To ask for lifestyle advice - I'm desperate and miserable.

[DreamCloud99]

I have ME.
I have 5 year old twins.
I work part time.

It's been a rubbish year with my illness and I feel the debilitating effects of it every single day.

I'm feeling so down and miserable .

I'm overweight . Weak from doing nothing most of the time . I have no hobbies . I don't do anything for myself .

I want to make 2017 a year of achievement ! But I don't know how it will work realistically because my illness means I'm exhausted permanently .

If anyone can help me fathom out a plan I'd be very grateful

These are the barriers I find and need some solutions to :

Cooking healthy meals
I'm usually so exhausted so cooking is not a priority - I end up ordering take out or eating bits of rubbish .

Would I be better off buying ready made casseroles etc to serve with frozen mash and veg - are these healthy?

This would save me time and most importantly energy .

Exercise
My muscles are weak and painful. I struggle to walk far and I often can't muster the energy to drive somewhere to train / work out (I would be exhausted off the drive itself ).

I need a gentle but worthy exercise routine which will condition my muscles - any tips ?

ME Time
When the twins are in bed , I tend to veg out and watch TV. I want to do something meaningful and fun (but also conserve my energy) .

Any ideas ?

With this illness it is very important that I don't overdo it or it ends up with me being completely wiped out, lethargic and snappy as well as all of the other joys ME brings with it .

I'm so miserable though I need to get out of this wallowing!

Help please !

Ease up on yourself jn terms of expectations. Try to work out exactly what actually adds you your happiness tank rather than what you feel should. Jn terms of food preparation there's lots of ways to cheat - frozen veg, pre chopped stuff slow cooker or just cooking things in the oven. I think home prepped food does give you more control over nutritition. Cutting out sugar can help you do less rollercoasting - tryingvto crank yourstlf out of tiredness usung sugar snd caffirne. Exercise again dvds or daily routine stuff can help like walking to work.
Fatigue is so unpredictable tho that you need lots of patience. Trial and error I feel it's so hard to eotk out shat really helps also the time of day for exercise seems to change how it affects you.

Think of the other stuff you need. Friends - can people come over and you have take out together. Watch shows on TV and chat. Finding ways of being focial tbat rork with your me csn resllt help you feel more buoyed up. Hobbies are the same but again it's finding something that really works for you Support groups can help you think of new ways round your problems and inspire you in ways that are realistic. You are managing a lot with twins and work. How about trying anti depressants like fluoxitine to see if it helps. My h uses thus ti cope better with ms related fatigue. He still needs rests but is more up in between his rests. That makes a big difference

Oh lawd I need to sort my auto correct. I hope you can decipher my post!

I had ME and the things that helped me were:

Swimming
Eating LOTS of veg - spinach omelettes, stir fries, roasted ready-bought veg - nothing that needed lots of prep
Massage
Lots and lots and lots of rest

I don't think you need to justifying begging in front of the TV if you're raising twins and going a part time job with ME!

I have a 12yo DD and in the last 6 months have gone from part to full time work and become a single mum. I also have a very underactive thyroid which is nowhere near as problematic as ME but can be a bugger from time to time.

You need to try and put your wellbeing first as much as possible and don't worry about taking shortcuts. I always used to cook from scratch but these days I just cba most of the time. Tesco do some lovely prepared dishes for £3.50 each or 2 for £6 which you can pop straight in the oven and serve with fresh veg.

Definitely buy as much as you can afford ready prepared, meal plan and get it delivered. We're living with my parents atm but the first thing I'll do when we move out is pay for an annual delivery package at the supermarket!

I'm no expert on exercise but swimming, pilates and yoga would probaby be a good start. Don't be lulled into a false sense of security if you see 'body balance' advertised at your local leisure centre - I tried it once and it was harder work than Zumba!

Hobbies cross stitch, knitting, crochet, colouring, mindfulness meditation.

Check out local pottery cafes if that might interest you - ours does an evening session once a month - cost is whatever pottery you want to paint plus £5 booking fee which includes proper coffee, tea or hot chocolate and a generous slab of cake.

