Giving kids gift vouchers...

[PissFlappage]

We give gift vouchers every Christmas to DH's nieces and nephew. We've done this since they were born. I'd always thought this was fine- it shows some willing but means the kids can get what they want and means the house isn't cluttered with unused tat.

Over the weekend, DH's brother asked DH what we'd got their kids and he replied it was vouchers and a tub of sweets each (so they have something to unwrap).

DH's brother went really stroppy basically saying that we couldn't be bothered to make any effort to buy for his kids. I said jokingly that we wouldn't bother at all next year then if that's the thanks we get. Things went back to normal then but he said it's apparently "bad manners" to give kids gift vouchers. I've never seen a problem with it.

So, is it "bad manners"? AIBU?

The kids are 2 and 5.

DH and his brother aren't close at all. We've only met these kids once or twice and DH can go several years without seeing his brother, they speak every couple of months for 10 minutes on the phone. So it's not like these are kids we see regularly and know well.

There are two things. One- DH and his brother don't speak very often so it wouldn't come up naturally to ask what they'd want. Two- BIL is very dithering and one of the reasons we did start giving vouchers was because he didn't really give us a straight answer for an Xmas present when his eldest was young.

We don't have children. We get a bottle of wine and some chocolates from BIL and SIL every year, which we're always very happy with

I personally think vouchers are fine. It's true that a very small child (ie a two year old) can't really understand the concept of spending a voucher, but then again, neither will a child that age actually notice that they haven't received a gift from someone they've barely met, and I would have thought their parents would be pleased to be able to use the voucher on something for them (even if it's something practical like clothes). I think most five year olds can understand the concept of using a voucher to pick out a treat from a shop.

Even if people don't approve of vouchers for kids, it's incredibly rude of them to say so. You've spent your money on these kids despite barely knowing them and it's incredibly ungrateful of their parents to complain about the choice of gift.

I think vouchers or money are great, however I know some people who are greatly offended by this (especially at Christmas). I always double check before giving vouchers for this reason.

I would love that! It's not like a 2 and 5 year old are going to be upset that someone they barely see hasn't hand chosen them a gift.

It wouldn't bother me at all and actually mine who are 4,12 (in a couple of weeks) and 7 would enjoy choosing things for themselves.

My family all contact me to ask what's on my kids list and what they can get so that's not putting in thought either but it means they get stuff that will be used and I think they are happier knowing their cash is getting a wanted present. Although they'd be happy and grateful with surprises too.

The fact is giving any gift is kind.

At 2 and 5 I would guess that the voucher doesn't mean much to them so they see the sweets as their gift. I would be tempted to buy them a large/noisy gift instead so the ungrateful parents will wish you had given a voucher

However, I can see where they might be coming from. The voucher means the parents have the hassle of buying from a particular shop, so maybe cash would work better, so that they can buy something from anywhere or put it into savings?

Certainly for my older DCs cash is always welcome. Vouchers often end up unused or being traded for cash with someone who will use them.

Jeez, some people are so bloody ungrateful. YANBU op, and he should be glad you spend money on them. Far easier for a parent to buy something with the vouchers, be it a toy or clothes, than piling up yet more stuff that the children didn't need.

Thanks everyone. Glad I'm not BU.