To be sick of my lazy children?

[lilybetsy]

I am a single parent who works FT in a demanding job. I have three sons, 18, 14 and 11. I have just popped home for 5 mins between things at work. They have done NOTHING today, the dogs have not been our, the kitchen floor is filthy with mud. The dishwasher has not been emptied, let alone refilled, son #2 is sitting there with filthy DMs on - hence the fucking mud. I have just SCREAMED at them and now I feel like sobbing - I can't cope and i need a tiny bit if help, but they do nothing.

Help... WWYD?

Well the DMs would go in the bin if he hadn't cleaned the floor by the time I got back.

I can be pretty nasty if I lose the plot.

Were they planning to run round and do all the jobs half an hour before they thought you would be home, or so they have form for doing fuck all? If the latter, I would go with the suggestions to make it very clear what would be your minimum expectations by the time you get home. Removing wifi sounds like a good punishment for failure to pull their weight.

perhaps they have CBA or ODD or ILM

I've taken the router before, and now change the WiFi password, but I'm a real meanie and also change it at night too so the sods can't be up all night facetiming and such.

I don't think it's fair to scream at them all. For one, the eleven yr old doesn't deserve the same treatment as the 18 yr old, or the 14 yr old who has trampled mud everywhere.

I would have left the house saying, ds1, I need you to walk the dogs. Ds2, make sure the dishwasher is unloaded and loaded. Ds3, put the hoover round. Then, if I got home to find it wasn't done, an appropriate consequence would be handed out.

Mine are pretty well trained, but then they know that if it is a shit pit I'm likely to announce a 'big clean up day'. No one here likes a big clean up day It involves a marathon, all hands on deck, deep clean, where beds are stripped, drawers and cupboards are pulled out and no one rests until it's finished.

What are they normally expected to do? And what are the usual consequences if they don't do it?

Each night change the wi-fi password. Don't release the wi-fi password untill photo evidence of completed jobs has been sent to you at work

This. I used to do something similar, albeit in those days mine were on ethernet rather than wifi. I started do it to manage their access when younger but as they got older it was also a good way to ensure chores/homework were done and that they were not up all night.

If it sounds tedious - get an app to manage/generate passwords for you. If you can access remotely and lock them out of the router then just disable the wifi completely and re-enable it remotely when you have the evidence.

Used to work a charm.

When they were young teens I also showed them the firewall and proxy logs from the router so that they were aware it was possible for me to track every site they went to. Took them years to realise I wasn't doing it but did engender some useful conversations about how to stay safe and what kind of content they might find even unintentionally.

I take the Xbox controllers away and the TV controllers. Anything that they value really.
Works for a while until I yell again remind them they're slacking.

I'd get the 18yo on your side. Why should you be the baddie every time?
He's officially an adult and can start taking responsibility. The two younger ones would probably take to a cleaning rota etc. more readily if he's already shown he's willing to give it a try.
New Year, New Life, OP!

You want to sort this asap, OP. My cousin is 23, only him and my aunt left in the house. (I grew up there) Both work full time and he does NOTHING. She does his washing, his ironing, comes home and cooks his dinner at 7pm every night even when he's been off or on early. I wanted to strangle him on Christmas day. He went to the pub with my brother while she made dinner. I helped a bit with that, and laid the table, did the dishes as she served up each course. After the main, while he sat on his lazy arse, she called me and asked me to help with the dishes as if I was the one being lazy. She then had the cheek to joke about him just sitting in his bum, when it's in no way funny. During dinner she called from the kitchen asking if we had enough gravy. He said no, I said well feel free to go make some, and he said he would. Of course he didn't.

Please, please don't end up like her!

My mum used to cut the plug off my stereo when I was a teenager which I suppose is the same as turning the wifi off. My stereo ended up really close to the socket.

Sorry. That doesn't help but hopefully it made you smile.

thanks all. Sorry that I seemed to post twice several hours apart - no idea how that happened...

so, when I got home we had a chat. I apologised for screaming.

normally they are not bad. They are typical teenagers - see nothing but are willing enough to help if asked. The mud though the house is a new low - cause by a) new boots for both b) December c) new puppy (puppy cant help treading mud, but they can... d) me being at work and them at home....

But some seriously good ideas here for added leveridge. I have no idea how to change the wifi password, but will find out... wont affect phones tho?

I have an app to manage the WiFi. I change every night and release once tasks are done. They can access via mobile but given they are on capped contrcts that sorts itself out.