To Not Agree To This?

[zukiecat]

I know there is a similar thread on here somewhere but this is my situation and I'd like some opinions please

I started work nearly three years ago in my local shop after a long time of having mental and physical health issues and I'm really enjoying my job

I have worked the past two Christmas Eves and Boxing Day, but this year I'm off Christmas Eve and working Boxing Day, I should also say that I work every weekend usually and only get one off if I 'm on holiday

A colleague who has only been there for four weeks is complaining that she has to work in the morning on Christmas Eve because she has DS, who is 12 and could I change a day with her so she could be off

My DDS are older, but I still want to see them over the three days!

I said No because it's lovely to have the whole weekend off for a change, but now I'm worrying myself about it, those of you who know me of old will know that I do stress about these things and I will agonise over it, get the guilts and end up changing my days!

I am more assertive these days, but do you think I should change the days? I'm working Hogmanay if that has any bearing

Of course you shouldn't change, don't worry and have a lovely time

zukie please don't change your day. Your colleague will no doubt try to guilt-trip you but I implore you to stand firm. You deserve this.

It's only a morning. 12 year olds sleep until 11am.

Christmas Eve is a normal working day. Tell her to buck up.

YANBU. Its ok she asked, you might have been ok with it but people don't always get what they ask for. I'm sure her 12 yo will be quite happy to have a lie in and lazy morning alone!

Have a lovely weekend off!

Thanks everyone!

A wee while I'd have said yes, no bother and let everyone walk all over me, but after CBT and all the support I get on here, I am much better at saying No to people!

Do not change your days. Have it off and enjoy spending time with your DDs. YADNBU

Don't change!

Go all fake sympathetic: "Aw hun, I already have plans"

Agree with yelloDraw

Zookie, I've seen you posting for a long time asnd I am so pleased you've said no. It shows how far you've come

Agree with yellowdraw. Ive seen a few of these threads recently & I find it so annoying ppl guilting others to change shift & the person then feeling like they have to justify it... so bc she has smallies her time off is more important than yours? Eh, no!

Well done for saying no, it's not easy sometimes!

Do not say you'll change the day.

You are right. Good for you standing up for yourself.

I remember you from the old days and this is such a positive change for you. Well done (sorry that sounds patronising but hopefully you know what I mean)

you've worked the past 2 years. It really is your turn to be off.

Nope. Do not change your shift. I'm working on Christmas morning, and I have children, they are under strict instructions to ensure that they have a lovely morning and we will have dinner when I get home and continue the festivities.

Working Christmas is not ideal, but in many jobs, someone has to do it, and children learn to cope with that and possibly appreciate what they do have, ie; a parent who is actually coming home.

Tell your colleague that you have made plans and you cannot change.

Good for you, getting strong enough to say no! Seriously, as a lifelong people pleaser I really understand how extremely difficult it is to say no to people. I'm trying to work up to doing it myself.

Very well done to you, enjoy Christmas with your DDs, and don't even entertain the notion of changing your days.

I'll be having CBT in the new year, and I'm hoping to conquer the guilt and turmoil that accompanies ever even trying to put myself first.

Stay strong, and have a lovely Christmas

I've just re-read, it's Christmas Eve. No, it is not necessary for her to be off. Her 12 year old will be asleep...

Hell no. She is talking bollocks...her 12 year old won't give a shit. Enjoy your break.

Don't change. It was worth her asking but ask yourself what you are getting out of the deal.

No. Practice self care and give yourself permission to keep your days off. You are fully entitled to and deserving of them (repeat to self as required).

Well done for saying no .. enjoy your Christmas Eve even if you sit on sofa with cup of tea .. it is your time .🎅🏻

Do not change days for her.

Oddly, while I understand everyone thinks the 12 year old won't be up, I have to laugh at that viewpoint. I have true morning person in my almost 12 year old boy. He's usually up first in this house! Doesn't know the meaning of the phrase lie in.

Don't change and don't be too sympathetic or apologetic. No, I have plans and I'm not going to change them will do fine. And for the future you need a rota system which treats everybody's private life as equally important - even if you have no family!