To think this plan for Christmas Day is a bit..odd

[FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname]

Dss is having Christmas lunch and the morning with his mum & that side of the family. Fair enough.

Since the plan was always to pick dss up in the early afternoon and then take him to sil's house where we are celebrating, I assumed that the rest of us (i.e. Me, dp and his side of the family) would have Christmas lunch before he arrives, then pick him up and bring him over for presents etc.

But no, I am mistaken apparently. The plan is actually to hang around at home until early afternoon, pick dss up then head to sil's, then wait until dinner time for our Christmas meal, which dss will be sitting at the table no eating because he has a small appetite and will still be full from lunch?

Aibu to think this is weird? Christmas meal isn't supposed to be a lunch isn't it? Why do we all have to wait until dss gets there when he won't be eating? Won't he be bored just sitting there? Confused! Or aibu?

I've just realised that, actually, this probably is the more 'normal' way for families with children who have separated parents, it does make more sense. I've not experienced it before as in previous years with dp I've been away visiting my family so I've not seen it before. My bad! I concede I wbu

He's having his main Christmas dinner without you with other family so makes sense for you to have yours out the way while he's not there yanbu at all

I also think it's weird you think it's weird. He will be there for the part of the day that is the focus. Where everyone is together.

The meal part of the day, or any day, is not solely about eating. It's the togetherness and talking.

Yanbu

My son is with me til mod afternoon. We will have dinner when he's gone as it's his year to have it with his dad.

He wouldn't want to sit at a table watching us eat when he could be playing with toys

If it's any help, I was sat next to a vicar at a Xmas lunch recently who told me that on Christmas Day, after he's done the church service, he goes to his mum for christmas Dinner and then has to go to his dads and eat another dinner! Apparently neither parent will back down and because he's a vicar he can't just escape the country for Christmas (being such a busy time at work). So he has two full dinners every single year.

He is the real life Vicar of Dibley :o

It's pretty weird to have to sit through two Christmas dinners. I prefer a one year on, one year off plan anyway though, as in, child with mum on Xday one year, then Xeve next year. But, if you're splitting a day in half, it's kind of mad to try to make both halves consist of the same thing.

YANBU. He can still be included in the socialising without having to hold dinner up for everyone else.
This year he can have dinner with his mother. Next year he has it with you.

How old is tiny Tim?

😂

It's completely normal. We move our Christmas lunch around in order for DD to be with us. No way would we do it without her.

This year we are having ours on Christmas Eve as she's with her dad on Christmas Day and it's hours away so no time to do two.