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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel irritated when dh is ill

36 replies

oldguygirl · 20/12/2016 22:26

I think I probably am. Dh has a virus that my son has also had- I was the one who had to stay at home and look after our son. He works away during the week and is currently in a hotel room feeling like death warmed up. I don't fell very sympathetic. When I am ill I just have to take some tablets and get on with it. He is currently sleeping - I don't even get to do that when I am ill. No one looks after me and my son when I am ill as he usually his job comes first.
Anyone else feel like that menfolk can be ill and woman can't

OP posts:
yorkshapudding · 21/12/2016 13:15

No one looks after me and my son when I am ill as he usually his job comes first

What do you want him to do, not go to work? I know it's horrible having to look after a poorly child while you're feeling rough yourself but if your DH took time off work every time you or your DC felt unwell then he'd risk losing his job surely?

MrsHathaway · 21/12/2016 13:16

My people.

When he gets engrossed in something he forgets to cough. Then I'll say "ooh are you feeling better?" and it's as though there's been a mustard gas attack. Hmm

And yy to saying "take it easy" but not actually facilitating it. I'm managing a chest infection at the moment by taking all possible shortcuts, but about ten days ago when I started coughing up blood DH quite sensibly insisted I go up to bed for the weekend.

On Monday I got the DC up and dressed and came downstairs to find several days' worth of wrappers and dirty dishes all over the kitchen, full litter tray, overflowing laundry basket, and so on and so on. I wasn't better, just conscious.

He was then in bed for three days, playing on his phone and watching Diagnosis Murder.

But seriously every time he fake coughs and hacks and tells me what (healthy) colour it is Hmm I want to put him out of his misery. With a bread knife.

Rixera · 21/12/2016 13:34

Yes. So much this. 'take it easy,' he says. Because that's possible with a toddler? And if I do let the housework go a bit, it's just going to be a mountain to climb when better.

anannoyinglylongusername · 21/12/2016 13:58

you know yabu but I totally get it and I'll join you in the unreasonable-Ness!

As for those being told to take it easy..my DH swanned off for a 3 day work piss up when dc2 was 6 weeks old...

not only that but I was 10 days post op from an emergency abdominal surgery..

I also had an 18 month old with fever and no help

but as DH headed off to the airport he had the kindness to tell me to make sure I rest up...Hmm

PickledCauliflower · 21/12/2016 14:03

Whenever I am ill, my husband suddenly develops the same symptoms.
Not unusual if I have a virus, but it can also be if I have backache, a stiff neck etc.
It feels like I am not allowed to be poorly or experience any type of pain independently. I just look at him with a raised eyebrow now, whenever he mimics my symptoms.

MrsHathaway · 21/12/2016 14:14

Pickled - I remember someone on a similar thread (possibly an Elevenerife thread) making up some symptoms and watching the other person develop the same over a few days Xmas Hmm

If nothing else it might amuse you.

DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 21/12/2016 14:19

Every time DD or I are ill, DH invariably tells me he's "coming down with something".
If it's a sniffle then he takes a lemsip and hams up his sore throat, if it's D&V he has "awful guts" no fucking change there! but hardly ever takes a sick day and seems miraculously cured by the time he's due to see any friends for drinks!
I don't think he's doing it to get at me, I genuinely think he's a bit of a hypochondriac. I just ask him how he's doing and he's happy.
But it takes all my strength not to roll my eyes every time he's 'ill'.
If I tell him to go to the doctors he usually shuts up Grin

amammabear · 21/12/2016 14:19

I always hate this. When we're ill we have to suck it up and cope, but when the dh etc get ill, they don't. It really frustrates me.

PickledCauliflower · 21/12/2016 17:54

MrsHathaway I must have a look for that thread!

My brother in law has been in bed (yes - actually in bed) all weekend with a cold. He only left the bed to visit the bathroom and to shout down to family members for drinks and food 😳
Monday morning he is up and out for work as usual.

I suspect this was a ruse. The busiest weekend of the year in their household (shopping, wrapping presents etc) and he takes to his bed with the sniffles.

Weareboatsremember · 21/12/2016 18:02

I'm exactly the same. I had to apologise to dh last week as he'd been off work with a sickness bug and I still made him get up and sort out our 3 year old while I went to work etc. When I had the same bug a few days later I actually couldn't get out of bed all day, let alone take care of dd!
Totally get the setiment of him getting ill to spite me though!

MrsHathaway · 21/12/2016 19:49

DH is home from work. He has just eaten an entire pizza.

It was pizza for tea because I am so green I couldn't even think about cooking.

He suggested an early night. I cried.

"I think we should all have an early night," he adds. "I'm feeling awful." Then He remembered to cough.

Anyone available for an alibi? Angry

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