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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask why Americans are so loud?

159 replies

MrsMattBomer · 21/12/2016 15:33

We've got some American relatives and their friends visiting today. My god, they're loud. They've commented several times at how quiet and restrained British TV shows are and even when just having a conversation with us they sound sooo much louder.

My eardrums feel like they're going to burst!

OP posts:

SenecaFalls · 21/12/2016 20:19

'What would you expect from a totalitarian dictatorship,' not from a county so fervent about free speech!

I thought the same thing about all the posts about people being shamed (and children in school being punished) for not wearing poppies in the UK for Remembrance Day. At least in the US, by law children can't be punished for not reciting the Pledge of Allegiance.

SenecaFalls · 21/12/2016 20:21

And AFAIK, you're not expected (let alone obligated) to offer up your seat to soldiers. I've never heard that one before.

Neither have I. I have heard of people on flights that were too full agreeing to be bumped so that a soldier or sailor could get home to their families.

Heatherbell1978 · 21/12/2016 20:23

Yep. In my office a team of Americans have taken residence near my team on a temp basis. I have to walk away from my desk to hear myself on the phone at the moment. Their voices just boom and carry.....in an office environment (that's normally quiet) it's pretty annoying

Original poster

MrsMattBomer · 21/12/2016 20:26

Here's the soldier thing: www.johnnyjet.com/giving-your-upgrade-to-a-soldier/

But when we were in Florida and then California people really were fighting to pick up the bill for soldiers. It was weird to see.

OP posts:

MakeItStopNeville · 21/12/2016 22:16

I opened this thread originally in a restaurant in the US while I was waiting for DH to arrive. The restaurant was full and most people were speaking relatively quietly except for one couple who were so loud.

The funny thing is I knew he was the Chief of Police and his wife was, very loudly, telling him about how her friend had just found out her DH was having an affair. Seeing as her own DH is a high profile member of our community, you'd have thought she'd turn her own volume down!

LeopardIsTheNewBlack · 21/12/2016 22:24

I don't know, why do:

All Brits have terrible teeth
All Irish people work as laborers
All Chinese people look alike

This thread is very generalizing. I love the way on MN it's ok to knock Americans and the US all the time but then everyone is gagging to come over here 😡

MrsDustyBusty · 21/12/2016 22:48

I haven't noticed it particularly in real life, but I do notice that everyone on US telly bellows almost everything they say. It's really odd. Even the news. Who wants to have the news shouted at them?

Cherrysoup · 21/12/2016 22:49

Never found this on multiple trips?

Pollyxcx · 21/12/2016 22:53

How strange! We were discussing this earlier

We were at a restaurant and a group of 6 Americans came in. They physically and audibly took over the whole place. It was a queue to order system and they were quite happy to walk up and down the queue and lean over people to look at the dishes. I think we would just look as we moved up the queue?!

And the noise just bellowing and loud talking. We could hear them the whole time and they were 6 tables down from us. Not just talking but scraping chairs, banging glasses down, even their cutlery was loud.

SarcasmMode · 21/12/2016 22:54

I agree but also think it's a good thing to be more chatty and approachable.

SeasickCrocodile · 21/12/2016 23:01

Why oh why is this even remotely acceptable? Imagine if you were talking about all black people as being loud or all lesbians being aggressive? It's not ok.

SarcasmMode · 21/12/2016 23:06

I love how Americans as a rule are more open, chatty and not up themselves. Us Brits are generally very aloof and closed off.

If I spoke to a friend on Skype who was also speaking to an American friend they'd usually introduce themselves, ask how I was etc - most other Brits don't bother unless someone else introduces you.

KatherinaMinola · 21/12/2016 23:14

I once heard a theory might be bollocks that it is because the US was made up of immigrants from so many different countries all trying to understand each other (doing the shouting-loudly-and-signing thing) and that is why culturally the volume is higher.

(This was from a linguistics lecturer...)

steff13 · 21/12/2016 23:32

We're not loud, we're gregarious. And, there are about 320 million of us, so we're not really anything. Some of us are gregarious, some of us are reserved.

SalemSaberhagen · 21/12/2016 23:41

Why are black people so loud?

Would this be acceptable?

anotheronebitthedust · 21/12/2016 23:46

Seasick - but if I was on an American site and posters said all brits were reserved and spoke too quietly I wouldn't be offended. I might not agree but I wouldn't find the statement itself offensive.

I agree some posters have gone further by extrapolating that loud= brash, rude, obnoxious etc, but just "loud" itself isn't any more insulting than "quiet" - it's just a description.

There are aspects of American culture I don't like - in the same way there are aspects of British culture I don't like. I don't think British people are better than American people - I do think that we have different values and behaviours - and think it's interesting where and why those learnt behaviours came from. If we couldn't discuss these sort of things at all then surely the whole field of sociology would be defunct?

anotheronebitthedust · 21/12/2016 23:50

Also it's different to stereotypes about black/gay people etc because as far as I'm aware Americans have never been the subject of extended, systematic, legal and social discrimination? Country of origin, unlike sex, race, gender etc isn't a protected characteristic.

Pallisers · 22/12/2016 00:10

No loud isn't in itself an insult. But most of the other things said here are insulting.

Even the fairly mild and fair OP said "My eardrums feel like they're going to burst!" Way beyond "they are a bit loud aren't they?"

Some of the comments on here are appalling by any standards and hardly anyone except a few of us americans have pulled any posters up on it.

I ask again - why is this kind of comment ok?

American tourists where I live are spectacularly loud, and bellowing, space hogging and obnoxious. So much worse when they're in a herd.
It doesn't come across as confidence to me, just dickishness, and lack of awareness and care about everyone else in the world. They come across as very entitled and arrogant. Of course it's easy to stereotype people, but in general I have found this to be true.

No, americans - well white americans - haven't generally been subject to any systematic discrimination. Which is why I find these comments rude and offensive rather than something more sinister - although I might be wrong in that.

But then the British haven't been subject to any systematic discrimination either (and there is an irony in British posters tut-tutting about American imperialism but maybe you have to be Irish to appreciate that fully).

But I can tell you - lack of "systematic discrimination" aside, you wouldn't be happy if I started posting about "the British" the way people on this thread are posting about "the americans". Wouldn't matter that you have been top-dog for past few hundred years, you'd still think I was rude and stupid.

TitaniasCloset · 22/12/2016 00:10

My lodger is Colombian and my gosh he can be so loud when he is chatting, sometimes I have to tell him to keep it down because of the neighbours, he doesn't care, doesn't like my neighbours anyway...my friend who is Pakistani is also much louder and more dramatic than we tend to be when her family comes to visit I'm constantly worrying about the neighbours, I do think its a cultural thing, us Brits are just more reserved. It takes all sorts to make a world I suppose. Maybe we would be louder if our houses were bigger or had more detached properties?

TitaniasCloset · 22/12/2016 00:13

The USA USA thing reminds me of Team America, America!! Fuck yeah!! And all that, I do find most Americans I cone across on the social media are often delusional about their country. That's something us Brits feel a sneaky pride about, we can moan about our country and criticize it, but deep down are really proud of NHS and so on.

almondpudding · 22/12/2016 00:28

Country of origin is a protected characteristic. It comes under race.

Merriment · 22/12/2016 00:29

In the past I've worked with many different nationalities, some Americans are loud and some quietly spoken. Some British are loud and some quietly spoken. Some Spanish are loud and some are quietly spoken. Some Scandinavians are loud and some are .........

theoldtrout01876 · 22/12/2016 00:32

OMG My kids are LOUD !!!!. they are young adults but bugger me, when they are in the kitchen at night " chatting", they will wake me up, Im upstairs with the door closed. It sounds like they are shouting at each other but its just a normal chat voice, drives me insane

Merriment · 22/12/2016 00:34

What I did notice was ( the majority of ) American people I worked with had lovely manners and were very polite.

CheerfulYank · 22/12/2016 00:50

BECAUSE WE LIKE IT

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