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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want them back now !!! Wwyd?

20 replies

OopsDearyMe · 27/12/2016 20:45

Some of you know, thatmg 3 DC went on Boxing Day to spend time at my parents, I have been fairly NC since September, as I am still working through this whole narcissism tuning. I am almost sure mum is a narc, but that's another situation.

Kids are due bk Friday,yesterday was fine I did housework, had a bath,nice drink and late night. But today for some reason I slept like I have never done before I woke up at seven thirty this evening !!!!! Never have I done this in my life. I expect its because when the children are here I don't ever sleep deeply for fear of them needing me.

So I am not sure if its this sleep and out of routine weirdness or just because its so deafeningly quiet. But I want my kids home. I hate it and I'm feeling a bit scared for some reason. I just do not like it.

Aibu to ask for them to come home early?

Wwyd?

OP posts:

Original poster

OopsDearyMe · 27/12/2016 20:48

I should say that they went at half ter for five days and it was fine.it might be because its this time of year ?

OP posts:

GTS · 27/12/2016 20:50

Assuming that you've spoken to them and they are having a nice time, l would make the most of the peace and quiet tbh. You clearly needed the rest, and could possibly use some more. I don't like it when my kids are not here for more than one night (which hardly ever happens) and it freaks me out, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't happen. Leave them be. Open another bottle and put your feet up! x

rhuhbarb4 · 27/12/2016 20:52

If you know they are safe then i would try to kick back and relax a bit however i guess your funny feeling is because you are nc with your mother. At the end of the day they are your children and you can ask for them back or you can try to relax whichever is best for you.

Fairenuff · 27/12/2016 20:55

Why are you letting your narc mother have sole control of your dc? Get them back asap!

Original poster

OopsDearyMe · 27/12/2016 21:13

They are not solely with my mother, they are in a house with my mother, father and brother.visiting other family members. I am NC with my mum due to an incident, since then I have become aware of narcissism and think this may be the root of our issues. As I said before she had them at half term without issue.

OP posts:

Fairenuff · 28/12/2016 14:46

But the bottom line is that you are NC with your mother for your own wellbeing yet you are allowing her access to your children. Maybe you feel that you have to but really you don't.

If you now think she is a narcissist, there is even more reason not to subject your children to that. Presumably she is calling the shots and the other relatives won't challenge her or protect your children.

I would get them home and make sure they were never in that position again.

BertrandRussell · 28/12/2016 14:49

Were the children happy to go? Having fun?

KathArtic · 28/12/2016 14:49

Mine are teens and out all the time. I don't feel relaxed until they are home (safe). It doesn't feel right if the dog isnt home either. It's mothering instincts.

Expellibramus · 28/12/2016 14:52

I think that might not be right that you slept all that time. Do you mean you went to bed in the evening and slept through without waking to the following evening?

pippinchipeater · 28/12/2016 14:56

Hang on..you went to bed on Monday night and woke up Tuesday evening??

BlueFolly · 28/12/2016 15:09

How old are the children?

RainbowJack · 28/12/2016 15:12

If the kids are happy I think you should let them enjoy their time. Bringing them back because of your own feelings of loneliness is selfish.

Foxysoxy01 · 28/12/2016 15:27

How long have you slept? It reads like Monday night and then woke up Tuesday night so a full 24 hrs asleep?
If so then that's not right, you need to phone 111 and see what they say. (Unless you have a known medical condition)

I imagine the feeling scared and out of sorts is probably just a touch of anxiety and it might be worth some deep breathing if you start to feel a bit overwhelmed and maybe get up and move around/cook/clean/go for walk/watch some tv, just to stop fixating on the anxious feelings.

The kids I'm sure are ok but if you want some reassurance could you text them?

pipsqueak25 · 28/12/2016 15:37

how old are the dc ?

peggyundercrackers · 28/12/2016 15:50

leave them be and deal with your own anxiety issues.

don't listen to the people driving your anxiety when they say your mother will be controlling them, they are just winding you up.

BlueFolly · 28/12/2016 16:05

You want them back for your own happiness, not theirs.

Megatherium · 28/12/2016 16:06

I expect you feel odd just because you've slept too much and too deeply, and your body clock is out of kilter. I think you should leave the children where they are and use the time to have a good rest and sort yourself out.

lovelearning · 28/12/2016 16:09

you are NC with your mother for your own wellbeing yet you are allowing her access to your children

OP. Why the anomaly?

BertrandRussell · 28/12/2016 16:21

There are people in my life who I loathe and who are not good for me emotionally, but who my children love and who love my children and who I would trust with them.

Jux · 28/12/2016 16:21

If they're enjoying themselves then I think, even if your mum is ruling everyone and is a narc, then you'll cause more trauma bringing them back early than letting them stay and see all their relatives etc.

Presumably, they will see whatever your mum does, and when they get home you can explain any strangeness for them and reassure them that it's not right or normal. Then don't send them again.

Flip