To ask for your best nicknames for friends/colleagues?

[GilMartin]

Met up with a former colleague just before Christmas and we started reminising. It made me chuckle thinking of some of the nicknames. Along with obvious ones like 'Dusty' Miller or 'Chalky' White, I've worked with colleagues with some great nicknames:

I've worked with a bloke who was always late and known as 'Simba' as he was the Lie-in King.

Another bloke (Harry) notorious for early swerves was known as half day Harry or the blacksmith (as he was always making a bolt for the door)

A bloke who tried to sleeze his way into the pants of any female colleague was known as Lawrence (of the Labia).

A woman who made up stories and fibbed compulsively was known as Billy (as in Billy Liar)

In another job a copper who was attached to our social work team who was winding down to retirement and would go to any lengths to avoid making an arrest and spent most of his shift in the bookies was known as 'the Gurkha' as he took no prisoners.

The one I feel really sorry for was a friend of my Granddad who was given the first initials W.C. so was known by all and sundry for 70 years as Shithouse Smith.

Anyone got any similar examples?

The Poison Dwarf was named after a character in a soap opera, and she fucking deserved it.

Only Knobhead, Twatface, Wankstain etc

sock I know a Bungle too who is a sound engineer. I'd forgotten about him.

One of the Nurses in work sometimes calls me Cruella. I'm a Doctor's Receptionist and I have refused to hold any baby having it's jabs because it's Mother would be too upset. Why would you want your child being held by a stranger whilst a Nurse sticks a needle in it? I don't do babies anyway.

My mother is called the terrier by her colleagues because she grabs onto something pointless and won't let go, like an irritating little dog with the cuff of your trousers.

DH worked for a paper where some of his colleagues were written about in Private Eye. One of them was always described as sweaty. DH thought it was because he sweated the details/small stuff - bless him - it was actually because it is nicer than calling him pit stains or stinky.

Only in my head, but 'Cupid Stunt' for someone I have no respect for. They wear very short skirts and persist in crossing and uncrossing their legs. All in the best possible taste though ;)

A rather butch colleague of mine called Rona was affectionally known as TestosteRona...never to her face though....

I used to know this Irish fella, he gave people nicknames while made reference to their physical attributes. Among his mates were Tall Pete, Limping Jenny and Blind Sue. Sounds a bit rude, but he claimed it was an Irish thing...

There used to be a 'Rottweiler' at my job but that was before my time. She lived on in anecdotes though.

Among friends we had a lot of Daves so they became known as Something Dave and we'd insert the characteristics.
... off the top of my head we had Dave The Geordie, Dave from Game, Comedy Dave, Big Dave, Bald Dave... nothing crushingly original. We had an Ickle Dave who wasn't actually called Dave but looked like a smaller version of one of the Daves so the nickname stuck.

Some of DHs friends have nicknames so appalling I cannot even repeat them here. One chap is known as Lando after Lando Calrissian but he's also known as Token...

I had a friend known a yo yo knickers...

I worked with a woman who had a really rubbish boob job. We called her Shit Tits.

My husband worked with a bloke called Wayne Bruce. AKA ManBat...

Place-marking. Loving this thread.

Manbat, Rona, Simba and Blacksmith made me laugh out loud.

I used to work with three chefs at the same time all called Tam. They were known as Big Tam, Wee Tam and Scro Tam (its better if you say it out loud) 😉

We have someone known as the Poison Dwarf where I work EXA

I have a colleague nicknamed 'Princess' (everything has to be set up for her convenience because she is clearly so much more important than everyone else. Also nothing is ever her fault - someone else is always in the wrong).

I knew a bloke with the surname Lowry, which in his Belfast accent sounded the same as he said the word lorry. His mates called him Truck

Kermit and Miss Piggy because they really do look like them.

I have 3 female managers at work 2 of whom make my life hell ( I suffer with anxiety) they are known as the Eastwicks now by my close friends

My dp works with " Paul DVD " and " young Dave " who has been there around ten years and is older than him

I used to work with a "twatface" and had to remind myself of his real name constantly!

Yes mr customer I will pass you over to my supervisor, twatface, doesn't sound too good.

My old boss is short and ginger. We call him the red dwarf.

I accidentally nicknamed a colleague 'Whybird' because she was a fucking know it all nightmare enthusiastic about being correct, she'd tap things into the computer with her beak and start chuntering on about whatever it was she was right about. It got tedious.

We have a Mount Etna, we just don't know when he may erupt next from all the pressure (of the really non pressured job)

I worked with a woman called Lisa, who was a bit if a complainer - Moaning Lisa.

We had two Johns in the same department. They were known as Nice John and Stupid John. Not to their faces obviously.

Used to work for a family owned business. Family in question had a surname beginning with Mac and the father and son were large men. We called the Dad Big Mac and the son Quarter Pounder.

DH and I have a nickname for a friend of a friend who likes the sun and sunbeds quite a lot... 'oh, I saw Leatherface in town today...' 😏
A relative of mine used to have nicknames for everyone he met. He referred to his BIL and SIL as Dickhead and Jolene 😁