sales assistant sniffs clothing I returned to the store

[shethinksistink]

I have namechanged for this as I find it very embarrassing.

I went shopping end of last week, found trousers and a top I liked, wasn’t sure of the sizes and couldn’t be bothered trying them on, so took both items in 2 sizes. At home I tried the bigger sizes on first, they fitted great so didn’t even bother trying the smaller sizes. Bagged up the 2 smaller sized items and set them aside to return yesterday.

Friend arrives 9am and we drive into town and my first port of call is to bring my returns back. Shop assistant packs out the two things, looks at my receipt, starts checking the numbers off against the tags then picks up the top and sniffs at it. Not in a discreet way, the exact same way you’d sniff at the armpits to check if it needs to go in the wash, blatantly! She didn’t look happy. I hate to do the exaggerated “I was shocked to the core” mumsnet thing, but I was. I have genuinely never felt so shocked, embarrassed and dumbstruck in a shop in my life. I am hyper vigilant about personal hygiene and the thought I would return smelly items made my recoil in horror. But I hadn’t even tried them on, so I was totally confused. There was a queue a mile long behind me at the desk. Everyone could see and hear this.

In a total fluster I ask the sales assistant what the problem is, she replies in quite a disdainful tone “I just thought I smelled cigarette smoke”. I don’t smoke and neither does anyone else in my house but I was just massively relieved it wasn’t a BO smell. So I jump in and say that it can’t be smoke as I don’t smoke and my house is smoke free. And she again replies disdainfully with “well I can definitely smell it” with a kind of roll-eye facial expression. The whole exchange had a hostile kind of undertone to it. At this point it dawns on me my friend smokes in her car all the time, just not when others are in it. No doubt she’d smoked 2 or 3 on the drive down to my place. The bag with the items had been in the car for around half an hour. Yes, they no doubt had a second hand stale cigaretty smell to them.

But even at that. I was appalled that any sales assistant would sniff an item of clothing in such a blatant manner then bemoan the fact the smell wasn’t to her liking. 40-a-day smokers are actually allowed to return clothes. As are dog owners, chip pan owners, curry cooks, people who cook fish in their homes, people who don’t shower daily and so on. While I sympathise with stores who no doubt get some ponging items of clothing returned, I have never ever witnessed a sales assistant do an in-your-face sniff test in front of a long queue of onlookers. AIBU to find this an appalling lack of manners on the part of the store/sales assistant?

If things must be sniffed, shouldn’t it been done discreetly? Then again, I doubt stores can refuse to accept items of clothing that have been stored in the houses of smokers or pet owners or people who own a chip pan or fry fish or are painting the skirting boards with gloss or people who wear cheap crappy perfumes. So why the hell did the sales assistant sniff my fucking top? lol

For the record the whole thing knocked me so sideways I didn’t say a word to the sale assistant. I just left the store as quick as I could. Checked with my friend and yes she had smoked in the car that morning (and it would be fair to say she smokes daily in her car as she spends 3-4hours per working-day on average on the road, wouldn’t surprise me if she smokes 50 ciggies a week in her car). My mood was so fucked up I abandoned my shopping trip and came straight home.

Calmed down in the afternoon, and called the head office of the store. They were appalled and assured me it would be dealt with. I had the name of the sales assistant as it was on the return receipt. Asked me to put the whole event in writing and send it to the head office, which I have done and they’ll get back to me in the new year. I then called the actual store and spoke with a manager who was equally sympathetic and horrified, apologised on behalf of the sales assistant and assured me it would be dealt with and wouldn’t happen to anyone again.

So AIBU to consider having a little trip into town tomorrow morning, finding the sniffing sales assistant and just politely ask her if she meant to be so rude she meant to spoil my day and embarrass me to the core then she should be wholeheartedly congratulated as it worked a treat. And tell her that I hope after head office and the store manager are finished with her that she feels half as rotten as I felt yesterday morning. Then just wish her a happy new year and smile and leave.

Or am I just being childish and petty and should leave it at the written complaint and the 2 phone calls?

Yikes OP, well I'm genuinely sorry for you that it upset you so much, and maybe there was more in the shop assistant's manner that got to you (which we can't see in text).

If the worst treatment I had in a shop in my entire life rated a 3. Yesterday rated a 9. It was horrible. Horrible. I didn’t hear anything being said in the queue behind me. My friend did. It wasn’t nice. It was all about chancers making dodgy returns, worn items being returned, must smell of BO, you always get these chancers after Christmas kind of comments. Glad I was too busy getting the actual refund to hear any of this. My friend did hear it, and she knew it was (inadvertently) her fault. Though it was never her fault. It was the lack of discretion and the rudeness of the SA.

