To think no one should be expecting me to attend this get together?

[Noofly]

I had an emergency gallbladder removal last Friday and went home on Christmas Eve. I was really quite unwell when admitted to hospital but am recovering much more quickly than I thought I would!

On Christmas Day I was really sore and tired and just wanted to stay home but I was persuaded to go through to MILs for Christmas dinner with the promise that I could just be stuffed up with pillows etc on a sofa. So I was carted along to the ILs and got there to find that no one had bothered to mention to us that BIL had a nasty chest infection. Not a bit of a cough here and there- full on coughing and spluttering away, right into his hand which then was touching everything. DH stuck me in a far corner and we stayed for the bare minimum we could get away with for the children and to keep everyone happy. If I'd known BIL had a chest infection, there's no way I would have gone!

Tomorrow is the annual big extended family get together. I'm feeling an awful lot better but I'm still not allowed to drive and I'm still sore and I'm still tired. There seems to be a remarkable amount of surprise by DH's family that I'm not going- like astonishment that I'm not well. The expectation seems to be that they bundle me up again, cart me along and stuff me on a sofa again. My stomach still looks like it's 6 months pregnant and my incisions are where my trousers would sit so I'm still in pjs!

DH is going for a while (then has another event), bringing the DC with him.

Surely no one would expect someone not even a week post surgery to attend a family get together?

[AliceInUnderpants]

YANBU. I had emergency gall bladder removal a week before Xmas , and wasn't discharged until Xmas Eve. It was horrendous, and yet I was still expected to host for ex-h and his parents for a few hours in the morning. My mum expected me to still be able to do the food shop on Xmas Eve afternoon on the way home from the hospital (I did, but it was bloody madness) I think when so many surgeries are done keyhole these days, a lot of people don't consider them 'serious' enough, and think you can just pack your bag, come home and get on with things.
Take things easy, it took me a few weeks to feel even anything like human again

[KissingAFool]

Thanks everyone. My husband is really lovely and thoughtful normally but not over this. Just think because I was doing everything while his parents were here, he thinks that I was fully recovered...But no,. Just really love my in-laws and wanted to give them a good time.

[AlabasterSnowball]

it's still abdominal surgery though isn't it though and surely has the same implications? Risk if hernia, infection, torn stiches? not to mention recovery from GA
I've have abdominal surgery but not gallbladder removal so maybe I'm wrong. I know I was advised to do as little as possible during recovery to avoid futher surgery

[Noofly]

Alice I was supposed to be making an extra dessert for Christmas dinner and on Christmas Eve, on the way home from hospital, MIL at least told DH that I didn't need to worry about bringing a dessert because it was just extra anyway. DH responded with a "bloody right she's not worrying about making a dessert tonight!"

I do agree about the keyhole perception. I think some people think it means you just bounce out of hospital feeling 100%.

[Noofly]

Kissing I really feel for you. Other than the Christmas Day debacle, DH has been great. You really need to tell your DH you aren't fully recovered.

[CinnamonSteve]

I had a laparoscopic appendisectomy in Oct, was a good six weeks before I started feeling "normal". Stay at home and rest.

[SENPARENT]

Tell them you went out too soon on Christmas Day and have had a relapse and need to stay at home to recover.

[Millymollymanatee]

I had my gallbladder out on 31st November. I felt knackered for three weeks and off my food. After four weeks I felt a bit better every day. So it does take time. Please put yourself and your necessary recovery first and insist that you need to rest until you are completely better.

[Millymollymanatee]

*31st October.

[Lindy2]

No way. Just stay home and relax and recover. I've had my appendix out and hardly managed to leave my bed for the first week afterwards, let alone go visiting anyone.
If they ask where you are just say you are recovering from surgery.

[PinkSparklyPussyCat]

Some people recover quickly, others don't. I was in the latter group and was off work for 4 weeks and was still getting pain in the incision months later. Unfortunately because it's keyhole surgery many people think you'll be recovered within a couple of days. Go at your own pace and only do what you can manage.

