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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think christmas with small dcs actually isn't that great?

102 replies

NapQueen · 25/12/2016 21:37

Yes their little faces at the gifts and the magic of "has he beeeen?" Is lovely but

They get overwhelmed at getting extended family gathering
They get bought craft kits which are too old for them and they want open now even if there's no space to do any
They need to nap more because it's all so exhausting
They don't want the food
They need care and attention so gone are the days of getting quietly squiffy and playing charades or articulate
They generally eat a lot more shit so have these random sugar highs and lows

I'm fucking exhausted!

"Christmas is for the kids" - only because they steal it!

OP posts:

SydneyCarton · 25/12/2016 22:46

Yep, 2.8 year old and 8 month old here, and while it has been lovely in parts it was all a bit too much for the toddler and there was a Christmas dinner refusal standoff. Only food consumed was two mini sweetcorn cobs, so tomorrow's nappy should be a delight. A particular low point was discovering she had thoughtfully garnished my glass of champagne with a glob of blue play-doh....

Frazzled2207 · 25/12/2016 22:47

I hear you.
Mine are 19m and 3.4 and it's been a trying day. Despite our best efforts neither ate hardly any food. I did however have an hour of relative peace watching Frozen with dc2 while Dh was upstairs playing the racing track with dc1.

cardibach · 25/12/2016 22:48

I've just had Christmas Day with extended family from 95 year old dad to 18 month old great nephews. It was a bit less wild than some years, but we still had a long, long lunch and plenty of alcohol. I think extra adults help as you can share the time playing with them.

Scholes34 · 25/12/2016 22:48

Once they're teenagers, they'll play Articulate, Five Second Rule, Pay Day, Sort it Out, The Really Nasty Horse Racing Game, Absolute Balderdash, Poker, Uno, Hearts - if you train the up right. Mind you, your alcohol bill escalates and Santa actually comes earlier each year, usually before they're back from the pub on Christmas Eve.

cardibach · 25/12/2016 22:48

Meant yo say, my DD is 20 now and has been lovely at Christmas for years! Hang in there.

twattymctwatterson · 25/12/2016 22:51

This has literally been my day including the craft kit. She had a wobbler at bedtime and now I'm in bed with her. She's sleeping and I'm watching Se7en 😬

guinnessgirl · 25/12/2016 22:52

YES, I just came on to start this thread and could have written your op word for word. I love seeing them open their presents, but it's massively overstimulating for both DSs (1 and 6) and it's just a day of really hard work. I can count on one hand the blocks of time longer than 10mins that I got to actually sit down and relax a bit. I'm bloody exhausted. DH went to bed at 9 with a tension headache from all the stress of it. I'm only now sitting down with a large G

ChickenMe · 25/12/2016 22:54

I hid upstairs for two hours, face planted into a pillow. My daughter is 21m, she's adorable but spent the entire day climbing on me asking for BABBY (boob), ate one roast potato, nearly hit her head on my parents' coffee table a million times.
I do find it stressful at other people's' houses that aren't child proof

Evilstepmum01 · 25/12/2016 22:55

Phew! We are sooooo tired! 3yo DS was so excited and lovely watching him open his presents! He wanted to play with every toy and had a playdoh high about lunchtime. then his sister, my DSS arrived and we did it all over again.
Cue much overtired overwhelmed disagreements about which toy/game to play first/whose toy it was/whose turn it was!!
As soon as they want to bed, DH and I had a nap on sofa and now having prosecco!
Phew, I love them but its been full-on today! Tired but happy!

BeanAnTi here hoping the new year brings you happy news

Anatidae · 25/12/2016 22:56

Swimming against the tide here but have just had a lovely day with the toddler. He's been excited and had a lot of fun. Took him upstairs when he got a bit too excited and he's been lovely.

The80sweregreat · 25/12/2016 22:58

It does improve as the years roll on. Promise.
I had a friend who used to have christmas dinner christmas eve, leaving the day free for just the kids! I thought it was genius idea for little ones , but nobody was interested in doing this here ( you cant do that ! Such outrage )
It is exhausting with kids. Tomorrow might be better.

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 25/12/2016 23:01

Anything beats my first Christmas of motherhood in the hormonal fug of having a 6 day old baby, sobbing at away in a manger with little Lord Jesus not hving a crib for a bed, and sniggering away at the turkey having been stuffed with a fresh memory of an obstetrician rumaging around in my abdomen

DSs are now 6 and 3. It's been fun as they're both well up for it. The day's been structured quite well. We gave a few presents then we went to church. Then they played while I did dinner. DH and I then inadvertently crashed out and they resumed playing. We then went visiting relatives.

MrsMcMoo · 25/12/2016 23:01

You're so right op. Biggest surprise of motherhood, how very unmagical Christmas was with small children! It gets easier xx

nokidshere · 25/12/2016 23:05

It is knackering when they are small, mostly because they get up so early!! We never did a full Christmas dinner when they were small, just a table of nice food to graze on throughout the day and that has carried on now they are teens.

Today I had to wake them at 10, we spent a couple of nice family hours together and they have since been upstairs with friends and gadgets allowing me and dh to drink eat and chill - it comes round sooner than you think, honest!