But honestly, your wish to exact revenge on her so disproportionately just makes you seem like quite a horrible person (and I'm quite a horrible person myself, so just saying). It's as though you feel you are worth so much more than her that even a minor transgression against you must be punished with full might. Just, bleugh.

That’s why I AIBU-ed that bit and agreed straight off that it was childish, petty, vindictive -call it what you want. So yes, I agree I am unreasonable and spiteful to think of confronting the SA, I admitted that pages back. But really, is a 30 second polite but pointed confrontation of “I really didn’t like your attitude, you were very rude” after you receive extremely poor service now considered REVENGE? Really? Revenge? Is that not as extreme as you’re accusing me of being? (said nicely, I am not trying to confront you, lol. )

All said with the best of intention. I don't intend to upset you but give you some honest feedback with which to reflect upon yourself, because there is a reason you are getting such negative lashback here.

No offence taken at all. In fact I am sat here kind of shaking my head wondering why someone who appears as reasonable as you do would see my wanting to confront as a form of revenge? Revenge is such a strong word, I laugh at it from the hysterical types with their “do you want her to get 30 lashes” type of people. But I do worry why an apparently normal person would view my idea of confrontation as some form of revenge. That’s given me a whole other something to think about. So yes, reflect I shall.

AngryGinger haha, that's more or less how I was picturing the OP and her chain-smoking, Jo-Malone-wearing friend.

OP if you know the manager and staff after this scene i think they can refuse to serve you in future, no matter what friendly terms you had been on before.

In fact if I were you I'd be ashamed to show my face there again after your proposed complaining.

OP - gonna quote Yoda here "batshit crazy you are!".

If you can't see that in your OP by going back to store today, complaining etc to the higher beings of the store etc that that is NOT revenge then I am quite seriously worried about you!

What a ridiculous overreaction. Have you no other worries in your life?

It was horrible. Horrible. I didn’t hear anything being said in the queue behind me. My friend did. It wasn’t nice. It was all about chancers making dodgy returns, worn items being returned, must smell of BO, you always get these chancers after Christmas kind of comments. Glad I was too busy getting the actual refund to hear any of this. My friend did hear it, and she knew it was (inadvertently) her fault. Though it was never her fault. It was the lack of discretion and the rudeness of the SA

The SA is not responsible for what people in the queue said. She. Was. Doing. Her. Job. Your friend sounds like a vicious shit-stirrer. If you couldn't hear the comments, why did she bother telling you about them?

Someone else's smoke does smell vile OP

I'd hate to buy anything that had any trace of it on it

Second hand smoke is also the reason for an emphysemic patch on my lung, despite me never having so much as even laid a finger on a cigarette my entire life

Vile, nasty habit

You have a friend who smells of chip fat? Does said friend know this?

You are deluded op.... that store manager does not pride himself on anything other than sales sales sales.... he'll be in competition with the other branches in his region and will have a scorecard of complaints to keep to a minimum.... hence him telling you what you want to hear to pacify you

Sales love, that's all he cares about, his sales v budget!

OP if you'd bothered to return the items yourself without your friend you wouldn't have got this scenario.

Usually there's a 28-30 day return period or 14 days eg in House of Fraser etc...

Surely you could've waited until then. And yes I do think you're a bit thick if you don't realise cigarette smoke transfers.

You literally stated that you wanted a black mark against the woman's name. How can you not see that those words suggest you want 'revenge'

I think this post is a windup and I'm usually wary of troll hunting.

Jeez this is a rollercoaster of a thread!

Of course it is revenge. You have already complained. She will be dealt with in the professional capacity by her organization. You have received an apology. You got what you wanted.

You want to hound her personally, gloat over any disciplinary action and harass her in her place of work. If I were in her position and you did that I'd be calling the police. It is nasty and rather frightening.

As an aside, I , like many others , would not buy anything that smelt of smoke or anything else. I wouldn't have given you your money back.

OP, if this is the most humiliating thing to have happened to you, I'm envious. You've complained to head office and the manager, confronting the SA will just make you look unhinged. She's probably dealt with 50 or more customers and might not even remember you.

I used to work in a place that accepted catalogue returns and we were supposed to open the parcel to check the item hadn't been worn before sending it back. Inside one customers parcel were 9 pairs of very obviously 'worn' & 'marked' knickers, that they wanted to send back as 'unsuitable'. I don't think any of bothered with the 'sniff test'.

If the worst treatment I had in a shop in my entire life rated a 3. Yesterday rated a 9. It was horrible. Horrible. I didn’t hear anything being said in the queue behind me.

