To be annoyed at DH for dropping me in it?

[justwanttoweeinpeace]

So this morning DH announced that he'd bumped into our 70 something NDH who told him she was on her own on Xmas day. He started our convo with 'we have a dilemma...'

She's perfectly fine in small doses, but can be bloody hard work when neighbour type issues arise (parking!)

He wanted her to come over for coffee on Xmas morning, which I'm fine with but warned him that I'll be cooking etc and therefore won't be available for chit chat. (I love this stuff, happy to do it, don't want to delegate or shift anything to tea time etc.) He of course doesn't fancy playing the gracious neighbour so that idea was vetoed.

I suggested she came for tea, DS (3) won't be quite so hysterical and we'll have had our big lunch by then. A pot of tea and a bit of supper will be a much more relaxed affair. Also she's not a night owl so it's not like she'll be here all night.

For reasons unbeknownst to me, that is a terrible idea. To explain the issues would be 'too complicated' apparently.

WIBU to just present her joining us for tea as a fait acommpli at 3pm on Xmas day when DH is a bit too food drunk to argue? No one else would mind. A few hours would do diplomatic wonders for 2017.

I'll feel awful sat here knowing she's on her own. I'm also worried that she's expecting an invite. I wish DH had never said anything to me now.

And I meant telling DH she's coming later on at 3pm, when he's full of food and Frozen. I'd do tea at 5pm or so.

As you have 3 year old, that's the entertainment sorted, surely.

Hand round food, pour festive drink, watch toddler playing. Lovely.

I'll drop it all on DW so its her problem. Oh heck I thought DW would just make it all go away - panic panic.

OK. So where is the situation now? Does he still hope/think you'll make it go away?

Yeah sounds like you've got one of those that wants the glory of inviting the lonely old lady next door, but doesn't want to actually do anything, like being a host or any of the work involved.

Just keep batting it back to him "I'm happy to do either A or B. If you want to do C then you make it happen".

Why don't you just invite the woman for Christmas dinner? It is Christmas after all. She might not want to come - my dad has had Christmas day alone for ten years but not for lack of invitations - but how would you be able to choke down your turkey knowing she was sitting there on her own and you haven't invited her?
I've had all sorts of people at my table over Christmas. Its just me and the kids this year. Seems a bit weird.
You clearly know that you should invite her. Do it

What is his preferred solution now? Since he has rejected the two you've suggested?

So he doesn't want to invite her for christmas lunch, can't be arsed with having to make conversation with her over coffee in the morning and having her round in the afternoon is "too complicated"? Sounds like he doesn't want her to come round at all. He doesn't want to be the bad guy so he's putting barriers up to every solution hoping you'll eventually come to the conclusion that it's completely unworkable.

I wouldn't let him off the hook that easy. Unless he can give you an actual reason (other than some vague bollocks about it being "too complicated") why it won't work or has a better suggestion then I'd invite her over at teatime.

how would you be able to choke down your turkey knowing she was sitting there on her own and you haven't invited her?

Turkey can be quite dry, true. I find copious amounts of wine generally help to flush it down.

I agree, if you invite her in the morning you can't kick her out for lunch. So it's either a lunch invite or an evening one. You probably should invite her for lunch to be honest.

I bet she won't come. I bet she can't think of anything more awful than sitting making polite chit chat when she could be at home watching Elf and hitting the Sherry.

she could be at home watching Elf and hitting the Sherry.

I wish I could just do this Sykes

Living the Dream . . . . ()

Why don't you call in and see her? Then you don't need to worry about politely booting her out - you can leave when you've had enough or sense that she has.

That's what I'd do. Call in in the morning with some mince pies and a Christmas tipple, perhaps even a little present for her.