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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For giving my dc Calpol?

109 replies

GoodEyebrowDay · 22/12/2016 08:03

My dh never gives our dc Calpol and when I do it's always met with 'why are you doing that?' in a low tone and later on mini lectures on it's bad sides. I only ever give Calpol when necessary (today I know for definite its teeth, eyes red & bloodshot, full of snots and cough) and it's no more than a few days a month I'd say and always lower than recommended dosage (she's 1 & still only give 2.5ml)

For background he was brought up in a homeopathic household and while I respect what they prefer, I'm not going to sit and listen to my child crying and moaning in discomfort.

Or am I just projecting & reading into it too much?

OP posts:
KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 22/12/2016 08:04

Of course you're not.

That's why it was invented.

Would your DH really leave a child in pain?

Lilaclily · 22/12/2016 08:05

Yanbu

This is going to cause issues down the years though, good luck with that one ! What will he do if your little one breaks a bone or needs a tooth extracted , waft about with some aloe Vera? What happened when you were in labour?!

Haggisfish · 22/12/2016 08:05

Yanbu. I personally believe homeopathy is nonsense.

DartmoorDoughnut · 22/12/2016 08:06

He gives you a lecture every time you try and ease your child's pain?! What a lovely man Hmm

Haggisfish · 22/12/2016 08:06

Yeah, have to agree. Homeopathy belief would be a deal breaker for me!

LittleSausageFingers · 22/12/2016 08:07

Give her the full dose! Of course YANBU. You'd want painkiller if you had teeth pushing through your gums and were full of cold, and I'm sure your DH would too. Homeopathy is bullshit.

Sixisthemagicnumber · 22/12/2016 08:07

Of course you are not being unreasonable. As an adult I take paracetamol when needed so why would I let my Child suffer when calpol can alleviate his suffering.

whifflesqueak · 22/12/2016 08:07

I don't understand people who would rather leave their child in pain because of some warped perception of bloody calpol. yanbu.

but yabu for not giving the full dose.

DartmoorDoughnut · 22/12/2016 08:07

Oh wow lila I bet he was one of those "we're pregnant, we're going to do it naturally without pain relief, we don't want toxins in our baby" twats

ChristmasTreeCat · 22/12/2016 08:07

If I have a headache or toothache, I take paracetamol. I don't expect my dc to suffer because with the same things. I don't give it out willy nilly but if they're ill or in pain, they have calpol. I give the correct dose. Clever scientists have developed the medications and dosages, I'm not going to start second guessing them.

DartmoorDoughnut · 22/12/2016 08:08

Oh and yes give your poor child the proper dose ffs!

welshweasel · 22/12/2016 08:08

YANBU. Paracetamol, in the correct dose, is one of the safest drugs out there. Homeopathy is utter bollocks. I assume if he broke his leg or something he'd be happy with a sip of water to numb the pain?

SVJAA · 22/12/2016 08:09

I give Calpol when it's needed, I have an aversion to medication, but if one of my kids is suffering and it would help, I give it. Your DH is being very controlling.

Sixisthemagicnumber · 22/12/2016 08:09

Yes - I agree that you need to give the proper dose.

AllPowerfulLizardPerson · 22/12/2016 08:10

Yes, you are projecting.

Paracetamol is of course a very useful painkiller. But It will not help snots/cough and probably won't help the red eyes either.

It would receive teething pain (or other toothache, until you get to a dentist)

Not all discomfort, or causes of crying during illness, are caused by pain that is relieved by this drug.

So trying things like a decongestant inhalation (which may well ease the snots and in turn the cough) is definitely an appropriate thing to do.

Reaching for one particular medicine bottle is not always the best way to get to the mutual aim of a symptoms-alleviated DC

HughLauriesStubble · 22/12/2016 08:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

yorkshapudding · 22/12/2016 08:11

YANBU. Your DD will be absolutely fine. Also don't be afraid to give the recommended dose for her age if you want to, it's recommended for a reason. There are babies and small children who take Paracetamol very regularly on medical advice for various reasons, once in a while due to a cold/teething certainly won't do any harm.

In your position I would be concerned that your DH's beliefs about medicine could cause difficulties as your DC gets older though. How does he feel about vaccinations for example?

Catsize · 22/12/2016 08:12

SVJJA, her husband is not being controlling at all! He is questioning her decisions for his child. Would you say the OP is being controlling for insisting she gives it against his wishes?

SVJAA · 22/12/2016 08:14

Being prepared to deny a child medication because he doesn't like it and continually questioning her (perfectly reasonable) parenting decisions? No, not controlling at all. Hmm

AllPowerfulLizardPerson · 22/12/2016 08:14

She doesn't say he is trying to use homeopathic remedies, just that he came from a family where they were used.

OPmis herself nit treating the DC effectively (using a medicine that will nit alleviate all the symptoms described, and not giving an effective dose).

They both need to improve their use of OTC/home remedies considerably. So not just reaching for one medicine when other treatments are indicated. But when you do use a painkiller, use the proper dose.

Feelinglikeafailure · 22/12/2016 08:18

Honestly, a few days a month seems excessive.

Cherryskypie · 22/12/2016 08:18

Calpol has potential side effects like any drug. It also has positive benefits like easing pain. The benefit outweighs the risk.

I find the anti (legal) drug attitude hard to understand when people choose to suffer rather than take a pill. It annoys me when they try to deter others from taking effective medicine. When children are concerned, I think they are neglectful parents.

Sixisthemagicnumber · 22/12/2016 08:18

Lots of people get headaches when they have colds allpowerful and paracetamol does help help to alleviate that.

yorkshapudding · 22/12/2016 08:19

But when you do use a painkiller, use the proper dose

To be fair to OP, she may have been lowering the dose because she had someone in her ear lecturing her and telling her that she was wrong to give pain relief.

Original poster
GoodEyebrowDay · 22/12/2016 08:20

when I was in labour he was totally 'it's your body & your choice' and didn't want to see me in pain so think this is because this is his child. I don't blame him, if you've spent your whole life being brought up with someone telling you all drugs & medication bad and each ailment is linked to an emotional issue I can see why he's worried when I give it. My giving half the dose is a compromise so will start to give all if it means otherwise be less effective.

I wouldn't say he was controlling but definitely passive about his approach which leaves me feeling anxious & guilty.

He initially wanted me to explore non-vacc but since he never bothered to check other options I took her to get vaccinated. He just said 'whatever you think is best' and I think it was.

OP posts: