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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just so Fed up.

41 replies

BahHumbuggerItalll · 18/12/2016 18:24

Not really an aibu but I guess I am just hoping somebody will be along to tell me it gets better.
Me and dp are skint. We have 3 dc between us (he has a teen dd and a teen ds) and we have a toddler ds. Two of them have birthdays in December plus I have my birthday in December. Plus my dads birthday in December plus Christmas. I am unemployed at the moment, I am being treated for severe post natal depression. I am seeing a psychologist and they have recommended I don't return to work until March at the earliest. Dp works 6 days a week. We are just struggling so much. After the rent is paid each month, and the council tax, electricity etc there is only a tiny amount of money left to see us through to the next wage. I hate having no money and I worry about money all the time. I lie awake at night worrying and I cry during the day when dp has gone to work because I am so stressed out. It causes so many arguments.
I have had to wrap some old presents from last year to give to ds, he's only20 months so won't notice as much but it makes me so sad that I am having to do this. Dp and I have agreed nothing for each other. I'm too embarrassed to tell my parents we are struggling as much as we are, so I will need to get them something. It feels like we will never get through this and money will always be tight. Things are just so hard right now and I'm dreading Christmas. i keep seeing pictures of all the shopping other people have done and it's like a punch in the stomach. That was me a few years ago before I became pregnant, and then depressed. Please tell me this gets better. I need something to cling on to

OP posts:
Original poster
BahHumbuggerItalll · 19/12/2016 00:24

That's what I plan to do tomorrow thank so for all the advice! The calculator says I would be entitled to about £66 a months (at first it did £600 because I pressed a wrong button lol I got excited for a second!)

OP posts:
IamScarfaceClaw · 19/12/2016 16:39

Have you used the tax credits checker? It's well worth having a look and putting in an application.

amazinggrace2001 · 19/12/2016 17:22

Use entitled to.co.uk- sounds like you should be eligible for child tax credits if only one wage coming. Also if you not well enough to work then you may be eligible for income support or ESA. Also housing benefit if you rent.

OopsDearyMe · 19/12/2016 17:29

I feel for you, I do. I am the only one to bring money in and as I am disabled its benefits. (Which I hate) I felt l this too.
But try and remember this year is just a tight one, you'll be better by next year and can do it all more like you want to.
The pressure is awful isn't it. There are grants and loans you can access from your local council, make sure you access recieving and any benefits your may be entitled to. If you are struggling with the stress speak to a counsellor and do what I am trying to. Focus on doing rather than buying. I'm watching Christmas films, playing Christmas music and making paper chains. Think of the old war time Christmases and just tell the kids , we trying it different this year if the miss anything they expect.
Also shoot the parrot on your shoulder, who is filling you head with negative things, replace them with positive one, no matter how small and tell it to shut the hell up.

Original poster
BahHumbuggerItalll · 20/12/2016 08:14

Spoke with a CAB advisor yesterday and it turns out we are entitled to about £500 that we haven't been claiming for! We need to apply for that universal credit thing but he woman I spoke with said we will definitely get it, and because I have been diagnosed with depression, there may be other support and benefits we are entitled to.
I fully plan on being back at work by next summer but this will certainly ease the pressure until then!
Thanks for all the advice!

OP posts:
happychristmasbum · 20/12/2016 12:54

So glad you got it sorted OP Xmas Grin

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 20/12/2016 12:57

Wow that will definitely make a fifteenth to the monthly budget!

Merry Christmas x

haveacupoftea · 20/12/2016 13:10

So happy for you Xmas Smile

FooFighter99 · 20/12/2016 14:04

Just make sure you tell the Tax Credits people as soon as any of your circumstances change (even the smallest of things) so you don't get hit with an overpayment and end up owing them (like we did, to the tune of about £6k!!!)

alotlikeChristmas16 · 20/12/2016 14:06

brilliant news - glad 2017 is looking up!

HeSaysRhiannonDontGo · 20/12/2016 18:29

FooFighter don't worry I have already been thinking about that! Thanks everyone for the support when I was feeling crap

Original poster
BahHumbuggerItalll · 20/12/2016 18:31

Name change fail sorry guys!

OP posts:
sj257 · 20/12/2016 18:39

In the mean time if you are really struggling get in touch with your local children's centre they may be able to refer you to the food Bank, possibly even salvation army toy appeal.

BringMeTea · 20/12/2016 18:53

Standingonmy Billions of benefits go unclaimed in the UK. Yes, I said billions, so not surprising someone might not be aware of their entitlements.

Hope you are eligible for some financial help OP.

ClopySow · 20/12/2016 20:38

I'm not sure if it's still the case but you used to be able to backdate your claim for 3 months.

Hope it's all looking a bit brighter for you now.

BringMeTea · 20/12/2016 21:02

Great news! Have a happier Christmas!

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