AIBU for disliking my sly inlaws?

[omomom]

To cut long-story short, because of things in the past I have decided to stay cordial,but not close to the in-laws. They have done all sorts, from making me work all day in their house when we were staying with them & FIL house to coming to my house to have a go at me for something MIL told him about, which wasn't true.

They came around and sort of apologised but I drew a line and maintained a distance. Fast forward few months MIL (who is very sly) has been trying to invite us for lunch, tea, dinner and all sorts. I have very politely refused.
On Christmas Eve ,they came under the pretext of visiting and slowly started to ask if we could have food together for Christmas. I politely refused as they don't celebrate Christmas and I didn't want go.
My husband (who has exactly same grievances as me) some how always ends up on their side by saying " he believes in giving people chance"

They came in the afternoon had food they had bought. Had a laugh with my husband and amongst them selves. While I sat there watching all this unfold. My husband thinks it's their way of apologising. We had a massive row.
I am just numb and speechless . Please tell me AIBU?

What was their most terrible crime?

Bringing food or talking and laughing?

Op I understand. Am in a similar situation.

The point is - they (and your dh) are ready to move on. You are not. Which is understandable given you were the recipient of whatever grievances occurred. You need time and space and your boundaries to be respected.

From their point of view they are trying to edge towards some version of normality. Of course it is much easier to do this if you've been dishing out the crap and not been on the receiving end.

You are likely to come out of this looking like a frigid cow. And I suspect there may be a degree of minimising going on from dh under the lines of oh well they apologised what have you got to be upset about now. Your feelings aren't being valued as much as everyone else's, because your feelings are inconvenient.

Bottom line - it doesn't matter if we think yabu or not. You and your dh need to be able to discuss this with the capacity to respect each other's differing feelings. I hope you manage to do this.

*The point is - they (and your dh) are ready to move on. You are not. Which is understandable given you were the recipient of whatever grievances occurred. You need time and space and your boundaries to be respected.

From their point of view they are trying to edge towards some version of normality. Of course it is much easier to do this if you've been dishing out the crap and not been on the receiving end.*

That's how I read it too. Plus, they behaved like asses turning up uninvited and unwanted (remember the invite to spend Xmess together was declined) to the OPs house, with food (no matter what the OP wanted).

This suggests strongly that their version of normality does not include actually respecting the OP's boundaries in way.

Undercover slavery thing, OP?

I think we'd need more info before deciding if YABU or not. Especially as they seem to want to make amends so much.

Not getting what they've done wrong either.

I think if you're determined not to like someone then you'll find a way to justify it.

Confused. Watching what unfold?
Y may not be BU to hold a grudge if all the previous stuff is truly awful but the events of today aren't so it's really hard to say

YABU. Unless you have an actual reason that they pissed you off.

This problem seems to live with you rather than anyone else.

I am sorry you're upset though. Maybe you could think about what they did to upset you? Stick to facts, ignore feelings for now. You need to be more objective.