AIBU to decline DD's gift?

[blondiemummabear]

Over the summer I experienced a missed miscarriage and at the time I genuinely thought I was going to die.

The day after having an operation during a text exchange with my Aunt she said "so, did they cut you open?". I was still in hospital and the message made me cry immediately. She's very nosy but I'm not sure why this is even relevant. I had just lost our baby, I was vulnerable and completely overwhelmed with the last 24 hours, so I ignored her. I ignored her message for her to then text me later on asking if I was home and if they had cut me open.

We've not really spoken since apart from when she text late one night calling me pathetic for removing her from Facebook. I hadn't, I had simply come off as I was struggling with life and didn't want the distraction (and I had a few friends announcing their pregnancies).

So for Christmas she has sent our DD £20 as a present. I really don't want my daughter having the money (I know that might sound ungrateful), she has had a lot of gifts and really doesn't need the money, I also don't want my Aunt having anything to do with her.

I will either give it to charity and tell her I have done this or post it back to her. AIBU to do this?

Yabu. Your aunt may be a cow, but now you're being a cow to your DD. "She doesn't need the money" FFS

Yes I think just taking it to the bank and sticking it in your DD's savings will be fine.

I understand your impetus to have nothing to do with her, but as others have said, it's not YOUR gift, so you have no right to dispose of it.

As a slight aside - DS1 had some lovely christening presents, and when we moved abroad, DH decided that we didn't need to take them and should just sell them.
I wouldn't let him - they're not his to dispose of, they belong to Ds1 and he can do what he chooses with them when he's old enough! I was really shocked at his attitude, to be honest. :(

Texts weren't invented when I had my miscarriages but I can't imagine many people bothering to have texted me when I was in hospital after having them.

Her choice of words were a bit brutal but wasn't she just asking what kind of operation it was? ie showing an interest and trying to gauge how much physical pain you might be in?

"Cut open" is an old fashioned term for an surgical operation needing an incision, we used to use it all the time back in the day, and I don't think I would take offence at it - and I can take offence for England. God only knows what the old fashioned term for doing the operation without making the incision is.

I am very sorry for your loss by the way.