I think I bought a crap present :(

[Mistykit]

I feel awful. I bought my boyf (of 4 months) a box of rare chillies & hot sauces. He's with his family so he didn't open it in front of me... guessing he opened it before he went home. He hasn't said thanks or acknowledged it :(. He loves chillies hence the gift. However I just realised he does most of the cooking (does mine separately as I'm not keen on too much heat).... so I basically bought him ingredients. I'm mortified.

The thought was that I know he loves chillies and his food in general. What do I do? Should I just take a punt that he has opened it, is miffed and so I should say sorry? I'm so embarrassed. I just thought it would be something he would like... he has bloody everything so really hard to buy for. I also made up a potted plant for him but have yet to give it to him.. he knows about that.

Sounds like a great gift. I love chillies and I'd be really pleased with that. It sounds thoughtful to me.

Well obviously I don't know what he thought, but I like cooking and I would see that as something new to try and being encouraged to continue cooking (great when you have moments of self doubt) even more so if it's something I enjoy that not everyone would, like chillies, because it's a gift for me to enjoy using and eating, rather than a gift for me to enjoy using but everybody benefitting from the outcome. If you don't like that sort of thing then it shows you have thought of him and don't want him to miss out just because you don't have it

Erm...I think you're over thinking it a bit!

He might love the gift (and it sounds like a thoughtful and well-chosen one on your part, I'd be really happy to receive that) and just not have got around to saying thankyou to you yet - or maybe he'd rather wait and say it in person.

(and FWIW I think that's rude and that thanks for gifts should be given promptly, but not everyone feels that way).

I love chillies, cook lots and would be delighted with that xx

I'd like that gift. Have you contacted him about the present he gave you yet or had you opened it before he went?

What did he get you? And when / how did you thank him?

OP I think you are over worrying. Present sounds a good choice and it can be tough when you first start buying for a new partner. I'm sure it'll all be fine.

Oh punt I didn't know it was rude :( shoot.. I was just excited because I really like him.

Yes, maybe I am over-thinking ... can I blame having only had one conversation today so all day to think about stuff? ;)

His present made me tear up. It was so lovely, thoughtful and personal (can't say what it was without totally outing myself). I thanked him and made a little fuss over it today to let him know that I was really happy with it... a little fuss... not over the top

If he is anything like me he may have simply forgot to say thanks. Sometimes I think I oh I must send a thank you and then other distractions get in the way before I do. Before I know it other things have filled my head and I totally forget I haven't sent a text. Try to chill out and not stress about it unless you find out otherwise. Sounds a nice present.

For heavens sake stop worrying. It's a lovely present and just the right level of thoughtful for a new relationship. He's probably pissed/playing family games/hasn't opened it yet in case it's a 12" dildo/something else. If you start with grovelling apologies he will think you're a looper.

It's not 'ingredients'in the sense of basic ingredients, but a thoughtful gift for someone who likes cooking.

You'd probably be right in worrying if you'd bought him a bag of plain flour, two tins of basics chopped tomatoes and some onions. But you didn't.

Ok... phew... thank you all for settling me worry.. glad to hear it wasn't a crap present. Practical yes, not as personal as his, but hopefully he knows I thought about it.

I haven't said anything to him about it the gift. I'm hoping he just forgot to say anything about it.

Actual lol @ milady

I've had all day on my own so clearly had too much time think and got myself worked up.

Thank you mumsnetters

Hey it's only my personal opinion that it's rude, other opinions are available! I think it would be fine to say a quick "Thankyou again for my lovely gift - I hope you liked yours" if he doesn't thank you soon, just in case he really has forgotten/thought he'd already said thanks etc.

It's one gift and its one that is relevant to him. He's not going to hate you over that. If he does he's a tosser.

Enjoy the gift he got you that's making you feel glowing.

I've got the weirdest sense of deja vu, I'm sure I've read a really similar thread before!

I think you're over analysing. Sounds like a nice present to me.

Sounds like a thoughtful gift to me. Also you haven't known him that long. Get him a bigger, more romantic gift for his birthday.

That was a literal dejavu sj ;) no.. i haven't posted this before. I've only been posting for a few months. Lurked a lot beforehand... wish I had lurked for longer though as I have learned so much from you guys.

I didn't have a normal childhood so have v little experience of relationships, which led me to be susceptible to abusive relationships. This is my first non-abusive relationship and I'm nearly 40. This place has helped me so much as to what is acceptable/"normal" and what is not.

It's a great present.