To make dd go into town tomorrow

[DorothyL]

Came home tonight to dd1 v upset with dd2 (13) - dd2 has lost, probably accidentally thrown away, the present they bought for me a month ago.

They have other bits to give so I can't make up my mind - should dd go and get a replacement?

YABU. It's between them to sort out and decide.

Why would you want to send her in?

I wouldn't... you know the thought was there, and it may well turn up at some point anyway

I wouldn't send her I was just trying to come up with a title
Just wondering what your take on it was

Just wondering what your take on it was

Take on what?

Are you asking whether you should force one or both children to replace present?

Do you mean that you'd pay but it would make dd1 feel better to give it? Or that you're sending dd2 to replace it herself?

Sorry no -

just whether if asked you'd say yes I think you should replace it before xmas day or if to say don't worry about it

As dds want my opinion

Dd2 would pay

How expensive was the present? Can DD2 afford to replace it? Is she generally careless?

£8

Yes

Yes, very

I wouldn't. It was an accident.
Annoying, sure. But obviously not done on purpose?

But isn't it for them to sort out? You don't orchestrate the organisation of your own presents!

To be honest, I would say that as this is a gift for you, they really need to work it out for themselves, and you feel upset that they are involving you.

I can't imagine anyone would tell their child to replace it. You say not to worry and thank them for the thought, surely?

I told them already that I'd rather not have been told!

It was the one thing I asked for so that stressed them because they couldn't just leave it (or at least that's what they thought)

If your DDs will be unhappy not to be able to give you your gift then they need to replace it. It will probably be a sore point between them over Christmas unless it is replaced. Tell them they need to decide whether or not to get another and you intend to leave it up to them to sort.
Good luck

I would tell them both to forget the whole incident. I'd speak to them individually also and ask the younger dd to give the older dd £4 by way of compensation/apology.

Towns are all hellish on Christmas Eve and I wouldn't send dd2 to get me an £8 present. Unnecessary, unpleasant and not what Christmas is about.

You don't orchestrate the organisation of your own presents! To be fair, you probably do if you're a single parent or have a useless spouse or else you may not get anything!!

Maybe ask DD to turn her room upside down this week? Theen tell them they can decide what to don but it's DD1 shouldn't replace if