NutellaLawson · 25/12/2016 23:08

It's been utterly exhausting with a 4 year old, 2 year old and 1 year old (who is in that clingy phase where you can't leave the room even for a pee without wails). None wanted xmas dinner and have been living off chocolate, biscuits and crisps all day. The relatives seem unaware that we simply cant join in with the games because in approximately 5 minutes the 2 year old will spill a drink and the 4 year old will be found bashing the 1 year old with a toy horse because she touched it. And then you're cleaning bits of half eaten chocolate coins out of the sofa that people have sat on.

I'm glad to hear it gets easier.

bbrisotto · 25/12/2016 23:09

I have a 5 year old and 19 mo the old daughters. The toddler is going through the "mine" stage and although new to this present opening thing ripped through them and wanted everyone elses too.

My 5 year old let herself down by asking for more constantly tantruming and generally being a bit of a brat. When do they become able to appreciate the gifts they are given, I hate them being so greedy.

Maryann1975 · 25/12/2016 23:09

Mine are older are a bit older now, 10, 8 and 6, so have gone past some of what you say, but I do remember what you have described, but it does get easier. But, I so hear you about the craft sets. I never buy children craft sets, however simple they seem. The DC have had a a couple of them today and have nagged all day and honestly, the last thing I want to be doing today is getting the fecking glue out and making felt penguins and painting pot ponies. So the generous giver of those gifts has really just caused me arguments as to why I won't do the crafts right now. Thanks for that.

Caterina99 · 25/12/2016 23:11

One 18 month old here. Just us at home this year so we went with the flow and stuck to his nap and meal times etc. pretty much a normal day for him with extra Skype and presents to open.

I'm guessing this is the last year of fairly chilled Christmas as next year he'll be fully aware and totally hyped up with excitement! And we'll be staying with family. Big dinner. Hundreds of presents. Am tired just thinking about it!

Blerg · 25/12/2016 23:19

It is hard! We had a fairly good day, just us and DD 3 and DS nearly 1. But maybe the bar on 'good day' is set quite low. There were some chocolate related skirmishes and toy related shoving.

When DD was 15 months the day started at 3.30am. Not because she was excited (too little) but that's was when she got up - though 4 was more typical. It went on for months!

Redesul · 25/12/2016 23:24

Ahh I totally agree. DS is in my room with DP and I as we have a visitor who is using DS bed. 4am this morning I awake to being tickled on the feet by DS. He then climbed in with us, to only then awake at 5am when my DP had to get up for work. The night before he didn't fall asleep until very late. DP has worked Xmas eve, day, and is working boxing day, at least his shift ended at 4 today so we got to have Christmas dinner together. We didn't open presents until he got home. So DS resisting those has been interesting. I've been feeling a bit ill the last few days and have pretty much done everything solo. Poor DS has been a bit bored, very tired and hyper and excited all at the same time and has just been difficult. Usually he's very well behaved (mostly..). He didn't eat any dinner. We've had a few wet trouser accidents because he's been too hyper. And as always DPs sister has been very generous to DS and gotten him loads of presents. So while watching DS open his presents has been fantastic, getting through them has been a bit up and down.

It was nice to have that rant. Thank you for that!

flupcake · 25/12/2016 23:25

5, 8 and 11 yr olds here. Although tiring, this year has been much easier without any tantrums or meltdowns.
We have got into the habit of doing a big Xmas meal/presents exchange on Christmas Eve with the in-laws; and then we have a simpler meal on Xmas day so we can actually relax and have a nice time with the kids, play with them, watch a film etc. Then we have another get-together a couple of days later with my family, usually a buffet, and exchange gifts with them. The kids love it, they say 'we get 3 Christmas days!' I think it takes the pressure off Xmas day if you spread it out a bit. There's so much expectation otherwise for that one day of the year, no wonder the toddlers have meltdowns!

AmberEars · 25/12/2016 23:27

It does get better OP. Mine are primary age (youngest is 7), still believe in Father Christmas but are old enough to play independently while DH and I cook and sit nicely at the table to eat lunch. So we get the best of both worlds!

UnexplainedOnHerCollar · 25/12/2016 23:27

So true. Especially for small children who thrive on a routine. They get unsettled, overexcited, grabby, tantrummy or clingy (or all of those). And I think one of the hardest things is that pre-DC you can at least cope with Christmas and visitors etc. by getting a bit drunk and zoning out/falling asleep/having a "migraine" and retiring to your room. With little DC you have to stay up and be on call and deal 101 stressful situations all day.

I agree it's nicer when they're a bit older, and particularly (controversial!) once they don't believe in Santa. So much more fun and relaxed.

LotisBlue · 25/12/2016 23:30

My 4 year old was great all morning but after lunch started to go downhill and has gone to bed with a bad cold and temperature.
The one year old is suffering from teeth and separation anxiety so I had to go to bed when he did and have spent the evening lying in bed with him, on the Internet, while dp site in the living room drinking all the Christmas beers

Neither child ate any of their Christmas dinner and the baby insisted on being attached to my boob while I ate mine.

phoenix1973 · 25/12/2016 23:30

Gawd yeah. Yanbu.
They get overwhelmed.
They play with boxes not presents
Every fucking toy they get needs a fucking screwdriver just to put batteries in.
Every fucking toy they get needs those fucking tabs removing before you can even think of getting that fucker out of the box.
All to the whining mummmeeeeeee want to play............
The food is too rich so they either don't like it or shit themselves.
I hated it.
Mine is 10 now and we all really enjoy Christmas 😍😄

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