about MIL taking ds to the carnival

[kiki22]

He's 4 and would love the carnival that's on over Christmas here so we were planning to take him but only if my back payment of child benefit comes in because we are skint after christmas they have said it will come this week (I'm owed for 6 weeks for ds2). MIL has called this morning to ask to take him on Thursday I've said i will speak to do but I really wanted to take him.

My AIBU is he might miss out if my payment doesn't come in so should I let him go with MIL so he doesn't miss out? He doesn't know anything about it so he wouldn't know unless she told him. She's quite well off compared to us and has often taken him to things I would have liked to take him too before I've saved the money for it I feel like this time I want to be the one to do it with him even if it means waiting until next year.

Sorry about the drip feeding ds2 has hit the 4 month sleep regression coupled with Christmas I'm shattered and not thinking straight. He really only sees her once a month so I just let him go as he loves it. DP always backs me 100% his answer was no we will take him end of.

I've txt her saying we are waiting for money to come then taking him they can join us if they like.

Your MIL sounds terribly unpleasant and I am not sure I would want my son spending much time with her.

It is clear this is about a or more than a single carnival ticket.

Posters who say just let her take him are missing the point IMHO, she is clearly a miserable cow!

In your shoes I would not let her take him.

If I could afford to do it, I would do it, if not I would take him next year.

I'd also tell DH that we (me and my DH) needed a chat with MIL and agree what to say. Hopefully what to say would be to clear the air that the way she is treating you and making you feel is unpleasant.

MIL can say her bit but bottom line is she needs to start playing nicely or you and your son will be seeing a lot less of her.

Or maybe I am just a rude cow!

My mother in law is amazing and in 18 years has never done it said anything hurtful. So I have nothing agaong MILs per say!

Great cross posted OP . Glad you made that decision.

Spending money on your kids, spending time with your kids, hesterton, is a treat for parents. Why should grandparents get to rob parents of that because they have more money! In a fair family grandparents get to do some stuff, parents other stuff. It is clear this is something the mum wants to rivalry her child, that seems fair.

Do not rivalry!!!

Thats a good outcome and if she gets huffy then that is ok let her huff setting boundry from now on is the way to go imo just stop telling her things especially about money