[galaxygirl45]

You need to stay home, rest and let your body recover. And you don't need to make excuses, you are recovering from surgery and are perfectly justified in lounging around in your PJ's, not getting trussed up and going out to make other people feel better!!

[Headofthehive55]

The same op has gone on inside though! It's just the skin that's a keyhole incision!
I think this is a problem with going home earlier than you used to. People think you are well and it does take a lot longer to heal than you think.

[HicDraconis]

It's a very different operation inside if it's keyhole (laparoscopic) rather than open. It has the same result - the gallbladder is removed - but the tissue handling is completely different. Open is a much more significant physiological insult.

Noofly - just don't go. You don't want to, you won't enjoy it and that's all the justification you need.

[Headofthehive55]

I think people forget "hic" that it is indeed still an insult to the body although you can't see much from the outside. Surgery will have still taken place inside! All people react differently - I read a study on the recovery of patients having keyhole gallbladder surgery and patients reported much longer recovery times than is generally expected. Most "felt comfortable" doing day to day things like having a bath by three weeks.
It depends on how fit you are and what other medical issues you have.

[PinkSparklyPussyCat]

When I saw my GP after the operation I complained that I was still feeling crap and she told me I'd had 'a bloody big op' and I had to be patient (not one of my strong points!) and heal in my own time.

[Noofly]

Well I didn't go. I don't know if anything was said but I don't really care if anything was said.

I've got an appointment to see the treatment nurse later this morning. 3/4s of my right stomach feels great now but the incision under my chest is getting all swollen- all lumpy like. It's not inflamed and I'm not running a temperature but it's getting bigger not smaller. With the holiday weekend approaching I'd rather get it looked at now and be told it's normal rather than have it get worse over the weekend!

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

Good call on both counts. Hope it's nothing to worry about. x

[Millymollymanatee]

You're right to get it checked. I had the same problem with that cut. I think it's due to where it is. The doc checked mine and said it was ok. It just took longer to heal than the others. Take care OP and look after yourself .

[RaspberryOverloadTheFirst]

Just read this, and OP, hope it's nothing serious.

I do agree that many people feel that keyhole surgery is something you bounce back from instantly, but any surgery is still surgery, and needs recovery time.

It's the same thing when people assume a CS is somehow different to any other major abdominal surgery, that because it's for birthing a child you somehow recover instantly

OP, I think is was bad of them to subject you to BIL's chest infection, you certainly don't need that right now.

[Noofly]

It was nothing. Perfectly normal lumpiness under the incision.

I have to say, other than tenderness around the largest incision, I feel great today! Can't believe it's only been a week.

[dollydaydream114]

I had my gallbladder out a few years ago - yes, keyhole surgery is nowhere as bad as open surgery and you can get up and potter about the day after your op, but it can still be sore for a couple of weeks and some people find the anaesthetic makes them feel knackered for ages. Plus, I doubt you're getting much sleep as it's hard to find a comfy way to sleep when you've got stitches in your abdomen, so I'm sure you're feeling pretty tired and drained.

I'm usually relatively robust and have a super-high pain threshold, but I certainly wouldn't have wanted to attend parties or big get-togethers so soon after my op! And, like you, I couldn't wear much other than pyjamas or soft leggings and baggy tops at that point.

When I had mine done, the surgeon signed me off work for four weeks as a matter of course, even though I do a sedentary job, and she told me to see my GP before going back - and when the GP had asked me some questions and prodded my scars a bit, he actually signed me off for another fortnight. Oh, and anyone who has just had surgery should definitely be avoiding anyone with a chest infection! It's really bad that they didn't warn you about that.

Hope you feel better soon, OP!

[haveacupoftea]

Tell them you cant go because youve somehow contracted a chest infection.

[Banana25]

Literally only needed to read the first sentence of your OP to say you shouldn't be bloody going anywhere. Don't feel at all guilty for not going.

Really hope you feel better soon OP.

[Millymollymanatee]

Noofly I'm so glad you're feeling better but don't forget it's early days and your insides still have a long way to go. Do too much too soon and you'll regret it. Make the most of your recovery and milk it for some sympathy and waiting on.