To have wanted to throttle this shop assistant?

[hyperhypermum]

DD & I went to the toy department of a local department store to look for a gift for her cousin. We'd been there a couple of minutes and were happily browsing the shelves of possible gifts when an assistant came up & asked if we needed any help.

Me : No, thank you very much.
Her What are you looking for?
Me: A gift for my niece.
Her: How old is she?
Me: 8
Her: (holding up something quite unsuitable). What about this?
Me/DD: Er, no.
Her: What does she like doing?
Me: Lots of things, we'll know the right thing when we see it.
Her: Well, what about this? Or this? (following us and holding up more things that were not particularly enthralling)
Me: (a bit curt, but polite). Look, I think it's best if we just look ourselves.

We then moved swiftly to another aisle. She followed from a distance and continued to hover. It made me feel really uncomfortable. Thankfully, some young girls came along who seemed more grateful for her "help"so we were able to finish our shopping in peace.

I'm all for a bit of customer service and get that she was probably told to actively help customers and generate sales, but fgs?!? I think if she'd persisted any more I might have exploded!

My worst experience was as a teenager when a sales assistant decided to poke her head into the changing cubicle to check I wasn't shoplifting offer her 'expert' opinion. I don't think I was particularly polite in telling her to go away...

That shop didn't stay in business very long, so I don't think I was alone in being unappreciative of the sales technique!

Agree re lush. We had were replacing our bathroom and due to various issues it took 5 months to complete, 5 months of having to beg showers from friends and family or driving across town to the gym. The weekend the new one finally went in I went to lush with the intention of buying just about everything in the shop but got grabbed by an assistant and she basically told me what I wanted to buy. I'm sure she was delighted that I bought 2 bath bombs and some cleanser but in actual fact that was the minimum i wanted, had she left me alone for 5 minutes instead of ushering me to the till after she decided i'd got everything I wanted I would have bought loads more stuff. I'm not very assertive in that kind of situation so just went along with it but I did want to email their head office and give them this as an example of how they're losing business with this crap. They sell nonessential items that people generally buy as a treat, an essential part of a treat in my eyes is having a look stuff and picking what you'd like, being told how to treat yourself isn't a treat! Hopefully someone at lush sees this thread, they are the worst offenders for this (although I found out today that kiehls are a close second).

I saw a shop in Japan had chosen to offer red baskets to customers who wanted help and blue to customers who wanted to be left alone. Such a good idea.

I was followed round The Body Shop once.

You know in films about historical queens when they have a lady in waiting shuffling behind them at all times stopping when they stop, etc? It was like that.

I shop online mostly now.

Shopping has become a batshit crazy experience where you feel like a massive inconvenience for just coming in and wanting stuff. Staff only hassle you like that so you find what you want and get out ASAP.

And don't get me started on the haunted looks you get when you ask for a bag. "They're 5p..!" Always said in a tone which suggest that taking one will trigger the end of humanity.

I don't really mind the whole thing too much as a few friends who work in retail are mortified that they are pushed to be so pushy by their managers so I always think of that when being hounded round a shop.
Me and DH did have the best experience of a pushy shop assistant in Ann Summers a few years ago that put us off going in there for a bit - had the usual offer of assistance when we went in and said no thanks and she continued to follow us around until she suddenly loudly exclaimed 'are you 2 into anal?! We've got some great things for that!' I think she was quite pleased with herself for offering such great customer service but I didn't really need the whole shop to think we're into trips up the oxo tower!

Lush and The Body Shop, agree with everyone!

I once made the error of walking into an empty Body Shop and was cornered by a very intimidating saleslady.
It felt like she was keeping me hostage until I bought something.

Totally agree with you OP, I have been known to leave a shop at less. I just want to look and will ask if I need help.

I absolutely hate this!

I left a shop once for this very reason, and I stopped to tell the manager why on the way out.

Spent a lot of money elsewhere. It's fucking ridiculous.

I have all my faculties. I'm perfectly capable of choosing my own things!

This can't work, though I guess it must since everyone bloody does it!

"Are you into anal?" might be a good thing to ask these shop assistants and make them go away.

What special stuff do they have for anal, then? I'm intrigued.

I went into Mac (DD wanted to buy something for her friends, not my choice of shop TBH) and I had to practically chase a sales assistant to get her to help me.
It wasn't busy.
It was full of teens browsing the on display cosmetics.
I'm an old bat but not completely past it, I have disposable income (not there to shoplift, they'd have been on me like lightning)

If it wasn't for the fact DD asked me to go there, I'd have been inwardly yelling You've just lost a sale there, tough .

Wouldnt it be refreshing if the managers at Head Office actually came down and worked the shop floors for a while...then they could see how much their stupid policies piss off customers....

Tons of lube, I imagine, Joffrey and maybe those fancy bead things that you stick up there.

That's a wild guess, I don't frequent the anal section or anything (not a euphemism) .

Aw thats a shame. i went into a local toy shop a few years ago and shop assistant was brilliant. I asked what i thought my niece might like at age 9.. she straight away said 'science robots' i was a bit even though i would have liked thia sort of thing. bought it and it went down brilliantly! ..
Assistants have to be a bit salesey theses days sadly.. but it can be super annoying so YANBU

Anal beads??

I always thought the Eldar Wand is the last Harry Potter movie looked uncannily like anal beads.

What was that about? Is that an in joke or something??

Ah Body shop. That was an experience and a half. I hardly ever go into store, just when they are rotating stock online so you have to go in store to buy the toner or whatever.
Guy is standing there with his iPad. Seems polite enough. Wants feedback. No problem.
Ended up with a huge rant instore to the sales assistants who just stood there like a load of wet fish. Took to Twitter and had a massive rant.

