Hi. This is my first post after reading for years so apologies if I break norms of posting. Short background is met DH when 19 together ever since, nearly 20 yrs. DS1 10 ,DS2 9. 15 yrs ago moved 300 miles to be nearer his family and be able to afford bigger house. His family......well. he's the youngest, 2 older sisters who have no children. 1 is very bitter about this. Both have serious MH issues and provide constant drama. FIL quiet closet racist, have to bite my tongue or leave the room, MIL completely mental. She does unforgivable things but gets away with it as whole family enables it. Some examples over past 20 yrs...... when we got first house she refused to come and stay unless me and then boyfriend slept in separate beds..... she ended up on sofa cos I wasn't putting up with that in my own home. She referrers to everything we have as DHs property solely, she used the bucket we use for tropical fish to scrub the hallway floor using bleach. All on purpose, and all to cause drama. I caught on very quick not to engage. All of this.(and there's a he'll of a lot I'm leaving out) I deal with. I have never had a cross word with any of them, because while I can deal with individual incidences of crazy, causing long standing fights would a. Feed in to their crazy, and b. Be unfair, because they do not have the tools to function as rational human beings.
But my immediate problem is not with them. My mum, dad and brother are staying with us for a few days and my relationship with them is not great, but again, over the years and with some counselling I can see that I can't change anyone's behaviours only my own. My dad was extremely disrespectful towards me last night, and also to an object in my hom e made for me by a family member who is no longer with us. DH pulled him up on it and they all subsequently left (they are staying at hotel nearby as we don't have enough room)
AIBU to be really really angry with DH,? As I said last night, how can he expect better behaviour from someone who in 20 years has always been controlling and selfish (there is a reason I was happy to move 300 miles) He has made a difficult visit even harder for me to get through, we only see them roughly twice a year and it usually takes me 3_4 days to mentally recover. This time I have been coping well u til last night.
Mentioned his family in detail at beginning of post because I feel I put up with a hell of a lot of crap from his family constantly, why can't he be supportive of me for just 4 days. Am Sat here waiting for them to come over on verge of tears. I am not confrontational so last night's argument with DH was hard for me.
Thanks in advance for any comments