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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Collegue lying about illness and blaming me

95 replies

Grindelwaldswand · 24/12/2016 00:54

Absolutely fuming a new starter at work decided she wanted to go home early last week because she was "ill", 2 hours later i go on my break and check my phone to see a long message from her about how she's gone into town to do her Christmas shopping and her DP has bought her an expensive lunch etc etc. So i tell my supervisor when i get back on shift and show her the message and she says she'll deal with it today,so later today i get an angry message from this co worker calling me a snitch and saying she will make my life hell if i don't fess up i told her she shouldn't send people messages like that if she wants to pull a fast one and that when she left her shift we all had to pitch in to do her work for her (she was 30 mins into a 12hr shift when she decided to leave) and ive just found out today she has handed her notice in already as its too hard working in retail !! She's been here two weeks AIBU for telling my boss what she had done ?

OP posts:

Billben · 24/12/2016 07:39

I'm with you OP. I would have done the same if I had to work extra just to cover for some lazy bastard who didn't fancy working that day. And all those people saying no one likes a snitch are probably the people who wouldn't think twice pulling a fast one.

Charlesroi · 24/12/2016 07:39

I'd have grassed her up too. By sending the text message she was dragging the OP into her lie. If it had come out later that she was skiving I bet she would have said "but Grindelwald knew about it"

ilovesooty · 24/12/2016 07:48

It's misconduct and there is no way the OP should have colluded in that.

I don't understand how she handed in her notice - I'd have imagined she'd have been sacked immediately.

MsGameandWatch · 24/12/2016 07:52

Don't blame OP for telling in this instance but agree that her stance in general makes her sound like a big old tell tale. Hope you don't let your collegues make you coffee OP........

Trifleorbust · 24/12/2016 07:53

I clearly said the new employee sounds awful. I have no issue with the OP's decision to inform her manager in this instance. My issue is with the fact that she says she is known for informing management whenever a colleague does something wrong. I wouldn't want her for a colleague because she can't be trusted. She would be running to the boss every five minutes about perceived wrongdoing, by the sounds of it.

Madshiplollipop · 24/12/2016 07:56

How old is this person, op? They sound like a childish little shit. Why dump on your colleagues, particularly at this busy time of year and expect them to cover for you. They wouldn't last five minutes at our place.

Madshiplollipop · 24/12/2016 07:58

"No-one like a grass"!Does the op work for the Sopranos!

Crisscrosscranky · 24/12/2016 08:02

YANBU to have told your manager on this occasion.

YABU for thinking brown-nosing managers is a positive trait. Your colleagues will distrust you and a decent manager would find you highly irritating I'm sure.

Trifleorbust · 24/12/2016 08:06

I have someone reporting to me who constantly informs me of others' comings and goings. She is a great worker actually but this is one thing I don't respect about her. I just don't get why she would tell her manager that her colleague is (for example) taking a shortcut with paperwork. In the nicest possible way, stop being a snake in the grass!

BIgBagofJelly · 24/12/2016 08:10

everyone at work knows I won't hesitate to inform a manager if i know they are doing something wrong

I thinker it's just the way you phrase this. I don't think most people would object to you telling management about people skiving like this girl did but if "everyone knows" you'd tell management it makes it sound like something that happens all the time, so unless you're incredibly unlucky and work with people that are constantly massively taking the piss it sounds like you run to management over petty tiny things which would make you unpleasant to work for.

It may be just the way you phrase it though and you actually only tell management about major piss taking (like this incident).

whirlygirly · 24/12/2016 08:11

I have one of these in my team. She is also a great worker but pretty universally disliked by colleagues. She's always trying to big herself up at the expense of others.

Not saying you're like that, but it isn't nice for anyone.

Fwiw I'd have done the same as you in this situation though.

winkywinkola · 24/12/2016 08:11

I would have stayed out of it, to be honest.

Yes, your colleague is a complete area whole for behaving the way she did. But she would have been found out eventually and dealt with.

You sound a bit creepy though, op, the way you dashed to show your manager the message.

winkywinkola · 24/12/2016 08:12

Arsehole not area whole. Ffs!

topcat2014 · 24/12/2016 08:27

As a manager I wish to know important stuff - and deliberately lying about sickness falls into this disciplinary category. The protagonist really can't be surprised this kind of thing gets around.

Being a bit late for work, for example, or other minor things, does not fall in to that category - and I would not want to be 'informed' of this.

As PP have said, this kind of telltale reflects badly on the teller.

The only exception would be any kind of health & safety breaches etc (I work in a factory setting) - as small ones can lead to larger ones IYSWIM.

Miserylovescompany2 · 24/12/2016 08:35

If the co-worker didn't want to make you an accessory to her bare faced lie then she shouldn't of text you. What did she expect you to do with the info? Have a laugh at your own expense whilst you and others pick up her shift?

You did the right thing OP!

Block her number forthwith...

GreenTureen · 24/12/2016 08:58

everyone at work knows I won't hesitate to inform a manager if i know they are doing something wrong

If this is true then your colleagues hate you. Nothing worse than the work snitch that goes running to management with everything (unless something dangerous of course).

Themoreitsnowstiddlypom · 24/12/2016 09:19

Op, I don't think your a grass and from the comment everyone keeps referring to I think their either taking it very literally or their pis stalkers themselves.
I have a very fine line with pisstakers, small stuff that doesn't really have to much impact in the grand scheme of things and that does very little harm I can ignore and let go but if you do what your colleague did then yes I'm with you.
In a previous job I saw so many piss takers most of the time it was small stuff that merely needed a subtle comment here and there at worst, most of it went ignored, however there were a couple of occasions where someone overstepped the mark. Once, two colleagues really took the piss and I was there to witness it, the person on the receiving end of it put in a formal complaint, the two who did it presumed I'd received a complaint also but because I remained professional thankfully I was left out of the complaint, one of my colleagues asked what I would say I'd professional standards asked me about it, to which I replied, you too either sort it out before it gets to that point and put it right because if I do get asked I will back up the complainant as they took the piss and its bit them in the arse, thankfully I didn't have to do it, but I would if I had to.
I don't like petty tell tale tits, but there is a fine line and it can take guts to stand up to those who are known for major piss taking.

Cherrysoup · 24/12/2016 10:02

What are you meant to fess up about? And why did you 'dash' to tell the management? Bit odd. I wouldn't have kept it quiet, but I don't think I'd run to tell the boss either. Is she a mate of yours to have your number already, having just started?

DailyFail1 · 24/12/2016 10:06

Careful OP. Too many of these instances and you won't be trusted either by management or other staff. I had a colleague just like you when I worked in retail & she was never promoted because (shock!) managers like to pull sickies too and will often get each other to cover for them. That colleague was eventually managed out.

rollonthesummer · 24/12/2016 10:10

I'm confused why she pretended to be ill but then send you a text saying she was shopping?! Why didn't she just pretend she was ill and not text you and then none of this would have happened?!

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 24/12/2016 10:12

Your colleague sounds awful, threatening you too with 2 minutes of getting her foot in the door.

However

everyone at work knows I won't hesitate to inform a manager if i know they are doing something wrong

If I worked with you I would be very, very wary of you.

But so long as you're happy with the possibility of colleagues watching you like a hawk for any mistakes, short cutting etc so they can run to management.

crashdoll · 24/12/2016 10:17

I think she was BVU to skive off and then text you but I agree with others are being too much of a brown nose. That won't earn you much respect in the work place.

VladmirsPoutine · 24/12/2016 10:39

She was mightily taking the piss but on the flip side you don't sound like the sort of colleague I'd want to work with. Doesn't management get annoyed?

FutureMrsRanj · 24/12/2016 10:40

I'm sure you haven't meant to make yourself sound like a jobsworth, informing management isn't always a good thing but in this instance you were absolutely right and the colleague sounds like an self centred idiot. Out of interest do you have a good relationship with your managers/other colleagues?

SuperFlyHigh · 24/12/2016 10:41

It's the lying that gets me, then if someone is genuinely sick and has to go home sometimes that can get brought into place with others (saw that first hand with an over zealous partner at my last office).

Retail too it isn't on, I'd be furious. I wouldn't go so much overboard saying re being a snitch but I would say how much it affects other people covering for them and isn't fair or on.

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