To be so annoyed with dp?

[MsMarvel]

Months ago, I had the idea that we could do up dsd's room for Xmas from Santa. (Posted about it at the time!) ran it all past dp who agreed that it would be good, and we discussed how possible it would be. Decided that we would have just under a week to do it, as she is only here at weekends. Said to dp that if he had any extra time with her on the run up to Christmas that he would need to arrange it to be at his mums, his sisters or his grans, who all stay within 2 mins of us.

He has now announced that he will be having her all day on friday, and that its not fair on her to not be able to come up to the house. So this will leave us 24 hours to gut and organise her pit room, paint and put up a wall sticker, dismantle old bed, build new bed, and have everything ready to be slept in on the 25th. Its just not possible based on painting alone, never mind all the rest of the stuff that will need to be done after the paint dries.

Dp is refusing to find a solution for this. Saying its not far for dsd to not be able to stay at home at this time of year. AIBU to think a sleepover at her aunties or her grand (which she loves doing!) is hardly that much of an inconvenience??

I do think I got a bit carried away, and that I understand that this is her house and if she's staying with us she needs to have her room and space.

Its just annoying that dp never stopped to think about this when I first had the idea.

But yes I do accept that I was excited about doing this makeover and that I'm annoyed that its not going to be able to go to plan despite the amount I've planing I've put in to make sure it all goes seamlessly. Instead, I've been thrown a curveball that there's nothing I can do about. That if so had stopped to think for a few minutes, could have been prevented.

But hey, I suppose Thats just life. Trying not to snap at dp about it because at the end of the day, it was an oversight we both made and I don't want to burden him any more than what he already is dealing with.

Really think the health issues are playing on his mind a lot. I'm pretty sure its stress but I think he's worried its something more serious. Not that stress causing health issues isn't serious, but I think he's imagining worst case scenarios.

Could she not be involved in the gutting of the room on Friday

Leaving you to paint and assemble on Saturday which is entirely doable

And if the sticker can't go up it can be left on the bed with a note from the elves to say they didn't know where she would want it

None of which solves your dp issue though

Can you just have all the stuff to show her with a Christmas bow stuck on the tins of paint, bed frame etc and show it to her on Christmas morning? Tell her the elves think now that she's 8, they thought it was time she had a new bedroom and they decided to leave all the stuff for you and dad to get stuck into it after Christmas? It's something for her to look forward to in the new year, and takes the pressure off you and DP for a week or two.

Decided that we would have just under a week to do it, as she is only here at weekends.

Apologies if I've missed something obvious, but if she's only there at weekends, can't you do anything in the evenings during the week? Or is the problem that you want the room to be in its "old" state on the Friday, but magically transformed to its "new" state on Christmas day..?

If so, can you not paint it during the week, then put most of the stuff back in before Friday. If she says, "this looks different," then say, "Yes, you know it's weird... We've been hearing little [elf-like] noises in here this week... Almost like there's magic going on... So strange!" or something.

Then the big OMFG THE ELVES WERE DECORATING!!!! moment could come on Christmas Day.

Something like that...?

You are way overthinking this.

Ditch it being from Santa's elves. Just make the bed and put the stickers up and tell her you'll paint it too in the new year.

Your DH is stressed with high blood pressure and you seem cross at him for being stressed. Stress/anxiety/depression aren't that easy to cope with and having a spouse who thinks you've brought it on yourself can;t be helping.

Give the guy a break and don't make it all about you.

What a great idea.
I'd be annoyed at your husband too.
Invite your best friend over, get stuck in and do it !

iminshock, getting someone to come round on Xmas eve to spend the day decorating will probably be difficult.

Do hasn't actually spoken to his ex yet, so there is still the possibility that because this year is our Xmas with dsd, that the ex might want to keep her on the Friday into Saturday. But if not, the room decorating will just have to wait.

I do quite like the idea of wrapping all the component parts, paint, bed in flat pack form etc etc from Santa for us to put together. Not quite the same 'magic' as I was planning, but think it will still work.

We have a solution. Room is going to be done for dsd coming down on Friday. As she has been so good this year Santa has brought an early present, but had to do it a bit early cos the elves would have been too busy to help on Christmas eve.

So when dsd arrives on Friday afternoon she will have her room all done up. This gives us 4 full days so should be enough time. Me and dp have both apologised for stressing each other out.

Oh god don't tell her you'll paint it in the new ear. That is such a lame thing for a young ish child.

Agree with winefortea - seal off her room. Build her a den somewhere else in the house for Friday - she'll love it.

Much better plan!

Can't get started on it while she's here or going to be here before christmas, as its Santa's elves that are doing it.

FFS. Buy a bike "from santa" if you must and decorate the room after Xmas.

I'm glad you've got a solution but it must be maddening to have a DH who agrees to shit you up and then denies all knowledge.

I'd get him to sign a piece of paper in future!

And he's totally out of order claiming that it's pushing DSD out of her house to plan a lovely surprise for her!

Agree with TwoFs tell her it's all there but the elves (?!) didn't have time to do it and didn't know how she would like it. Then she can plan with you, help and you can spend time together. I'd have loved this even more than a shiny new bedroom when I was little, it's exciting as she can get involved.

YANBU by the way but it is what it is and you need to find a less stressful way to resolve this.

Could you perhaps put a big bow on the door with a letter from Santa saying that there is a special surprise in store for her and the room is out of bounds till Christmas Day? That way you could have loads done before Friday and then skip the day she is there. She could have an air bed for one night and make a bit of an adventure of it..