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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To let my newborn get a cough?

20 replies

Blue2014 · 19/12/2016 19:06

DS is 2 weeks old, he's my first. My best friend wants to visit tomorrow with her children, one of whom has a horrible cough and cold.

I've had a c section and can't get out and live in the middle of nowhere. I'm struggling with the change to motherhood and am lonely. I really really want to see my best friend but having a newborn exposed to a cough is a stupid stupid idea ... isnt it?

OP posts:

Feelinglikeafailure · 19/12/2016 19:06

Yes. Very much a stupid idea

abbsisspartacus · 19/12/2016 19:07

Yes

DorotheaHomeAlone · 19/12/2016 19:07

Yes, sorry. It won't be worth it. A cough will likely make him wake more and a blocked nose can make feeding difficult. Long phone session?

Dinosaursgoboo · 19/12/2016 19:07

Don't do it. I know it's tough being alone, but having a sick newborn is worse.

UnicornInDMboots · 19/12/2016 19:08

I personally wouldn't. Newborns with coughs and colds is beyond miserable. I understand what you're saying about feeling lonely though... is there anyone else around for support?

Beth2511 · 19/12/2016 19:08

yes my 11 week old was hospotalised with bronchiolitis at 9 weeks old and is still fighting to recover. bronchi starts from the common cold/cough!

DonkeyOaty · 19/12/2016 19:08

Yes.

Friend should wait.

Congratulations on the birth of your baby!

Cakescakescakes · 19/12/2016 19:09

No way. It will be miserable for both of you. Newborns with coughs and colds can struggle to feed, get dehydrated and it can all escalate very quickly into something serious.

smEGGnogg · 19/12/2016 19:09

Yes. Sorry. My friends 9 week old is just getting over bronchitis after starting with a cough and a sniffle. He had to go on a nebuliser twice.

bittapitta · 19/12/2016 19:09

Yes for the newborn and just as importantly for you! You don't want to get ill while recovering from major surgery!

MollyHuaCha · 19/12/2016 19:09

If you have had a c section, the last thing you want is a cough! All that strain on the abdomen... ouch.

bittapitta · 19/12/2016 19:10

Sorry to hear that you are lonely though, any other friends or family to visit now so near Christmas? Maybe teachers who are on hols already?

Sirzy · 19/12/2016 19:13

As others have said as awful as loneliness is it's nothing compared to an ill newborn.

If a newborn gets bronchioltis then you could well end up spending Christmas in hospital. My son had it at 8 weeks old and was in hospital for 12 days critically ill. He is 7 now and it still has a negative effect on him.

I am not trying to scaremonger but please don't risk it.

FoofFighter · 19/12/2016 19:15

Last thing want after a section is a cough...

A friend's newborn is just out of hospital after his lung collapsed mulitple times after getting bronchiolitis/RSV.

Fair enough you cannot stop a baby from catching a cough or cold randomly, but to deliberately put them in contact with ill people would be madness.

WiMoChi · 19/12/2016 19:17

Mine is two weeks old too and very very snotty. We've all seemed to have had it. She's fine but there's been some worrying times.

My sister LB had a cough when younger. Ended up in hospital for a week with pneumonia and suspected meningitis. Pls don't risk it x

welshweasel · 19/12/2016 19:18

Deffo not worth it. I understand the lonely thing though. I drove 10 days after my c section as I was so bored at home I had to escape. Was fine actually, and once I started making the effort to go somewhere at least once a day things improved rapidly.

Bobsmum02 · 19/12/2016 19:19

Yes yabu. A newborn is hard work but a poorly newborn is much worse and invokes much worry and anxiety. I would be especially careful of him not catching anything this week, coming up to Christmas with limited access to gp's etc for a few days!

I know it's not the same but can you FaceTime or Skype your friend for a bit of adult conversation?

Original poster

Blue2014 · 19/12/2016 19:19

Thank you so much everyone. I hadn't realised there could be more serious consequences, im very grateful you told me.

I've cancelled her and we will arrange a phone call instead. As for support I'm very lucky that DH is mostly on leave right now, but tomorrow he's at work and I'm struggling with this more than I thought . But I will suck it up - you are all right. Thank you.

OP posts:

Footinmouthasusual · 19/12/2016 19:23

Yep no very bad idea.

Surprised your friend would visit a newborn with a sick toddler that's beyond selfish to both you and your baby.

It gets better op. Having a baby is like being run over by a roller physically and mentally. Keep mumsnetting.

Mishegoss · 19/12/2016 19:24

I know it's not the same but do use the parenting boards on here if you're feeling lonely and stranded at home. It doesn't replace people physically being there for you but a couple of forums really got me through the early weeks with my first. It's nice to be able to chat to mums in the same boat. Hang in there 😊

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