Ok, if that's the case, and this is genuinely a one-off seriously rude sales assistant and not your usual reaction, then I have more sympathy for your position. We weren't there, and we didn't see how she was, and sometimes people can come across extremely hostile and get our backs up.

So yes, I agree I am unreasonable and spiteful to think of confronting the SA, I admitted that pages back. But really, is a 30 second polite but pointed confrontation of “I really didn’t like your attitude, you were very rude” after you receive extremely poor service now considered REVENGE? Really? Revenge? Is that not as extreme as you’re accusing me of being?

I think the fact that you considered it says something really bad about your character, something I would try to weed out if I were you (and heaven knows I have my own weeding to do). Yes, I call it revenge because of the disproportionality of it. You've already taken what I would consider excessive measures (the written complaints etc), and then seeing her face-to-face just to rub it in that extra little bit speaks of petty revenge, and a little gleeful sadism. (Sort of like: "Ha! See I can hurt you too!")

So there's that element, and then the seemingly over-inflated sense of self (ie. other people might smell, but how could she possibly think I might? ).

Not nice OP, just pretty yucky really. Maybe you want to change, maybe you don't, but there's more that stinks than cigarette smoke here.

I think you are winding everyone up now OP. I have a funny image in my head now though & it's a bit like Jennifer Saunders (you) and Joanna Lumley (your mate) from Ab Fab

I've stormed off out the house in a huff with dh tonight (despite having a child free night!!!) over something very petty.
But this is gold!
Jeez I thought I was petty

But really, is a 30 second polite but pointed confrontation of “I really didn’t like your attitude, you were very rude” after you receive extremely poor service now considered REVENGE? Really?

How would you feel if she came to find you to have a "polite but point d confrontation" about how she didn't like your attitude when you returned things that smelt of smoke?

No, you lot don't understand! She knows the manager! This changes everything OP.

I don’t know the manager. I am on nodding terms with him. I am in there a lot (once a week at least) and I buy a lot in there. I know him to see, he knows me to see. Many years ago (about 20 to be precise) before he even worked in retail, we were on a training course together (non-retail related). So we know each other very vaguely. I know of him and his management style and what the norms are in his store as 3 of my brother-in-law’s family work in that store. My BIL’s daughter, my neice, worked in that store up until about a year ago. That is how I have more than a passing notion of how he works and how he manages. I sincerely doubt he would think that someone who spends a lot of money in his store, has been doing so happily and without a single complaint for many years would suddenly become the customer from hell. But we’ll see.

It's all clear now.

It's the OP's attitude that stinks.

(The clothes? Not even relevant any more).

I took back knickers to M&S once, never even tried on. (And I wouldn't try on anything like that without a good old scrub with bleach first
The assistant turned them inside out and had a good look at the gusset. I was mortified but understood why. If she'd sniffed them, I think I'd have burst out laughing
I've taken lots of things back, never had anything else sniffed before now. But then, I look very clean (and I am) and I always smell very fragrant. I don't try things on if I feel at all sweaty or hot. I wait till I can get a shower first.
Maybe you look kinda minging

littleshirleybeans I flounced off to the other room about 45 minutes ago over something fairly minor but had to sneak back into the front room to show oh this.

This thread is almost as amusing as the ouija board one. Cant help wondering if the OP on this thread is the grandparent wanting to do the burning in that one.

I have worked in retail and this is how it goes:

Customer returns something because it does not fit.
Retail chain has trained staff to look at returns due to the multitude of returns via thefts and wear-once-and-returns.
Shop Assistant does something they are trained on (inc. the sniff test).
Customer goes bananas.
Shop Assistant explains (but is on the defensive because customer has already challenged their training, its Xmas and lots of people are just awful to shop assistants at this time of year).
Customer still on the yellow fruit.
Customer has small breakdown and heads home.
Customer calls Head Office. Depending on who answers HO may sound shocked because they dont know about the sniff test in training or may feign shock because they do now and are secretly pleased that a staff member, at this busy time, is remembering to do it. Each, however, will get off the phone as quickly as possible by telling customer what they want to hear.
Customer, now entering full Boudica mode and wanting to right the wrongs of generations, calls shop as well. Manager, in full knowledge of staff training and the sniff test, will say anything to placate Boudica.
Manager will then call shop assistant aside and remind them to try and do it discretely but well done for doing it.
Life goes on.
Customer may get a letter of apology and maybe even a voucher to encourage return to the shop.

(also, this thread is bound to end up in the Daily Mail for the comedy value of the OP).

So what exactly do you want to happen OP? The sales assistant to grovel on hands and knees apologising to you?

Your very very vague acquaintance to the manager has nothing to do with it. Nor has your perceived knowledge of their 'management style'!

Drip trip
Drip trap
Drip trip