To be cringing now?

[whensitmyturn]

Dd (10) is in a school choir, last week they teamed up with the local symphonic orchestra and put on a beautiful performance which they have been working on for ages.

I was giving the kids boxes of chocs last night for their teacher when I thought of the choir teachers who might get missed out of presents so I wrapped 2 Yankee (small) candles and wrote them each a thankyou card saying how much my family enjoyed the performance, how lucky they were to get that chance and that I appreciated the hard work they do. I said dd really enjoyed it and wished them a good Christmas.

Asked dd on way home if she gave them and she said she did but that they were smiling/laughing over the cards comparing them in that way where you think something is stupid (she did an impression- sort of when you grimace at something). I feel really stupid now. I changed the wording on both so they both looked different.
What if they think I'm angling for dd to have solos or something. She's an average/good singer but def not the best.

Aibu to feel like crap, didn't care whether they liked the pressies but the card with a genuine thank you was what I wanted to give them.

If your DD is correct the fault lies with the teacher and not with you

Don't cringe- pity them.

Hmm I think your dd probably got the wrong end of the stick tbh, I can't imagine why on earth they'd think it was anything other than lovely that you'd thought of them

Lottie's right. You did a very thoughtful thing, and they responded with bad manners (assuming your dd has not misinterpreted their reactions).

If your DD is correct (and she may have mis-interpretated) they are idiots.

What you did was a lovely thing and they were very rude.

Don't you dare be cringing.!!!!!!! Youve written a lovely card and they've mocked it, and in front of your child.
Next Christmas, fuck them. I'm disgusted.

That is appalling and I would struggle not to let them know I knew tbh

Me, too so. There are times when you have to speak your mind

you shouldn't give this another thought, if they were laughing, the shame is all theirs.

The most likely explanation is that your dd misinterpreted what they were doing.

Is it possible that your daughter was embarrassed to be giving them to the teachers, and has decided this is the best way to prevent you being nice and showing your appreciation for the work they do from ever embarrassing her in this horrible way again?

I suspect your daughter misinterpreted this, maybe she was embarrassed to give gifts, and was expecting a reaction, possibly they were just smiling and looking at them, ten year olds aren't the most reliable.

I agree with other posters that your DD probably got the wrong end of the stick about this (or is perhaps being a little bit disingenuous or exaggerating for some reason, eg embarrassment or because the teachers have annoyed her in some way).

I would think it was your DD misinterpreting their reaction. It doesn't make sense for anyone that someone let alone two people would 'mock' a thank you card and token gift in front of the child that gave it to them.

They would have loved them. No way they laughed about it, they would have been looking at the lovely messages inside and saying 'at last, someone said thank you!'

Your daughter has surely got this wrong. I've never known a teacher who would openly mock a gift in front of a child. As a year 7 form tutor, I have found that children around this age can be highly sensitive and misinterpret a look or a comment very easily.

It was a lovely gesture. We have our music teacher at school a gift as my daughter is in the choir, plays in the orchestra, plays violin and recorder so she sees a lot if her - yr4!

I think your daughter has got the wrong end of the stick.

I think your daughter must have got it wrong. I was s teacher for years. I have never seen staff be anything other than delighted with thank you cards and gifts. Your thoughtfulness will have been very much appreciated.

She is a sensitive girl and is pretty perceptive but obviously can get things wrong. She said they seemed to like the gifts as they smiled and said thank you but the 'faces' were over the cards. I can't think how to describe the face pulled. Sort of a fixed smile/more of a grimace where you sink your head back into your neck if that makes any sense. I really really hope shes just misinterpreted it all as well.
I don't know theses teachers so don't know they're like.

I would imagine the two teachers were comparing and saying how thoughtful the message written was, and how rare it was to receive kindness, possibly awkwardly laughing because they are unfamiliar with receiving that sentiment outside of a concert event.

Speaking as a teacher, I think the cards and gifts were really lovely.
I do think it's possible that yr dd cd have misinterpreted the teachers' reactions. It cd have been something like this: the choir sing and the teachers privately say something to each other along the lines of 'thank goodness it's over, that choir has taken over our lives in recent weeks - (joking) never again!'. Then your lovely cards and gifts appear. The teachers look at each other, exchanging lighthearted grimaces and comments along the lines of 'well, looks like we'll be doing it all again next year, (lighthearted) oh no!'

That's what we call a Mrs Doyle face! (Not quite the right photo but close enough)

It could easily be an 'aww how sweet' face.

oneday ha yes that's the face! And yes I can totally see how you could see it either way. Hopefully it was the 'aw sweet' one!
Ah well it's done now.