The problem was I don't mind giving feedback. I am one of the dreaded mystery shoppers. Have been for over 10 years. But when I am asked for feedback I expect to actually be able to give it. Not someone deciding for me that my answer was incorrect. Or skipping asking me questions and just answering for me.

BS to their credit did send me out a massive box of full sized freebies.

Stores have gone from one extreme to another. When i started finding anyone to help would be an issue. Not enough people on the floor so having to go to the tills, or their CS desks if they had one. This would be mentioned in my feedback.
Then they improved and started putting more people on the floor. You wanted some help, you approached the sales person and asked. Or if you looked a bit lost someone would approach. You either said oh yes, or no thanks. No thanks and off they would go, happily telling you if you change your mind do ask.. Lovely shopping experiences. This would be mentioned in feedback. Some of the questions would be did you like this approach or would you prefer how is was..
For some reason, it was changed. Maybe with the influx of online shopping and stores desperate to stay open, they show the human experience. Go online and good look to you. Come in and look a friendly person will become your personal shopper. Trust us, this is what you need. It's the age of consumerism. It's annoying, and I say every time it happens no I don't like this and score down. Some companies will want to know how this can be improved, and every single time I tell them the same, the none pushy sales from example two.

Even some restaurants are going down this route. Hovering near you. No fuck off and let me eat and drink in peace. I know how to get your attention. I don't want you hovering, waiting to whip my plate away often when I am still munching on the last bite. Or bringing me the bill when I haven't actually asked for it. I want to stay a bit longer, digest my food. Maybe have a coffee or something.

Sadly the fat cats in head office (who have never worked on a shop floor) think this is what customers want

Someone (maybe a fat cat at head office) also seems to think that any woman above the age of 23 loves being called "Madam". Has anyone ever in the history of humanity acutally been called Madam and liked it?

I used to work for Next and I hated it - their policy was that you had to greet every customer within 20 seconds of them entering the store and immediately ask if they needed any help, if they said no, you should back off but keep an eye on them and if they seemed to be deliberating or really interested in something but looking thrugh the shelf (for different sizes/colours etc) then you should approach again and ask if you could find anything for them etc, if what they wanted wasn't on the shop floor you chould check if there was any in the stockroom ... and if what they wanted wasn't in stock then you should take them to one of the till points, and see if it could be ordered into store.

It was all very overwhelming and felt very smothering, and I hated it as a staff member and would have hated it even more as a customer (it's why I rarely, if ever, shop there now). However, if that customer was a mystery shopper then if you don't tick all of those boxes then you get marked down and they make a big deal out of it, and they get mystery shopped practically every week so the pressure is always on to impress them even though 99% of customers and most of the staff hate it just as much.

Wouldnt it be refreshing if the managers at Head Office actually came down and worked the shop floors for a while...then they could see how much their stupid policies piss off customers....

TBH even just store managers sometimes! I work in Asda on checkouts/customer services and the Trading Manager (my direct boss) is always coming up with new rules and guidelines as to how I should do my job and the processes we should follow. While a lot of them seem good on paper, they aren't always practical on a day to day level and then I get it in the neck for not following the new rules ... but I physically can't and if my manager had even spent an hour doing my job then she'd know that, but she hasn't and therefore has no idea how different the job is to the "ideal" she has on paper. Fore example, a little directive like "You should keep your workstation looking tidy, so keep all paperwork in the desk drawer when not being used"... that's fine until I am halfway through filling in a report, with various reciepts/notes involved and all spread out to keep things in order and a customer comes up to ask a question, then another needs a refund processed, then the phone needs answering. At that moment my manager comes over to tell me off because there is paperwork on my desk and since I've not actively been using it in the last couple of minutes, it should be put away from view, despite the fact I am working on it, when the other parts of my job allow me to!

I worked in retail when I was an undergrad and i'd get bollocked if I didn't do this. I also had to push store cards on customers.

Thank God those days are over.

I'm autistic and stuff like that causes me real anxiety and stops me from concentrating on what I'm trying to buy add on intrusive music and strong perfume smells and I usually just leave as soon as I've walked through the door. I don't like anyone asking me questions either.

All the assistants should be told to say is "if you need any help, I'm just over here" and then leave people alone. If people need help or want to chat, they'll then go over and find the assistant. It's not difficult.

I worked in a Similair role we were told to go up to customers and no we don't want to.

I also hate when this happens to me in shops though . I think it's an outdated way to do things ! It used to work but these days people are more clued up I think on what they want to buy ( as in advertising / internet etc) people don't need helping as such with their shopping . People also seem much more horrified at awkward encounters with strangers these days
As I said it's an outdated way of trying to sell imo

DearMrDilkington Especially when they're like 18, have perfect skin like a porcelain doll and wouldn't know a line, zit or dark circle if it fucking bit them! Those are the ones I want to throttle [no, not really really throttle them, it's called exaggeration for effect.]

Yes, stores and restaurants make their employees do this badgering and upselling, most of us are aware of that BUT it doesn't make it any less irritating, especially when they won't take no for an answer are as persistent as the one the OP describes. YANBU OP.

I hate being sold to !
It really puts me off.
Many,many moons ago I worked in BSM's branch offices. We were 'reside' that when people asked how much driving lessons cost, you always told them £x.xx ,followed by "Why do you ask?"
I always thought that was a ridiculous reply...but apparently it was to go on to sell an entire course, not just lessons!!!
My DD works for a well known high street catalogue store. They have to sell as many store cards and product care as they can or get a bollocking.
I don't know a bout you, but whenever I'm asked about these things I always say no. If I wanted it, I'd ask for it. Why do they have to hassle customers?!

She also says people STILL quibble about 5p for a bag, even though this law is over a year old now. Someone called her "a slag" last week, because she wouldn't just hand one over to them.

i got called a fat cunt for charging someone for a bag recently jam