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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

am i over-reacting?

58 replies

mynachos · 25/12/2016 23:27

went out for christmas lunch with the family today, all going honky dory until waitress served the gravy. as she tried to put the boat on the table it touched my ds age 3 arm, resulting in a burn. df took him.off to the toilets to run it under the cold.tap. ds crying and upset. staff made effort to help. we wven had to ask for ice in a.towel so he could return to the table and finish dinner. they changed their tune when.i.asked for it to be recorded in their accident book. full of apologies then. eventually ds calmed down.after 10 minutes or so. we applied cream on it when we returned home and to be fair hes made no mention of it since. im totally gutted tho. feel it ruined the rest of the day for myself. i have told my partner i will ring the restaurant tomorrow to complain. he belives i shouldn't bother. Shall i bother? for reference the arm is very red and a blister has formed.......

OP posts:
NotStoppedAllDay · 26/12/2016 00:05

Well clearly you did!

KeptOnRaining · 26/12/2016 00:06

A table of 10. Unless they were nearly all children who puts very, very hot food down by a small child? That's stupidity, not an accident.

Do you have a photo of the blister?

MakaiTenjyo · 26/12/2016 00:07

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Floralnomad · 26/12/2016 00:08

You've had it put in the accident book so I don't see quite what ringing agin will achieve, hypothetically if they'd refunded the cost of his meal would you be feeling less aggrieved ?

Judydreamsofhorses · 26/12/2016 00:14

As a student I waitressed, and on a very busy day once tipped an entire tray of drinks in a woman's lap. She wasn't hurt, but she was wearing a cream suit. I actually burst into tears afterwards because I was so upset and embarrassed, but the lady was absolutely lovely - she bought me a drink to settle my nerves! I think accidents happen, the waitress probably feels terrible that your son was hurt, and there's not a huge amount to gain from complaining - what would you like to happen?

MrsMcMoo · 26/12/2016 00:15

It sounds like an accident. I wouldn't take it further. It must have been really stressful and upsetting, but I don't think you have to write off the whole day. I bet there were other bits that were good. Xx

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 26/12/2016 00:16

Don't restaurants have burn kits? I would have thought the first thing they would do is go and get one for your son's arm. Hope he's perked up now and there's no lasting damage.

SalemSaberhagen · 26/12/2016 00:21

How notstopped?! Sending him away from the table every time something hot was brought out in case the waitress burnt him? Don't be so ridiculous.

sunshinesoph155 · 26/12/2016 00:25

The poor waitress probably feels really guilty.

There was a post on here the other day about a woman who was involved in an incident with a strangers toddler burning themselves on a straightener and the poor thing was tearing her hair out.

Please don't make further complaints as she could even be sacked.

MiddleClassProblem · 26/12/2016 00:26

I reckon the waitress feels like shit about. It's just an accident. Don't ring and focus on him. I hope he's ok x

JenLindleyShitMom · 26/12/2016 00:31

Sending him away from the table every time something hot was brought out in case the waitress burnt him? Don't be so ridiculous.

Yes your suggestion was ridiculous and not what anyone would do. Very easy to place your arm across the child and make them sit back while hot stuff is being set down, telling them to keep their hands back as it's hot. I do it with mine all the time because umm accidents happen.

Illstartexercisingtomorrow · 26/12/2016 00:42

Op yes you are over reacting.

But you said you've had a crap year so I reckon you're feeling upset because you just didn't - and maybe generally don't - feel taken care of very well.

I would be upset if that happened. But how upset would depend on my general mood over that period.

Oh also - I always ask waiting staff not to put hot things near dd. Maybe do that if you can next time.

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo · 26/12/2016 00:44

I think YABU too. It was an accident. I'm not sure what you hope to achieve by complaining. I expect the waitress will have been quite upset about it and will probably be much more careful. I would certainly feel very guilty if I did this, even though it was an accident.

You will presumably supervise more closely too. So hopefully the waitress won't do anything like that again and it won't happen to your son again either.

My mum used to do what JenLindley suggests. To be honest she still goes to do it now sometimes and stops herself. Just like she occasionally grabs my hand when we are crossing the road together, despite me being an adult. It's obviously very deeply ingrained after many years. My mum is a worrier so she was always extra careful about any possible hazards.

Grilledaubergines · 26/12/2016 00:49

He was upset for ten minutes and you let it ruin the whole day. That is your fault whereas the incident with the waitress was an accident.

JustHereForThePooStories · 26/12/2016 00:52

You're overreacting. Unless you want to start practicing your Daily Fail compo face?

JenLindleyShitMom · 26/12/2016 00:52

To be honest she still goes to do it now sometimes and stops herself. Just like she occasionally grabs my hand when we are crossing the road together, despite me being an adult.

Mine still does this too! As does my granny to my mum! Grin

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo · 26/12/2016 00:53

Grin I'm glad it's not just me!

JustanotherMortificado · 26/12/2016 00:55

No you aren't over reacting, I'd be pretty pissed off too as she wasn't taking care with hot stuff. Unless he was waving his arms about or something, then she is at fault I would take it further!

NotStoppedAllDay · 26/12/2016 00:58

Take it further for what??

Money I expect Hmm

Original poster
mynachos · 26/12/2016 00:59

illstartexercising tomorrow., your bang on. i have let it affect me more than i should as im not on a good place.at the minute. not for one minute do i want to get the waitress into trouble. i just felt customer service was extremly lacking. if they had just maybe made a little bit of a fuss of him. told him.he was a brave boy. asked what santa brought him,gave him a balloon or something. help take his mind off it. something....anything.

OP posts:
RichardBucket · 26/12/2016 01:03

mynachos They probably thought his parents and family were better placed to make a fuss of him than them.

The waitress apologised, they brought you what you asked for, and no doubt she will never put something hot near a child ever again. If your partner is happy to let it go, they can't have been that callous and uncaring towards your boy. What do you hope to achieve with a complaint?

Just how hot was this gravy?!

user1477282676 · 26/12/2016 01:03

As someone who has managed restaurants, I would definitley have given a full refund to you all and probably something extra for your son if you had agreed....something like a very fancy looking dessert for being brave.

Sounds like shit management to me.

We used to waive the bill if anyone had to wait a long time for instance.

brasty · 26/12/2016 01:04

I am sorry you have had a crap year, but yes YABU. It was an accident.
And the only treatment for a burn like that is running under cold water. When I was a fully qualified first aider I would have refused to give you ice in the circumstances you describe. Neither ice or cream should be used.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 26/12/2016 01:05

Accidents happen. Your kid is ok. Why take it any further? You'll end up getting her disciplined for an honest mistake.

Fireside90 · 26/12/2016 01:14

Well they shouldn't have charged you for meal after that. Not if they care about you as customers I.e. want you to return any time. If you're not planning on going back there anyway? Then you don't have much to lose by complaining. However not much to gain either. They may not offer anything or they may offer another meal free of charge if you return again. Which personally I'd just find awkard after complaining and worry they didn't like me. Basically I know you're upset and I don't think they handled it well afterwards. If it was my restaurant I'd be eager to make amends in some way for an accident. But I just don't think complaining will achieve all that much. Of course it's up to you and yeah they may take your comments on board or may not.