e.g. 'she's so alert', as opposed to what, your baby is a breathing vegetable Confused

museumum · 29/12/2016 21:21

My ds came out with his eyes open! Really quite freaky.
But most newborns are all kitten eyes and squished looking.
I'm sure everyone means it kindly and it's just an observation.

RobinSnood · 29/12/2016 21:22

Christ - I thought someone had told you you looked wrinkly!

Babies look weird. Tis a fact. Cangratulations on yours.

RobinSnood · 29/12/2016 21:22

*congratulations

MatildaTheCat · 29/12/2016 21:27

My SIL called my PFB a 'very ugly baby'.

Hope that makes you feel better!? I'm sure your baby is beautiful and some people just feel they have to make a comment. Enjoy and ignore.

Congratulations.

lorelairoryemily · 29/12/2016 21:50

People just have to say something!! My ds is 9 months and is on the 98th centile for length and 91st for weight and all we hear is "that's a fine big boy" " big lad isn't he?" Etc. I wouldn't pay any attention to it, congratulations, enjoy your lovely boy

mickeyjohn · 29/12/2016 22:01

My daughter was called 'alert' by all the midwives, docs, health visitors etc - they all commented on it, like she was a bit freaky. She is now 10, & very smart, very perceptive & very switched on. I'd take it as a big compliment!

redfairy · 29/12/2016 22:56

I would think that a baby described as having a mature face looked sort of weird or old mannish/womanish.
That's probably not much comfort. As people have said already baby will most likely fill out and fit his features better.
I had two ugly buggers (both girls) and a bee-yoo-tiful boy. You never can tell what you're gonna get.

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