If you want something more mind expanding - TV or radio documentaries, non-fiction books and autobiographies, TED talks and online book clubs are worth a try.

vegging in front of the TV!

I've had me for the last 3 years and the best things I've done in the last year is to attend therapy to help me come to terms with living with a long term chronic illness and all the limitations it brings. I haven't used it because I've been depressed, but more as an aid for acceptance.

I haven't quite fully accepted it, but I've started taking more care of myself, and more importantly, stopped beating myself up for the things I can no longer do.

Re: exercise. Be very careful with this. Anything that raises your heartbeat for too long will have massive implications for payback /post exertional malaise. Try and find a beginners hatha yoga as a starting point.

I find sewing /crochet gives a sense of achievement.

But most importantly - not feeling guilty about the sheer amount of rest you need - especially with 5yo twins.

I think I've seen some of your previous posts over the last few months so can't remember if you're on any medication.

If you're not then see your gp and ask about better pain relief. I'm on nortriptyline for pain relief which also has the benefit of putting me into a deeper more restorative sleep allowing my body to heal a bit better overnight. This will singlehandedly increase your quality of life. I couldn't walk from the bedroom to the bathroom before I started taking it.

Walking - best exercise there is. Download some audiobooks or podcasts to listen to one the way.

Do you like roasted veg? You can buy those trays of precut or bags. Mix with some feta cheese, roll up in a flatbread. Or make a 'wizza'

Do you have an Iceland near you? Its changed recently - loads of bags of frozen veg mixes and yummy bean mixes.

Banana, frozen raspberry & frozen spinach makes a really lovely smoothie.

As for hobbies, I'm struggling with that myself! Netflix is my main Hobbie! Thinking of learning piano or jewellery making

Posting but too tired to read now. Also have ME but didn't realise clicking on your link. But feel similarly. I've become obese and tired. I can't manage work at the moment and never quite know how to manage the me/cfs or if I'm depressed or how to sort the meals /weight as that would help everything else!

Another option for veg is pulse in a food processor to chop for soup or casseroles.
We've just got DS1 a second hand keyboard of eBay. That is a fulfilling activity that isn't too physically demanding.

Op, I assume that you get all your shopping delivered rather than drag yourself around shops. As pp have said you can buy most veg ready chopped. Also, grated cheese, prepared salads and pre cooked salmon and chicken make life much easier.

Pp who suggest walking or swimming have no idea what living with chronic fatigue actually means. I would be wiped out getting to a swimming pool, let alone taking clothes off, putting on a swimming costume and then walking from the changing room to the pool. A basic level Pilates or yoga DVD would be better at building muscle strength without overdoing it.

Op, you are doing brilliantly to be working with young DC while living with ME!

Have you tried the Yoga for ME dvd? Think it's fiona agombar. You can do that from home.

Good luck. ME is a bastard. You sound like you are doing well.

I would consider prioritising your recovery.

Sounds like you are doing really well. Tips are as much fresh food as possible. Reduce refined grain and sugar based foods that contain little nutrition. Drink lots of water or herbal teas to keep hydrated. Do things that you enjoy. You may need to rediscover what those are.

I think you sound bloody amazing.

Rude cross stitch might be a fun thing to do whilst vegging in front of TV. It's easy, cheap and very, very satisfying. And it makes good presents.

And not all TV is 'bad' - why not try BBC 4 docs or something different that's a bit more interesting?

Back late to the thread sorry

Thankful for all of the replies and I'm starting to read through them - it's taking a while as I'm not too well at the moment !

While you are slowing on an evening what about learning a language? (or revisiting one you did at school)

Duolingo is a fab app, 5 minutes a day and you can make a great start, then YouTube for content in that language. Minimal effort but you can feel dead proud of yourself.

view where can you get rude cross stitch? Am quite tempted by that idea!

I'm sure I've seen rude cross stitch patterns on etsy throwing