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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be upset at husband over this?

35 replies

tawny123 · 24/12/2016 21:30

My husband has just gone to bed but has not yet wrapped up a single Christmas present for me. He's bought them just not wrapped them or put under tree. All in carrier bags in his study still. He has however managed to fit in an eight mile run this morning whilst I did the cooking and looked after 3 year old. Am I being unreasonable to be irritated by this?

OP posts:
RainbowJack · 24/12/2016 21:31

Maybe he'll get up early and do it?

OohhThatsMe · 24/12/2016 21:32

How come he's gone to bed so early? Will he wrap them in the morning?

Haggisfish · 24/12/2016 21:33

It depends. Is he planning on getting up early to wrap them tomorrow? Is he usually crap? I wouldn't mind but dh is generally fab.

Stormwhale · 24/12/2016 21:33

Yanbu. Dp has just wrapped mine. If he hadn't bothered I would be upset.

Original poster
tawny123 · 24/12/2016 21:33

Perhaps but with a three year old who'll be up at the crack of dawn good luck to him fitting that in

OP posts:
HarryPottersMagicWand · 24/12/2016 21:34

YANBU. DH is doing mine now, all my family, his and the DCs were done last week. Doing it on the morning smacks of 'I've left it to the last minute as it isnt that important to me'. Why has he gone to bed so early?

JenniferYellowHat1980 · 24/12/2016 21:35

YANBU. It irritates me theat DH doesn't think about it until the DCs are in bed then has to fanny about climbing into the attic to get more paper. Would be unimpressed if he didn't bother at all. Why did you end up on dinner duty? That should be a joint effort.

DonutParade · 24/12/2016 21:40

YABU, mine from dh are unwrapped in a cupboard, if they get wrapped yay, if they don't, yay. It's so not important to me.

wherethefuckisthefuckingtuna · 24/12/2016 21:43

This is exactly the sort of thing my husband would do. And it would piss me right off too.

People will tell you it doesn't matter and he'll do it in the morning. But it just seems so thoughtless and unkind to me.

YANBU.

Original poster
tawny123 · 24/12/2016 21:51

Thank you. Exactly how I feel about it

OP posts:
DearMrDilkington · 24/12/2016 21:56

Think how much better it is for the environmentXmas Smile. Is it possible that's why he hasn't wrapped them?

I wouldn't be that upset but if it upsets you then it's upset you, but do remember he did buy you presents so he obviously cares.

DaffyJones · 24/12/2016 21:57

Is he completely exhausted from this morning's run?

Bogeyface · 24/12/2016 22:00

He fitted in a run because it was important enough to him to find time for........

I would be hurt and upset too and I would be having a word about it once Xmas was over.

BakeOffBiscuits · 24/12/2016 22:02

Mine managed to wrap my present when I went to church earlier.

I know because he told me as soon as I got back in.

"I've wrapped all your presents (there's 3) and my mum and dads (2 more). It's not as easy as you think, it takes a lot of time" Xmas Hmm

My reply was "I know how long it takes, I've wrapped over 50 of the fuckers this week"

Do I have grounds to LTB?

Lemon12345 · 24/12/2016 22:13

Biscuits, most definitely LTB!

But seriously different things are important to different people. If it's important to you then you need to let him know. No point spoiling Christmas over it, but if they aren't sorted once your opening presents in the morning then take a calm quiet minute to explain this to him.
I hate those who say be grateful that he's bought you presents in the first place, but I chose, ordered and wrapped my own this year and to top it off it's a kitchen appliance (which is apparently not acceptable)... Some would say LTB.
I would love a nice surprise but for me there are more important things. But it's not my feelings that are being hurt, it's yours. If it's important to you then you need to tell him. He's not a mind reader.

DameDeDoubtance · 24/12/2016 22:15

Did he buy gifts for his family? Were they wrapped?

awayinamazda · 24/12/2016 22:22

You could move his gifts out of the way, and say that, as he hasn't yet found time to wrap yours, u can save his until he's ready - that may help him get his arse into gear ;-D- perhaps u can both have them after DC is in bed?

EweAreHere · 24/12/2016 22:26

YANBU at all

catwoman0815 · 24/12/2016 22:28

sorry but YABU. You sound about 6 years old.

awayinamazda · 24/12/2016 22:30

A slight diversion - ability to choose and give nice gifts seems unrelated to a blokes general niceness in my experience. The only partner I've had who bought really nice gifts (with thought as to what I'd want, not generic smellies or chocolate) was not very nice to me otherwise - abusive in retrospect.
My nice, kind partner just won't do cards at all, and once got me a £1 packet of chocolates with the price still on as my main pressie (awkwardly, I had a big box of the same brand, sitting on the table...).
I used to be a bit hurt, but now feel that general kindness and consideration go smoothly further than pressies :-).

Butterymuffin · 24/12/2016 22:32

That's poor. When he says in the morning 'I haven't wrapped yours', hand him the paper, scissors and tape and say 'There you go! Take 3yo up with you and they can help while I get on with the dinner'. Then sit and have a Baileys in peace and quiet. Less likely to be repeated next year. Oh, and do NOT let him go for an 8 mile run in the morning.

ChocoChou · 24/12/2016 22:51

Is it possible they're still in the carrier bags but gift wrapped by the actual shop?
My DH has no intention of wrapping my gift (or even trying to hide them) which is why I know I have
A pair of boots
Undies
Some form of jewellery.

All wrapped from the shops he bought it in. Not complaining though as last year he bought me naff all Xmas Smile

bangingmyheadoffabrickwall · 24/12/2016 23:15

At least you have presents!

For the past five years I have:

  1. Thought about what to buy EVERYONE including her our children since birth.
  2. Shopped and until this year paid for EVERYONES presents.
  3. Wrapped everyone's presents (as well as bought the wrapping paper and cellotape)
  4. His presents and then brought them downstairs.
  5. Did the online shop, took delivery of it and put it away as well as shopped for last minute stuff.
  6. Bought and wrote cards.
  7. Went to every Christmas party/gathering with children (DH went to two cos it was his works do for kids and his friends party)
  8. Advent calendars etc and every other shit at Christmas.

DH made the decision that 'we' weren't buying for each other years ago. Stupidly I did buy for him and every year he never seemed pleased. One year he made me take something back!
This year I listened and not bought him anything.
He has got a card from me and one from each of our children but I will be lucky to get that!
Oh and I am the one cooking and clearing away Christmas dinner.

January IS the month for divorces ...

Wenker · 24/12/2016 23:17

Is he usually this disorganised?

Fwiw no you are not being unreasonable.

DaffyJones · 24/12/2016 23:27

Banging, in the morning tell dh you're having a break this year and he can cook dinner while you play with kids and their new toys.