and a bit of a grinch?

[PecanPii]

This isn't a big deal and I feel like it doesn't even deserve a thread of its own but I'm seriously doubting myself and I'd love other people's opinions

We're doing secret santa with family members for the first time this year (they always done it but now we're joining in). All was good, £50 budget and me and DH have picked out our gifts. We presumed we just dropped off the gifts on Christmas Eve or whenever suits but apparently not. Last night I found out that we all have to be there to open presents together. That doesn't start until earliest 9. But our toddler goes to bed a lot earlier than that and we also need to make his santy present once he goes to bed. DN is particular about all this as she organises it and insists it's tradition everyone is there to open presents together.

I don't want to come across as a grinch but it just doesn't suit. DS goes to bed early and I like him to stay in a routine. We need to make his santa present and also, I'd like to make traditions as a family of our own that evening.

@witsender I've talked to other family members about hosting but this is a no no as where it's always been is kind of the hub of the whole family. Any gathering takes part there! They're all crazy about my DS and he gets very excitable at these gatherings! Even when I leave the room with him to get him to sleep, he has non of it. By the time his excitement stops, his grumpiness starts!!

I'm with you.
My eldest would have had a melt down that would start on Christmas Eve because he would have been over tired and out of routine. He would have had a short nap from exhaustion. This would have unsettled his sleep during the night. So the next few days would have been the same.
Fuck that.
Drama queen would be told to suck it up and do it whenever everyone could be together at a child friendly time.

YouMeanYouForgotCranberriesToo
You put it so much better than me and in less than half the words!

My dd is 5 and if she stayed up that late she'd be a nightmare. Both at the time and the next day. Also, I like to be on my own home doing Christmas things on Christmas Eve - it's actually really busy for us so would be massively inconvenient anyway. Id politely decline, it's an invitation not a summons.

Yep no way I'd be happy to keep the kids out that late on Xmas eve (or me!). DN can insist all she likes, it's your decision.
I think the best solution is just one of you go.

I'm on your side. Tell them it's too late and you'll pick yours up the next day.

I wouldn't have kept my toddlers up that late, even for one night. Not only would they be beside themselves with tiredness, I would too But please don't stay at home 'to make new traditions'. Traditions should be naturally occurring otherwise they bore the plants off and annoy everyone - a bit like the one you're complaining about here